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mattkoel

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Well I am new to this forum. Like everyone else I feel lonely every day. I go to work and socialize there but when I come home I have no friends and no real contact with anybody.
I have a 23 yr old son who goes to school in Florida but visits a lot. My dog and I like when he visits.
I'm 52 and pretty much lived a life in which I'm always less.
Try to meet people  and they are responsive when I am talking about their issues.  If I try to bring up the fact that I am a broken man then I am discarded.  People have time for others who want to help them but no time for others who need their help.
As a man trying to date after divorce last year, I've lost the ability to trust.
I have a lazy right eye that is the crux of why I am so isolated.
I totally get it because when people meet someone they want to be able to look into their eyes.  That isn't something I've ever had as any kind of benefit. People feel uncomfortable talking with me and I understand that.
I'm in the process of talking and getting surgery on my eye in the next month or so. On the one hand I feel like that is the reason for all of my social inadequacy fears.  I know that is the biggest reason why people have stayed away from me.
What I am afraid of most is if I fix this physical problem but the depression and mental status is to ingrained that it will be impossible to let go. I'm hoping I'm wrong about people.
I'm hoping that the old saying that what you give comes back to you will actually work out at some point.
Would be amazing to find a friend who actually wanted to talk and share life
 

Finished

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Welcome to the Forum! Fixing your eye will help. But, you are correct about people. They will pretend to be your friend, or at least tolerate you, IF you are listening to them, helping them, or making them feel comfortable some how. I had to finally stop helping others because it always becomes a one way street. I stay clear of people as best I can now. I think our government has gotten most people used to getting hand outs. So, everybody expects them now. Helping others without helping themselves too has become a lost art.
 

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Welcome to the forums :)
 

mattkoel

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Finished said:
Welcome to the Forum! Fixing your eye will help. But, you are correct about people. They will pretend to be your friend, or at least tolerate you, IF you are listening to them, helping them, or making them feel comfortable some how. I had to finally stop helping others because it always becomes a one way street. I stay clear of people as best I can now. I think our government has gotten most people used to getting hand outs. So, everybody expects them now. Helping others without helping themselves too has become a lost art.


Well if everyone is so horrible than what's the point.
Hell I would have thought a message board aimed
at lonely people might have created conversation but nope.
 

TheSkaFish

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mattkoel said:
Well I am new to this forum.

Welcome to the forum, Matt.

mattkoel said:
Try to meet people  and they are responsive when I am talking about their issues.  If I try to bring up the fact that I am a broken man then I am discarded.  People have time for others who want to help them but no time for others who need their help.

As a man trying to date after divorce last year, I've lost the ability to trust.

It seems to be a common problem these days - who knows, maybe it's always been a common issue. It is hard to find people who reciprocate with things like this. Anyway, sorry to hear you've been having these troubles. The current situation can't be helping matters, either.

mattkoel said:
Hell I would have thought a message board aimed at lonely people might have created conversation but nope.

Just give it a little time. Maybe participate in some threads, just share some random thoughts, or even play some games in the games section - anything. Very rarely do conversations start off right away in the intro threads. You have to take it slow, give it a chance.
 

Finished

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mattkoel said:
Finished said:
Welcome to the Forum! Fixing your eye will help. But, you are correct about people. They will pretend to be your friend, or at least tolerate you, IF you are listening to them, helping them, or making them feel comfortable some how. I had to finally stop helping others because it always becomes a one way street. I stay clear of people as best I can now. I think our government has gotten most people used to getting hand outs. So, everybody expects them now. Helping others without helping themselves too has become a lost art.


Well if everyone is so horrible than what's the point.
Hell I would have thought a message board aimed
at lonely people might have created conversation but nope.



What conversations are you expecting? Are you wanting a dis-honest or fantasy based discussion? Just mention that next time. There are a couple religious members that can help you with that.

But, I'll give it a try. Yes, people are wonderful. As soon as you fix your eye all your problems will be cured. It is super easy to make friends over 50. Older people are full of life and just getting started. They are ready to explore and flap their wings in the wondrous of this world with all the things they've never seen or experienced. They especially enjoy meeting new people and forming new groups of friends that they have zero history with. All you have to do is open the door to your closed off existence and allow your heart to soar like the eagles above. Is that what you are wanting to hear?
 

TheRealCallie

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You've been here less than a month and have four posts. How much conversation did you expect to get with the minimal posting you have done?

You requested a chat invite, but never came in. Did you have issues getting in? If so, just PM me and I'll try to help you through it.
 

Efbee

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mattkoel said:
Well I am new to this forum. Like everyone else I feel lonely every day. I go to work and socialize there but when I come home I have no friends and no real contact with anybody.
I have a 23 yr old son who goes to school in Florida but visits a lot. My dog and I like when he visits.
I'm 52 and pretty much lived a life in which I'm always less.
Try to meet people  and they are responsive when I am talking about their issues.  If I try to bring up the fact that I am a broken man then I am discarded.  People have time for others who want to help them but no time for others who need their help.
As a man trying to date after divorce last year, I've lost the ability to trust.
I have a lazy right eye that is the crux of why I am so isolated.
I totally get it because when people meet someone they want to be able to look into their eyes.  That isn't something I've ever had as any kind of benefit. People feel uncomfortable talking with me and I understand that.
I'm in the process of talking and getting surgery on my eye in the next month or so. On the one hand I feel like that is the reason for all of my social inadequacy fears.  I know that is the biggest reason why people have stayed away from me.
What I am afraid of most is if I fix this physical problem but the depression and mental status is to ingrained that it will be impossible to let go. I'm hoping I'm wrong about people.
I'm hoping that the old saying that what you give comes back to you will actually work out at some point.
Would be amazing to find a friend who actually wanted to talk and share life

We're about the same age, I'm 51.
You have the luck of having your son visit you. My children live 8000 miles away from me. Plus you have a dog to keep you company... Do you have any hobbies? What are they?
So you want to get back into the dating scene... You're courageous! How long were you married? I think you'll find the dating scene VERY different than back when you were dating, unless you were only married for 2 or 3 years, then scratch that.
Personally, I wouldn't even try to date. The dynamics between Men and Women have changed so much that I don't think I could cope with the BS of trying to date. I'm happy being on my own. I'm on this forum for the conversations, not to find a woman. I was married twice and both times it went to shit so I think I can take the hint. I'm not husband material or boyfriend material. I'm just some random guy no one pays attention to... that's really nice. At least I can live in peace.
About your lazy eye: It is not the problem as far as socializing is concerned. Yes, it may disturb a few, but everyone? Fixing that may help a bit but it won't do miracles. Today's society is all messed up and people are rather selfish and inconsiderate, much much more now than 20yrs ago. If you don't have anything they're interested in they won't give you the time of day. OH sure you may end up chatting with someone at a pub or bus stop but that's as far as it will go. 
My advice: make the best with what you got and learn to appreciate your alone time. 
If you need someone to talk to, send me a pm and we can talk on Discord. 
good luck to you. Enjoy your life because no one will do it for you :)
 

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