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Cherubino

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"fake compliments for fake colors" (nothing personal intended) ... now you make me to apologize after pushing me into depression ... it's all your fault
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Okay men… change of pace!

Is it okay to be mad at a man if he compliments you on things that arent really you? Like how much he loves my blue eyes when he knows they are just contacts or how hot my blonde hair is… idk… I always feel so low when that happens 🥺

Eeeehhh, I wouldn't say be mad at him about it, because he isn't just suddenly in your head, reading your mind and knowing why you changed up your aesthetics. You might want to try actually explaining why you do it to him though so that he understands why you do it. If thereafter he still does it, okay then yeah, then he's just being a jackass and yes be mad at him about it. But like if he doesn't know, he doesn't know. Nobody just knows things, because if we did than we wouldn't learn anything, and that would make life really boring, really fast.
 

user15010

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Okay men… change of pace!

Is it okay to be mad at a man if he compliments you on things that arent really you? Like how much he loves my blue eyes when he knows they are just contacts or how hot my blonde hair is… idk… I always feel so low when that happens 🥺
Yes!
 
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The new manager has taken an interest in my personal life though, which is bizarre as I've never experienced that. First she suggested I ask out one of the girls at the service desk who are all student age, then after I let the cat out of bag about my age, tried to set me up with a woman I'm on friendly terms with in the next office within earshot of the discussion ...who luckily had headphones on.
Befriend this woman!!!! Buy her sugary treats. Do anything you can to make her happy. This woman will get you a girlfriend and laid. Don't over think this one! God has heard your cries and sent this woman to help you out. Things like this do NOT happen very often. Take advantage of it!
 
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Okay men… change of pace!

Is it okay to be mad at a man if he compliments you on things that arent really you? Like how much he loves my blue eyes when he knows they are just contacts or how hot my blonde hair is… idk… I always feel so low when that happens 🥺
That is a great question. You are SUPER smart! Ha! ha! :)
 
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Okay men… change of pace!

Is it okay to be mad at a man if he compliments you on things that arent really you? Like how much he loves my blue eyes when he knows they are just contacts or how hot my blonde hair is… idk… I always feel so low when that happens 🥺
So, I used to compliment women when I saw their picture. I would say, Wow! You are really pretty. Now, instead, I say, Wow! That picture looks great!
 
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CenotaphGirl

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Okay okay men.... so you think you're done with me? Never!

It's late, around 9pm... you are tired from work and your return home to see that your girlfriend has set up a super romantic night, candles, food, mood lighting... do you...

a) Brave it, she went to soo much effort, try and enjoy the night and act like you aren't even a little bit tired
b) Explain work was very hard, you need to get some rest.
c) Pretend to sleep like a toxic nutter.
d) Other? Do tell?
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Okay okay men.... so you think you're done with me? Never!

I love my A.M. Q&A. 😍

It's late, around 9pm... you are tired from work and your return home to see that your girlfriend has set up a super romantic night, candles, food, mood lighting... do you...

a) Brave it, she went to soo much effort, try and enjoy the night and act like you aren't even a little bit tired
b) Explain work was very hard, you need to get some rest.
c) Pretend to sleep like a toxic nutter.
d) Other? Do tell?

A & B together.
I usually don't each lunches at work, despite my long shifts.
Unless I'm like legitimately hurting and physically fatigued from doing physical labor on no food.
So I'd actually be appreciative of the effort, even though I'm really not used to that anymore and it'd probably be a little awkward a first because I'm not used to it anymore. But nevertheless, I'd be quite grateful.
I think casual such dates are actually kind of important with long term relationships, and that people don't really do them enough, or if they do than they eventually fall out of them having merit due to it becoming routine. Like don't cook for me every night, but once in a while and yeah, it'll keep up my appreciation for it. Food is mostly just food to me, but a proper intimate conversation with your s/o is kind of important, and there's probably no other time a man really needs that than when he's had his ass absolutely kicked at work.
Physical fatigue is physical fatigue, no matter which way you cut it, but during physical fatigue, having some kind of an emotional connection if only just to know that somebody else cares is kind of important.
 

Claudia1794

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Sorry, I have to chime in because I’ve been in this situation and the lesson learned from it was...call him before you plan anything and try to get an idea how his day is going because if you want both of you to enjoy it it’s better to take that little extra step. Yeah something could happen between the time you talk to him and when he gets home but I learned years ago that the simple things really matter.
 

TheSkaFish

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Befriend this woman!!!! Buy her sugary treats. Do anything you can to make her happy. This woman will get you a girlfriend and laid. Don't over think this one! God has heard your cries and sent this woman to help you out. Things like this do NOT happen very often. Take advantage of it!

Dude @ardour I second this motion. If you like the woman she's trying to set you up with, you might as well give her a chance.

Like Finished said, don't overthink this one (I am the king of overthinking, I know), life doesn't often give out chances like this, so you might as well take advantage of it.
 

TheSkaFish

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So, I used to compliment women when I saw there picture. I would say, Wow! You are really pretty. Now, instead, I say, Wow! That picture looks great!

I try to avoid compliments that have to do with looks altogether, because I feel that leads to an imbalance of power, it leads to a dynamic where she is like a celebrity, and you are like just another one of her fans - good for compliments, ego boosts, and validation, but that's it - you're held to that distance. You're limited to being an acquaintance, rather than a person she feels has the potential for a true deep-level connection.

I've unfortunately learned the hard way that all the sweetness in the world isn't worth diddly-jack, if you can't be a protector/provider, or if you can't impress, interest, or excite the woman about you. Comments about looks/sexuality, or niceness/sweetness, don't seem to count for anything unless the woman already likes you or holds you in high regard - which requires thinking, saying, doing, living your life in a way that allows you to be a person, that she would hold in high regard.

I don't want to be viewed as an orbiter, or a peasant. I want to be seen as an equal or nothing. I'm not in life to be used for ego boosts, emotional support, or validation, and I'm not in life to get looked down on.

If I give compliments, I try to give them about an interest she has that I like, or an idea that I agree with or think is thoughtful, or something about her that I think is cool, or something like that. I try to compliment the mind and personality more. I feel like complimenting the body doesn't get you anywhere, and in fact gets you somewhere you DON'T want to be.
 
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TheSkaFish

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Okay men… change of pace!

Is it okay to be mad at a man if he compliments you on things that arent really you? Like how much he loves my blue eyes when he knows they are just contacts or how hot my blonde hair is… idk… I always feel so low when that happens 🥺

I don't know if it's so bad to be honest. Like a lot of things, I feel like the context matters.

He could just be complimenting the work you put into your style, similar to complimenting you on your outfit, like how well you're pulling off a certain look. It's kind of like saying, "hey, the look you're going for, you really nailed it."

BUT if it bothers you, you should say so. Then, if he keeps doing it anyway, you know there's a problem.
 

TheSkaFish

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Okay okay men.... so you think you're done with me? Never!

It's late, around 9pm... you are tired from work and your return home to see that your girlfriend has set up a super romantic night, candles, food, mood lighting... do you...

a) Brave it, she went to soo much effort, try and enjoy the night and act like you aren't even a little bit tired
b) Explain work was very hard, you need to get some rest.
c) Pretend to sleep like a toxic nutter.
d) Other? Do tell?

I guess a), Brave it. Food always brings me back to life, from a zombie state.

I'm sure I'll perk up after I feast like a beast! You might have to look the other way at some bad table manners, though.
 

Rohini

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What kind of man wouldn't appreciate a woman cooking a meal for him? I've literally never heard of such a thing. Especially after work - they should be on bended-knee thanking us... lol I'm kidding. But, I've never met a man unappreciative regarding a home-cooked meal. 9pm, 10pm or midnight.

Truth be told, men love to be taken care of in this regard. It builds on the gratitude.
 

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