Overcoming falling in love without communication

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Her

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I'm sorry to pour out such a long 'introduction' topic on you, but I actually need feedback on this in the hope that it will help me put this story behind me as I think I'm supposed to. It ended up making me feel like a reject and a fool who didn't even deserve an honest and rational response to deal with.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zvdgGz5ooWkf_Ul_3c3Q1sfuZ8Sm5HSG/view

Now I absolutely must distract myself, am trying to make contact with new people because I'm really lonely at the moment and I've found a few guys to go walking and hiking with; I haven't met them yet, but the idea actually bores me right away (besides social anxiety), as if I foresee that they will be mediocre acquaintances, which will have nothing to do with the affection I was looking for in that man. I am afraid that it was my last chance to experience that kind of falling in love, which although uncommon, or insane, has a huge and deep potential for me.
 
You need a whole bunch of friends who tell you that he is a dick.

I suspect he was using you for intellectual reasons. He crossed the line with you. He shouldn't have been having deep emotional conversations with you unless it was in a clinical setting.

anxiety sucks

I hope you find lots of distractions.... this place is good for distractions... there is a chat room and lots of games to play for a laugh

welcome
 

thank you for reading the whole thing and saying something. since I couldn't tell anyone I felt crazier than ever. I don't even know what I want to hear. you know your comment made me anxious/excited for a moment but I appreciated it.
it's so sad to realize that certain small things would really have a huge power to make you feel better, and yet they don't happen.
 
thank you for reading the whole thing and saying something. since I couldn't tell anyone I felt crazier than ever. I don't even know what I want to hear. you know your comment made me anxious/excited for a moment but I appreciated it.
it's so sad to realize that certain small things would really have a huge power to make you feel better, and yet they don't happen.
sorry, I didn't intend to cause anxiety

I have anxiety and it's hard to navigate a day trying to minimize it to maximize what you can get done

Or do something that includes anxiety and have to accept that you will essentially lose the day.

They didn't tell us this in highschool.

again... welcome
 
If I understand correctly, you began a long-distance, written, correspondence, with a professional, concerning matters of your health, and subsequently began to have romantic feelings for this person?

Just speaking from my own experience, I've been in love with some one, long distance, who i only ever communicated with via text. I never heard their voice, never saw their face, only shared instant messages, e-mails, and a small number of hand-written letters.

For several years, I was quite in-love with this person; but, if I really assessed the situation with a clear mind, it was totally unrealistic and quite nearly impossible, for it to turn out, in the way I was hoping.

At the very best, I may have actually met them; and that may not have turned out well. I could have been stark raving mad, in-love, with some one, who, if they were sensible, would be meeting me in a public place, for the first meet, just for their own safety, in case I turned out to be some random weirdo from the internet. lol. I may have been a very daunting prospect for some one to gradually, 'get to know,' and, 'feel out.'

So...

It's okay to have the feelings you've had. I would say, be grateful for them. But, I'd also suggest you temper your circumstances with a little dose of reality. You said, this person is a long-distance e-mail correspondence. You said you currently have a boy-friend...

We all need a little bit of delusion and fantasy in our lives; I believe that. We do it when we watch films, read books, have crushes on celebrities, etc.. etc.. But, some times, you have to step back, and take a few breaths of reality; we all have to come up for some air, or a fantasy can drown us.

It sounds like you are attempting to do that, by distancing yourself from this individual; but, I would say, step back, and really examine it, for what it was/is, an unrequited-love, or an unresolved romantic interest, quite potentially a very unrealistic one, coming from a place of vulnerability.

Those types of things will always be painful, and there are many circumstances in life where we will get no answers, and feel we are being driven quite mad by the questions in our minds. However, a distorted picture of reality can make monsters out of mere shadows.

Try to quiet your mind, be still, reflect, be creative and stay a little busy, and seek to nurture that side of yourself that desires to love and be loved, so that, if the chance presents itself, you will be ready to do so, and if the chance remains illusive, you will be able to express that part of yourself in other loving ways.

Say farewell, in your own way, just for you, if you need to, and let time do it's thing.
 
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If I understand correctly ...

Thank you for reading and for your thoughtfulness and time in responding to me.

I don't understand why he didn't make things easier for me and instead remained, and left me, in this disconcerting suspension.

The disheartening feeling here is that I have to give up so many important things at once ...

I'd rather suffer with imagination than accept a too empty life? i don't know.

However yes, now I'm trying to distract myself and create something.. Thanks again.
 

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