My parents started fighting and now I feel sad.

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worthless_loser

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I don't really want any advice I just feel bad and want to talk about it.

My parents got into a fight about taxes.
My mom hurt her back today and started drinking for the pain.
Dad got home and messed up the taxes.
I didn't hear the specifics but I heard them start shouting.

Then I went out to do stuff and they kept shouting at each other.
Now my mom is crying and she will probably keep drinking all night.

I hate it when they get like this.
I know this is a toxic environment and I need to leave but I can't yet.
I am working on it though.
 
Sorry to hear your parents are fighting.
Hmm. Don’t think I have better advise then that you try to stay out of it. 
Let their problems stay with them. 
Not easy to do that but... I hope it gets better for you.
 
I am sorry you're sad. It's not your battle. Sending good vibes your way. Hope you can find something to distract you from it.
 
You have already evolved beyond what your parents know
You know the drinking and fighting doesnt help
 
BadGuy said:
You have already evolved beyond what your parents know
You know the drinking and fighting doesnt help

****. 
Wish I had those golden words inside of my brain, just waiting to come out!
😁
 
It's good that you shared. Usually when someone in my family bickered I just stayed in my room. That's all you can do, really.
 
Do you have headphones and/or earplugs? Preferably noise cancelling? If you do, use them. There's no reason you should have to listen to all that. Or is there maybe someone you can stay with for one night when they are like that?
 
It's really hard when people you love and live with are fighting.  That's very hard.   It is very normal to argue and disagree and yet I also know our emotions get so wrapped up in it!   I think we all want to fix it. Possibly staying out the verbal fight is a good idea unless you feel strongly that some kind of intervention is necessary.  Even though you aren't a part of the argument and you can't solve it, what are other ways you can help that might smooth things around the house?  Like going to your dad and mom separately  and asking them if there is anything you can do to help?  Maybe it's practical help around the house?  emotional support?  And maybe you could gently and lovingly encourage them to talk to each other.  If they can see your peaceful attitude, that could help.  Sounds like they are both hurting and/or tense about different issues and it's gotten explosive.  Potentially you could communicate  that you are there for them both and willing to help out if you can.  It seems like they are both really tense and a lot of things are going on with them and that you care and if there is something you could help with, you are willing. 

I'm sorry life is tense.

For yourself, be sure you get out and take a walk.  Spend time with friends.  Listen to upbeat music and try to find a release of some sort to help the tension overtake you as well.
I am a woman of faith in God and I pray a lot during times of stress and when I don't know what to do.

Wish you the very best!
 
Your family sounds A LOT like my family.
I avoided it up until I couldn't anymore.
At that point, I made the only choice that I had to make left.
I played the last card that I had.
I became a fighter, because trying to be a lover failed me.
It sucked at first, I'm not gonna lie, but eventually I got used to it.
I eventually found meaning in helping other people with similar problems in different places.
 
Sorry I didn't respond for a while.

My parents aren't yelling anymore.
Thank you for the advice and nice words.

I wish I could help people but I don't know what to say.
 
worthless_loser said:
I wish I could help people but I don't know what to say.

It's simple, really. Human compassion is such a rarity these days that unfortunately at first you'll be met with a bit of resistance until others see that you're actually being legitimately sincere.  You'll have to learn to realize that it's not something against you, but that the field you're working in, with trying to help people and with empathy that is, is an unfortunately very very small, kind of rare, dying sort of a field of study. It's a bit ironic if you think about it. People truly aren't that much different than other animals, but because our species is sentient, we so desperately want to draw a line between us and other animals. It's ironic, because people have pets, right? I've had 5 or 6 cats of my own, a couple dogs, and a snake in my past-- all of which I cared for quite deeply as my own kin. Finding what to say is the easy part, the hard part is typically finding how to say it...
 
I often make errors through the way I say things. A rule I have recently invented for myself is that if I don't know what to say, it's probably best that I say nothing. Cos when I force it, that's when I say something that makes me sound stupid or causes offence.
 

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