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Old issue arises in new relationship

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mate02

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[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I've always been pretty tight for money. I only got my first job at age 17.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was in a relationship before I got that job, and my girlfriend at the time had a job herself. It killed me watching her go to work every weekend, and all the things she could do with the money she earnt, whilst I was stuck with whatever coins I had lying around in my room. Eventually, I cracked. The stress of not having a job, and finishing school shortly got too much for me, and I said some stupid things about how hard it was to witness her go off and work whilst I did nothing, she got really upset, but never told me until we broke up a few days later.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now I'm in a new relationship. We have been going out for a while now, but I've basically just lost my job (because I'm 19, they see me as being too expensive to pay, and give me no shifts anymore), and I've become really stressed out now. I'm trying to get Centrelink payments, but my girlfriend thinks because I live with my parents I won't get those payments. I'm constantly trying to get a new job, but it seems that no one wants to hire me, and there aren't many jobs going in my area. Its really stressing me out, because I now have no income once again, but its worse now because I have finished school and I'm in the real world. She works four days a week now, and I'm kind of feeling the same way as before; struggling to watch her go and work all the time. I try to distract myself, but there is only so much I can do.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I'm really worried that I am going to do or say something stupid that could jeopardise our relationship. I really love this girl, and I really want things to work with us, and for us to have a future together. I know she feels the same way, which is why I'm trying as hard as I can not to stuff up.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Does anyone have any advice???[/font]
 

Broken heart

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mate02 said:
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I've always been pretty tight for money. I only got my first job at age 17.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was in a relationship before I got that job, and my girlfriend at the time had a job herself. It killed me watching her go to work every weekend, and all the things she could do with the money she earnt, whilst I was stuck with whatever coins I had lying around in my room. Eventually, I cracked. The stress of not having a job, and finishing school shortly got too much for me, and I said some stupid things about how hard it was to witness her go off and work whilst I did nothing, she got really upset, but never told me until we broke up a few days later.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now I'm in a new relationship. We have been going out for a while now, but I've basically just lost my job (because I'm 19, they see me as being too expensive to pay, and give me no shifts anymore), and I've become really stressed out now. I'm trying to get Centrelink payments, but my girlfriend thinks because I live with my parents I won't get those payments. I'm constantly trying to get a new job, but it seems that no one wants to hire me, and there aren't many jobs going in my area. Its really stressing me out, because I now have no income once again, but its worse now because I have finished school and I'm in the real world. She works four days a week now, and I'm kind of feeling the same way as before; struggling to watch her go and work all the time. I try to distract myself, but there is only so much I can do.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I'm really worried that I am going to do or say something stupid that could jeopardise our relationship. I really love this girl, and I really want things to work with us, and for us to have a future together. I know she feels the same way, which is why I'm trying as hard as I can not to stuff up.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Does anyone have any advice???[/font]
I want to tell you that you are very courageous to talk aboit this. It really means you want to make things better.

This is a very tough place to be. Because it also involves things only you can judge.
 For eg the number and kind of jobs available where you live might not be the same where I live etc.

And having a job is a big part of self fullfilment.

My advice to you may seem silly. But I firmly believe in it. I think since you have some time now study something online. While it may or may not directly help u find a job, it will help in:
1-keeping you busy so your brain will have some better things to do than maybe have a fight with gf and saying things u regret

And 2 it does help with one's self worth
Believe me. I know.

I have a tiny online business that does make some money but would have made tons more except for my country's laws and regulations have taxes that kill you.

I am also studying sthg online for free.

U can find many things online even free. 
Who knows maybe u can even open ur own online small business.

I hope you find answers and help
 

I'm Fine

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Some good ideas from Broken Heart there. I would like to add a couple of my own, if I may.

Are there any chores around her place (if possible) that you can do for her to show her that you appreciate her going out to work. Something SHE would normally have to do but that you can do instead to free up some time for you two to be together. That all depends upon where she lives, of course.

Also - have you considered trying for a volunteer job. Ok, you don't get paid but it looks good on the CV and shows potential employers that you're willing to work.

Hope you find something.
 

DeSenseo

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One thing that I did when I was young was ask a lot of people for advice especially those who work in the same field as my course in college. Relatives, neighbors, pastors, business owners. They can give you some direction and things and possibilities you may not have thought of before. Try to control your anger about being unable to find work. It is not your fault and certainly not others’ fault, but you need to keep your cool because it sends the wrong message. Keep searching, keep applying and never give up.
 

ricardo240

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I think you can:
1. Tell her you love her ... When it's not connected to physical intimacy.
2. Tell her she's beautiful... when her hair is a mess, when she has an acne outbreak, and when she least expects it.
 

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