What I'm about to say applies to me as much as it does for anyone else on this site. It was a little hard for me to write as I had to face my own demons and I'm sure there's plenty I could've added or outlined better.
We each have our situations to endure, issues to cope with and challenges to overcome. Often we feel hopeless, useless, despondent and even in utter despair where it feels like we can only take the final alternative. We can't see a way out. We think that other people don't understand OUR complex situation, because, you know, they're not living OUR life.
"Yes, yes, you have it difficult too and blah blah blah, but MY situation is just so, so, ARRRRGH, you just don't get it."
Or so it may feel to us. But the truth is, (barring of course serious mental illness where we can't even function effectively enough to even communication coherently with a fellow human being, and I assume those who are writing up their situations on here have at least that much cognitive function and so can appreciate what I'm saying) often we are causing our own problems. We are making things difficult for ourselves. Sure we have all this STUFF that makes our lives so horrid, but if we take an honest close look at ourselves, at what we're doing or not doing, we'll start to realise that we're doing so much to our own selves that we're going to be stuck in our situation until we either change our current habits or take that final alternative, which you really shouldn't take because you have a right to your life. Nothing should force you to take that option.
"So what am I doing to myself? How am I to blame? Why is it my fault? Tell me what to DO!"
We ask people for advice, help, ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and people often provide, but we read, hear, understand what they provide, and then, then nothing. We don't do anything different. We continue to wallow in our self pity, we continue to do what we've been doing for so long, we dismiss and argue and mock and be condescending to all those that have provided an answer to what we sought. And why do we do that? We're lazy. We're in a comfort zone. We're too angry. We're too weak. We're too cynical. We're too obnoxious. We're too proud. We're too scared. And a whole bunch of other things that we could put forth.
But nobody else can do it for you. Nobody can grant you that wish that will make it all better. Nobody can provide you friends or a partner or the job or house you want. Only you can make that change in yourself. There are enough tools already available on the internet and IRL for you to learn skills in communication, or assertiveness, or confidence, or whatever, but you have to be willing to take the chance to try. Get moving. Get out there. Interact with other people in various social circles. Make connections. If you have no friends, well you can't make less friends, so there's only gains to be make if you put in the effort. Start small and grow. Give yourself the chance to try. It doesn't matter how many times you try. You just have to try more.
"It's not worth the effort."
Yes it is. You know it is because of the situation you don't want to be in right now. Make your life meaningful. Give yourself a chance. Maybe you'll make someone else's life meaningful in the meantime. As I said at the start; this applies to me as it does for anyone else. I needed to hear myself say it. I can lay plenty of blame on others for my situation, but in the end, I have to be the one that is responsible for the rest of my life.
Take responsibility. Take chances.
Oh btw, @Bam111 has some very interesting links to videos here, some of which relate to how we think and use our brains.
We each have our situations to endure, issues to cope with and challenges to overcome. Often we feel hopeless, useless, despondent and even in utter despair where it feels like we can only take the final alternative. We can't see a way out. We think that other people don't understand OUR complex situation, because, you know, they're not living OUR life.
"Yes, yes, you have it difficult too and blah blah blah, but MY situation is just so, so, ARRRRGH, you just don't get it."
Or so it may feel to us. But the truth is, (barring of course serious mental illness where we can't even function effectively enough to even communication coherently with a fellow human being, and I assume those who are writing up their situations on here have at least that much cognitive function and so can appreciate what I'm saying) often we are causing our own problems. We are making things difficult for ourselves. Sure we have all this STUFF that makes our lives so horrid, but if we take an honest close look at ourselves, at what we're doing or not doing, we'll start to realise that we're doing so much to our own selves that we're going to be stuck in our situation until we either change our current habits or take that final alternative, which you really shouldn't take because you have a right to your life. Nothing should force you to take that option.
"So what am I doing to myself? How am I to blame? Why is it my fault? Tell me what to DO!"
We ask people for advice, help, ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and people often provide, but we read, hear, understand what they provide, and then, then nothing. We don't do anything different. We continue to wallow in our self pity, we continue to do what we've been doing for so long, we dismiss and argue and mock and be condescending to all those that have provided an answer to what we sought. And why do we do that? We're lazy. We're in a comfort zone. We're too angry. We're too weak. We're too cynical. We're too obnoxious. We're too proud. We're too scared. And a whole bunch of other things that we could put forth.
But nobody else can do it for you. Nobody can grant you that wish that will make it all better. Nobody can provide you friends or a partner or the job or house you want. Only you can make that change in yourself. There are enough tools already available on the internet and IRL for you to learn skills in communication, or assertiveness, or confidence, or whatever, but you have to be willing to take the chance to try. Get moving. Get out there. Interact with other people in various social circles. Make connections. If you have no friends, well you can't make less friends, so there's only gains to be make if you put in the effort. Start small and grow. Give yourself the chance to try. It doesn't matter how many times you try. You just have to try more.
"It's not worth the effort."
Yes it is. You know it is because of the situation you don't want to be in right now. Make your life meaningful. Give yourself a chance. Maybe you'll make someone else's life meaningful in the meantime. As I said at the start; this applies to me as it does for anyone else. I needed to hear myself say it. I can lay plenty of blame on others for my situation, but in the end, I have to be the one that is responsible for the rest of my life.
Take responsibility. Take chances.
Oh btw, @Bam111 has some very interesting links to videos here, some of which relate to how we think and use our brains.
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