Lorne
Member
Hello.
I found this forum a few days ago from a Google search, and decided to sign up. I've read a few posts, but I haven't really been lurking much. So I don't know what this place is like, but I hope it's a nice community. I will introduce myself in this post.
I am male, 24 years old, and I live in south west London. I will not publicly post my name, so you can call me by the alias "Lorne".
I would describe myself as intelligent, kind, helpful, loyal, honest, serious, quiet, and shy. I'm very shy - it's actually probably more like social anxiety. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP (introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving).
I usually pass my time reading books, watching movies, TV shows, and anime, or playing video games; these things help keep me distracted. I like computers, science, and technology. I am a skilled programmer / software developer. I like learning new things. I like going for walks. I like animals. I like personality quizzes. I like helping people - I usually go out of my way to help people, even sacrificing spending time on important tasks of my own in order to help people with whatever they need.
I have been lonely and depressed for about six years now, since my first relationship ended. She was a bad girlfriend really, as she lied to me all the time, and treated me badly. Yet I still gave her a lot of love and treated her kindly. In the end she cheated on me with somebody and broke up with me. The break up hurt me a lot and was the initial cause of my depression, I believe. However, that depression has grown over time.
I have no friends. Not a single one. Actually, I've never had a real true friend. I've had a lot of people who I called friends, but they weren't really. They were more just acquaintances to hang around with, but not really friends - or maybe I have an unusual definition for friends? I think friends should be there for each other, help out, be loyal, be trustworthy and reliable, actually care about each other, etc. None of the friends I've ever had were like that, though. Most of them left my life for various reasons like moving away, and they never bothered to keep in touch or anything. They simply disappeared. I could find them and contact them, but it's been a long time and I don't care to make any effort when they weren't really friends in the first place.
There was one person who I thought was a good friend, and he was my best friend for a few years. We had a lot in common, we hung out together, worked together, played games together, helped each other with things, etc. Then he betrayed me in a way that I can never forgive. I discovered the truth accidentally by stumbling upon some evidence. It turned out that he was the one that my first girlfriend cheated on me with, and not only that, but he went behind my back, kept it a secret, constantly lied to me to cover it up, and became her boyfriend after she broke up with me, and all the while pretending to be my friend. Hahaha, isn't that pretty messed up? That's like something out of a soap opera or something, not something that happens in real life. Needless to say, I realised that he was a terrible person and not a friend, so I cut contact with him. He didn't make any effort whatsoever to talk about what he did, to explain it, or to try to remain friends with me. So clearly he didn't care.
Then I met a nice girl and had a second relationship, which lasted for a couple of years. She was a lot nicer than the first girl, and was always kind, understanding, and very honest. Or so I thought. She eventually broke up with me and revealed that she cheated on me way back around the start of our relationship and lied to me all throughout the relationship to cover it up. That was roughly a year ago now, and it was my last relationship.
That concludes my background story. People say that time heals all wounds, but I feel like none of those wounds have healed even the slightest bit.
My current situation is that I am very lonely and depressed, and the days are zooming past without me doing anything. I recently graduated from university with a first-class honours degree in Computer Science, but I don't feel anything at all from having achieved that. People act like it's something to be proud of, but it seems very meaningless to me. It isn't something that can bring me happiness. I should probably now look for a job, but I don't feel up to it, so I spend my time in isolation at home distracting myself with video games and the like.
I have zero friends, so nowadays I usually do not speak to anybody in an entire day. I feel like I could be happy again if I could just find a girl who would truly love me. Just a single person, is that so much to ask? Failing that, even just having a real friend would be nice. But on the other hand, after being hurt and betrayed so much by the people who were close to me, I'm not sure I should even try to get close to people again. Yet I feel lonely on my own.
So here I am. I found this forum by searching Google for "lonely forum". I suppose it would be nice to get to know people that are in a similar situation or feeling a similar way.
I found this forum a few days ago from a Google search, and decided to sign up. I've read a few posts, but I haven't really been lurking much. So I don't know what this place is like, but I hope it's a nice community. I will introduce myself in this post.
I am male, 24 years old, and I live in south west London. I will not publicly post my name, so you can call me by the alias "Lorne".
I would describe myself as intelligent, kind, helpful, loyal, honest, serious, quiet, and shy. I'm very shy - it's actually probably more like social anxiety. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP (introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving).
I usually pass my time reading books, watching movies, TV shows, and anime, or playing video games; these things help keep me distracted. I like computers, science, and technology. I am a skilled programmer / software developer. I like learning new things. I like going for walks. I like animals. I like personality quizzes. I like helping people - I usually go out of my way to help people, even sacrificing spending time on important tasks of my own in order to help people with whatever they need.
I have been lonely and depressed for about six years now, since my first relationship ended. She was a bad girlfriend really, as she lied to me all the time, and treated me badly. Yet I still gave her a lot of love and treated her kindly. In the end she cheated on me with somebody and broke up with me. The break up hurt me a lot and was the initial cause of my depression, I believe. However, that depression has grown over time.
I have no friends. Not a single one. Actually, I've never had a real true friend. I've had a lot of people who I called friends, but they weren't really. They were more just acquaintances to hang around with, but not really friends - or maybe I have an unusual definition for friends? I think friends should be there for each other, help out, be loyal, be trustworthy and reliable, actually care about each other, etc. None of the friends I've ever had were like that, though. Most of them left my life for various reasons like moving away, and they never bothered to keep in touch or anything. They simply disappeared. I could find them and contact them, but it's been a long time and I don't care to make any effort when they weren't really friends in the first place.
There was one person who I thought was a good friend, and he was my best friend for a few years. We had a lot in common, we hung out together, worked together, played games together, helped each other with things, etc. Then he betrayed me in a way that I can never forgive. I discovered the truth accidentally by stumbling upon some evidence. It turned out that he was the one that my first girlfriend cheated on me with, and not only that, but he went behind my back, kept it a secret, constantly lied to me to cover it up, and became her boyfriend after she broke up with me, and all the while pretending to be my friend. Hahaha, isn't that pretty messed up? That's like something out of a soap opera or something, not something that happens in real life. Needless to say, I realised that he was a terrible person and not a friend, so I cut contact with him. He didn't make any effort whatsoever to talk about what he did, to explain it, or to try to remain friends with me. So clearly he didn't care.
Then I met a nice girl and had a second relationship, which lasted for a couple of years. She was a lot nicer than the first girl, and was always kind, understanding, and very honest. Or so I thought. She eventually broke up with me and revealed that she cheated on me way back around the start of our relationship and lied to me all throughout the relationship to cover it up. That was roughly a year ago now, and it was my last relationship.
That concludes my background story. People say that time heals all wounds, but I feel like none of those wounds have healed even the slightest bit.
My current situation is that I am very lonely and depressed, and the days are zooming past without me doing anything. I recently graduated from university with a first-class honours degree in Computer Science, but I don't feel anything at all from having achieved that. People act like it's something to be proud of, but it seems very meaningless to me. It isn't something that can bring me happiness. I should probably now look for a job, but I don't feel up to it, so I spend my time in isolation at home distracting myself with video games and the like.
I have zero friends, so nowadays I usually do not speak to anybody in an entire day. I feel like I could be happy again if I could just find a girl who would truly love me. Just a single person, is that so much to ask? Failing that, even just having a real friend would be nice. But on the other hand, after being hurt and betrayed so much by the people who were close to me, I'm not sure I should even try to get close to people again. Yet I feel lonely on my own.
So here I am. I found this forum by searching Google for "lonely forum". I suppose it would be nice to get to know people that are in a similar situation or feeling a similar way.
Sounds like you've some pretty awful luck with people, especially girlfriends. Sorry to hear that. 
