Not attracted to women my age

[ardour]

I’ve found through life that 25 seems to be the age bracket I’m most attracted to.

At 18 it was appealing because they were older than me, experienced in the world of grown-ups and more mature.

At 25 they were my age.

Now into my early 30s, when women my own age are spitting out brats, or whose idea of a Saturday is lounging around watching Netflix, I find myself again looking at 25 year olds. I have a tonne of energy, still love to party and do anything outdoors.

Imagine how much worse it is mid 40s. Society may as well start building retirement villages for the middle aged. Uber eats, Netflix, or a pint down the local is it. It's so boring being around my 'peoples' puts me into a depressive mood.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Thread needs some comedy.

 

[sub5male]

Imagine how much worse it is mid 40s. Society may as well start building retirement villages for the middle aged. Uber eats, Netflix, or a pint down the local is it. It's so boring being around my 'peoples' puts me into a depressive mood.

This short video addresses the issues which you are pondering:

 

[insecure]

This short video addresses the issues which you are pondering:

I don't think this video really addresses these issues.
Sure, the novelty factor gets lost as you age, but what has that got to do with being attracted to younger women?
Assuming you did have a relationship with a 25 year old before, you could on the contrary deduce from the video that now you certainly don't want a 25 year old anymore, because that would not be a novel experience.
You've been there, you've done that.
The video also seems to assume that you have had your fair share of every experience in life, which might not be the case.
Because I had so many doubts about my sexual orientation, and felt guilty about it, I did not engage in many relationships, nor did I have sex with 25 year olds.
So on the contrary having sex with a 25 year old would be a new experience to me.

The video seems more like about people not finding their current relationships / life experiences interesting anymore, because they have seen and experienced them countless times before.
That is something completely different than wanting to be with a younger partner.

 

[sub5male]

The video seems more like about people not finding their current relationships / life experiences interesting anymore, because they have seen and experienced them countless times before.
That is something completely different than wanting to be with a younger partner.

Is it though? The point is that having a younger partner may be quite a high for a while but if it does happen to last, it will soon turn into just another daily routine. Personally I tend to find younger people far more relatable than those who are in my own age group but even then I only relate to a tiny fraction of people of any age.

As I have aged I have been taught the hard way that pretty much everything is just a distraction from the existential nihilism of the human condition. Life is of course less unpleasant when you have someone to share experiences with but many men, myself included, are not fortunate enough have this available to us so need to find copes in other area's to distract from the utlimate meaninglessness of our existence.

 

[user 190541]

Is it though? The point is that having a younger partner may be quite a high for a while but if it does happen to last, it will soon turn into just another daily routine. Personally I tend to find younger people far more relatable than those who are in my own age group but even then I only relate to a tiny fraction of people of any age.

As I have aged I have been taught the hard way that pretty much everything is just a distraction from the existential nihilism of the human condition. Life is of course less unpleasant when you have someone to share experiences with but many men, myself included, are not fortunate enough have this available to us so need to find copes in other area's to distract from the utlimate meaninglessness of our existence.

 

[abbynormal]

i've long had a thing for older womens, they seem more understanding/giving, and more pleasingly zaftig.

 

[sub5male]

This is an interesting meme which compares the psychological condition of depressive realism vs the bias of toxic positivity. When people have good success in life they tend to be more positive because of their survivorship bias while people who have experienced a lot of failure and rejection tend to see reality more accurately due to their suffering.

 

[abbynormal]

depressed people seem more aware of the true [but commonly glossed over] faults of life. when a fella is living the life of riley they haven't got time or attention for such, depressed people tend to have more time to notice.

 

[user 190541]

This is an interesting meme which compares the psychological condition of depressive realism vs the bias of toxic positivity. When people have good success in life they tend to be more positive because of their survivorship bias while people who have experienced a lot of failure and rejection tend to see reality more accurately due to their suffering.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

This is an interesting meme which compares the psychological condition of depressive realism vs the bias of toxic positivity. When people have good success in life they tend to be more positive because of their survivorship bias while people who have experienced a lot of failure and rejection tend to see reality more accurately due to their suffering.

I'm a bastardized splice of the dichotomy of the two.
I know, I just don't care, only I'm not dancing.
I find feeling to be an unfortunate side effect of being born a mortal man.
I lean more towards Schopenhauer mostly due to familiarity, but for that matter I also don't totally hate Marx, either. I do however, hate both Stalin and Hitler.
Genghis Khan did it better. But even that is wishy-washy.
Genghis Khan is one of two men in history I can think of who just kept rolling 20's. The other being Mansa Musa. Random anomalies. lol.

 

[insecure]

Genghis Khan did it better. But even that is wishy-washy.
Genghis Khan is one of two men in history I can think of who just kept rolling 20's. The other being Mansa Musa. Random anomalies. lol.

What did he do better?
Murdering lots of people and raping lots of women for the conquest of land?
I don't understand how anyone can morally justify this.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

This is an interesting meme which compares the psychological condition of depressive realism vs the bias of toxic positivity. When people have good success in life they tend to be more positive because of their survivorship bias while people who have experienced a lot of failure and rejection tend to see reality more accurately due to their suffering.

"Toxic positivity?" That's not even a thing, man. And if there is a an authoritative source on the term and it's meaning, that can be cited... My goodness..

Happy people are happy and thinking and feeling happy stuff because events caused them to be happy. That's elementary and trivial.

Being perpetually bummed out doesn't give granted virtue and superior reality perceiving abilities and reasoning. There is Vedanta, Taoism, Buddhism, Spinoza, Bertrand Russel, Carl Sagan. Plenty of intellectual thought on the subject of reality, through-out history.

It's more likely that being perpetually in despair, is going to distort reality far further, or at least, no more or no less than being, 'happy.'

I'd wager a fair bit, their are happy fools and despondent idiots, just alike; no matter their intellectual fitness.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

What did he do better?
Murdering lots of people and raping lots of women for the conquest of land?
I don't understand how anyone can morally justify this.

I think you're missing the point.
If you have three ********, does it really matter which ******* it is?
No, it doesn't.

 

[ardour]

Is it though? The point is that having a younger partner may be quite a high for a while but if it does happen to last, it will soon turn into just another daily routine. Personally I tend to find younger people far more relatable than those who are in my own age group but even then I only relate to a tiny fraction of people of any age.

As I have aged I have been taught the hard way that pretty much everything is just a distraction from the existential nihilism of the human condition. Life is of course less unpleasant when you have someone to share experiences with but many men, myself included, are not fortunate enough have this available to us so need to find copes in other area's to distract from the utlimate meaninglessness of our existence.

No offence but I've noticed nihilism is a common cope romantically unsuccessful men use to feel better about their situation. Like claiming you never cared about all those parties you weren't invited to.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

No offence but I've noticed nihilism is a common cope romantically unsuccessful men use to feel better about their situation. Like claiming you never cared about all those parties you weren't invited to.

It's called, "sour grapes," or for the psychologically inclined, the perhaps related, "cognitive dissonance."

From the fable, "The Fox and The Grapes."

"Common cope?" I'm not a grammar specialist; but, I think, 'cope,' is only a verb, not a noun. "Compensating," though not very technical a term, would probably be more accurate and possibly more grammatically correct. As in, "She carries a small purse to compensate for her big ego."

or

"...Men, who are unsuccessful romantically, often compensate by taking up nihilistic positions and view points..."

Having sour grapes is a pretty common phenomena. Intellectualizing can be a common way of compensating for lack of whatever and what have you. I do it quite often... heh..

--edit: and cope can be a noun... I still think good old fashion compensation beats woo-woo-new-age-psychobabble any day of the week though.

Now who wants a hug?

--edit #2: ahh, but, 'to cope,' as a verb, is not the same as the various definitions of, 'cope,' the noun!

 

[Unsigned]

"...Men, who are unsuccessful romantically, often compensate by taking up nihilistic positions and view points..."

People are strange
When you're a stranger
Faces look ugly
When you're alone

Women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
Streets are uneven
When you're down

- Jim Morrison.

And it's true. I've always been a stranger/alone.

 

[sub5male]

"Toxic positivity?" That's not even a thing, man. And if there is a an authoritative source on the term and it's meaning, that can be cited... My goodness..

Happy people are happy and thinking and feeling happy stuff because events caused them to be happy. That's elementary and trivial.

Being perpetually bummed out doesn't give granted virtue and superior reality perceiving abilities and reasoning. There is Vedanta, Taoism, Buddhism, Spinoza, Bertrand Russel, Carl Sagan. Plenty of intellectual thought on the subject of reality, through-out history.

It's more likely that being perpetually in despair, is going to distort reality far further, or at least, no more or no less than being, 'happy.'

I'd wager a fair bit, their are happy fools and despondent idiots, just alike; no matter their intellectual fitness.

From Psychology Today:

"Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead. Although setting aside difficult emotions is sometimes necessary temporarily, denying negative feelings long term is harmful because it can prevent people from processing their emotions and overcoming their distress."

In my own experience, it is reality itself which can often drive depression rather than the other way around-especially for the very long term lonely.

 

[sub5male]

No offence but I've noticed nihilism is a common cope romantically unsuccessful men use to feel better about their situation. Like claiming you never cared about all those parties you weren't invited to.

I would not label nihilism as a cope but instead as an insight which is experienced by people who have had a lifetime of failure & disapointment. Some of us don't care about parties or most social events as the goal is not to be come popular but to find even a single non-superficial connection with another human.

 

[user 190541]

Nihilism is an idea people entertain when they're well-fed and bored. Take away the food and/or add in a challenge, a difficulty, something that absolutely must be overcome and all nihilism will in effect quickly disappear.