Questions for the Men

[TheSkaFish]

* I hate, loath, despise all these silly frigging games, the dance of courtship, which we must endure. Fussing, faffing, and frigging frills.

That goes double for me. I could do without the push-pull, hot-cold, do-they-really-like-me-or-not games.
I just want to be on my way to somewhere.

 

[Colster]

Sir Richard Richard, had a wonderful approach to dating:

"Hello my dear, I'm the Duke of Kidderminster, that's a smashing blouse you have on. Polo? " - "I'll just be upstairs scraping off the sheets, I'll see you in a sex mo!"

 

[Adamridge79]

So that whole thread never gained any traction or direction. Sounds solid

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm in love with you. What's next?

At least you’re able to admit unlike some… who wish they could carry me back to their cave and have me cook the fish… and steaks

I hate bad food so I'd have to go to another of my women for me tea ... probably take the wine with me if it's that good too

And they said chivalry was dead…

Eat it anyway?
It's free food that someone put an effort into.
Plus, I'm not that picky of an eater.
Salt, Pepper and basic spices can be used to easily doctor something up to make it more palatable.
I have a surprisingly strong stomach.
Alternatively I can ration the wine out to wash it down.
I don't overthink food, it's food.
If someone does something uncharacteristic spontaneously like if she cooks suddenly when she normally doesn't, I'm honestly gonna be a little more concerned about why she did that. Like, you okay??

You are better than me mate! But in all honesty… men are easier I could banter with him and cook it my way and he’d just laugh it off 9/10 …

Initial thoughts are to feed her to the food blender.

Truthfully, be honest but politely. There's no need to be Gordon Ramsay. Although, be wary about making excuses, as you might find that these have a habit of coming back at you; she serves the same dish again, and again!

Chances are, it will momentarily annoy or offend her. Sorry for the generalisation, but every woman who I have dated, always made such a fuss about their cooking. Each demanding to be regarded as a master chef.

Therefore, it is essential to point out to your date, that being honest upon this occasion, they will know that your other compliments are genuine, and subsequently pay her a compliment.

* I hate, loath, despise all these silly frigging games, the dance of courtship, which we must endure. Fussing, faffing, and frigging frills. If by this stage in a relationship, you aren't busy bumping ugly and watching childish comedy, then I strongly recommend using the food blender or perhaps just leaving, assuming you can't find the blender.

I 100% agree even though i thought you was gonna say you’d save it for your dog lolz

 

[ardour]

Right! You men of mischief... want a light hearted question...?

I'll set the scene... it's 7pm, 5th date and she's cooked! You know... at her place But the food is disgusting... like it's all bad, flavours and textures are wayyy off. Only thing you enjoy is the wine... what would you do?...

Drink most of the wine to wash it down with.

I can't really cook (except for some cobbled together Dal or baked veges), so I can't really judge her for this.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Drink most of the wine to wash it down with.

I can't really cook (except for some cobbled together Dal or baked veges), so I can't really her for this.

Omg you are a brave man

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

You are better than me mate! But in all honesty… men are easier I could banter with him and cook it my way and he’d just laugh it off 9/10

I suck in a kitchen, so who am I to judge? I've mostly worked 9 - 12 hour shifts, and after a 12 hour day, you really don't wanna wait another 20+ minutes for food, you know? So for most of my life cheap takeout was budgeted in, or cheap, quick, easy to clean dinners with instructions on boxes. Cooking is an art and a science, one that I understand but I'm not particularly good at. So because of that, I'm humbled and easily accepting without judgment.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I suck in a kitchen, so who am I to judge? I've mostly worked 9 - 12 hour shifts, and after a 12 hour day, you really don't wanna wait another 20+ minutes for food, you know? So for most of my life cheap takeout was budgeted in, or cheap, quick, easy to clean dinners with instructions on boxes. Cooking is an art and a science, one that I understand but I'm not particularly good at. So because of that, I'm humbled and easily accepting without judgment.

Awh i like this, I actually feel so happy that I can cook and didnt listen to the feminists who told me not to do food tec in school

 

[MrLonely86]

Right! You men of mischief... want a light hearted question...?

I'll set the scene... it's 7pm, 5th date and she's cooked! You know... at her place But the food is disgusting... like it's all bad, flavours and textures are wayyy off. Only thing you enjoy is the wine... what would you do?...

5th date , at night , at her place and I enjoy only wine.
Hhmmm.
I would tell her I'm in love with her, and that food sucks, then I would order pizza and go watch TV with her while cuddling. XD

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Right, my mission to get questions for the men on as many pages as questions for the women... is a hard road... equality... am I right?...

My next question is... Men, be honest... how comes men often say "I love you" first? Have you always meant it when you said it? Do men just say it? Is it a manipulation technique? Aren't women supposed to be the hopeless romantics lol but every couple I know men have said it first, or is it the hidden alpha, has to make his move first or appears ... less masculine? Or maybe its the sex talking who knows? Oh right, men should know.... so... lets hear it lads!

 

[Finished]

Oh wow! That's news to me. I always made sure to let the women say it first because I didn't want to scare her away. I did tell one I had strong feelings for her before she said anything. She didn't say anything back to me at all. So, I never brought it up again. ha! ha!

Then after they say it I would wait a few days or a little longer to make sure it didn't seem like I was just saying it to say it back. I usually meant it. If you wait too long to say it back then it's usually over. But, I did have one women get mad at me when I didn't immediately say it back to her. Blaaaaaa. I just said that I'm sorry but I'm not there yet. I would tell her as soon as I was though.

So, here's something I learned about love. It's SUPER easy to say it. There's all kinds of levels of love. Nobody has ever asked me what level of love I meant when I said it. It could only be a 1.5 out of 10. But, that's good enough to say it. It doesn't have to be a 10. Just say it when it's ready to be heard. You can grow into full blown love over time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Oh wow! That's news to me. I always made sure to let the women say it first because I didn't want to scare her away. I did tell one I had strong feelings for her before she said anything. She didn't say anything back to me at all. So, I never brought it up again. ha! ha!

Then after they say it I would wait a few days or a little longer to make sure it didn't seem like I was just saying it to say it back. I usually meant it. If you wait too long to say it back then it's usually over. But, I did have one women get mad at me when I didn't immediately say it back to her. Blaaaaaa. I just said that I'm sorry but I'm not there yet. I would tell her as soon as I was though.

So, here's something I learned about love. It's SUPER easy to say it. There's all kinds of levels of love. Nobody has ever asked me what level of love I meant when I said it. It could only be a 1.5 out of 10. But, that's good enough to say it. It doesn't have to be a 10. Just say it when it's ready to be heard. You can grow into full blown love over time.

I cant tell my fella I love him, I just cant lol He tells me but im not saying it, nooo way. Like most men... he doesn't pressure me for anything, not even I love you's. But I think it can get to him because when we broke up he mentioned how I've never said it. Im a real ***** during break ups so, I won't say what I said to that.. lol But even when I let my guard down I switch out love with miss, like I really miss you, even when im sitting right next to him lmao. I hope he knows what I mean, because I cant say it, kinda like how he cant say sorry just makes me feel weak. I'll tell him on our wedding day or birth of his first son then never say it again so help me god lol.

 

[Finished]

^ But why? It's just a word. It doesn't have to mean anything. If it's what he wants to hear and you really like him or even love him then why not say it? Look at it this way, you aren't saying I will love you forever. It just means right now, this second, I love you. Can you say you love different foods? Then pretend you are saying it to one of them. It's okay to say it and then if you do end up breaking up you can feel good you meant it at the time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

^ But why? It's just a word. It doesn't have to mean anything. If it's what he wants to hear and you really like him or even love him then why not say it? Look at it this way, you aren't saying I will love you forever. It just means right now, this second, I love you. Can you say you love different foods? Then pretend you are saying it to one of them. It's okay to say it and then if you do end up breaking up you can feel good you meant it at the time.

It's not just a word to me, it's a word I first heard at 8 years old after my first competitive dance competition. One of the last words my father said to me before he passed. The first words I said to my fellas daughter. The first words I'll say to my future son. It isn't something I just say. If he wants a word like that... I'll use miss, or like lol Love... I'll say that for the first time on our wedding day, I know it'll mean way more to him that way anyway and doesn't force me to say things I dont wanna say, before I wanna say them, you know?

 

[Finished]

I'm curious to see how the other guys answer your question.

 

[ewomack]

Right, my mission to get questions for the men on as many pages as questions for the women... is a hard road... equality... am I right?...

My next question is... Men, be honest... how comes men often say "I love you" first? Have you always meant it when you said it? Do men just say it? Is it a manipulation technique? Aren't women supposed to be the hopeless romantics lol but every couple I know men have said it first, or is it the hidden alpha, has to make his move first or appears ... less masculine? Or maybe its the sex talking who knows? Oh right, men should know.... so... lets hear it lads!

I have some baggage with that ominous sentence, unfortunately, mostly because the first woman that I ever said "I think I might love you" to responded by saying "Oh well." I thought I really did, too, but that incident obviously sent our relationship reeling off into a vortex that it never recovered from. We were both young, but not that young. Then when we broke up later, she told me "there was a time I thought I loved you." I responded, "well, that was true for me at one time, too, so we appear to have missed each other." When I said those words to her I no longer loved her. She did just about everything to suck my love for her out of me by the time we finally parted ways (I wasn't completely innocent, either, of course, but had she told me she loved me I would have never responded with "oh well."). So that sentence became very loaded and a little bit poisonous for me. I was terrified to say it to anyone again for years, because the first and only time I had ever said it to someone it completely destroyed the relationship. My first wife then told me continuously, even, I found out later, while she was sleeping around on me. After that experience I grew to hate and distrust the sentence and it took me years again to ever say it anyone. Though I'm in a very stable and loving marriage now, I still distrust the sentence and it doesn't always give me a good feeling. It was kind of ruined for me.

Given all of that, it should be obvious that I take the sentence very seriously. I have always used it with extreme care and I never threw it around aimlessly because I want it to actually mean something. It's easy to just say "I love you I love you I love you I love you" over and over again but never actually mean it or live up to it. Sort of like Christians who think that going to church is all that they need to do to be good Christians. Those words can get taken for granted and worn out unless they're treated with some respect, because, in the end, they are just words, but it completely depends on how you treat those words. If you treat them like trash, then they will be trash. If you give them meaning, then they will have meaning. They mean so much to me that I've become terrified of them a little and I've had a very hard time trusting people with them. Whenever I've said them, I've completely meant them, to the point that I ensure that I'm living up to them. To me, saying it represents an oath. You pledged your love to someone, so live it, dammit. I've never used the sentence to manipulate or mislead anyone else, because I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me (guys have admitted to me that they've said those words to get women into bed - and some guys I've known have confused love and lust, so they just mispoke - they should have said "I lust you."). Sadly, I don't have a great history with those words, which has made me paranoid about them. But, in the end, I would rather show love than just say it. Saying it without corresponding action means pretty much nothing. But for me saying it is doing it, so I'm very careful about saying it. And, though I don't say it often, I hope that I show it constantly.

 

[Adamridge79]

Wow....so many words to convey a singular thought

 

[Colster]

It's not just a word to me, it's a word I first heard at 8 years old after my first competitive dance competition. One of the last words my father said to me before he passed. The first words I said to my fellas daughter. The first words I'll say to my future son. It isn't something I just say. If he wants a word like that... I'll use miss, or like lol Love... I'll say that for the first time on our wedding day, I know it'll mean way more to him that way anyway and doesn't force me to say things I dont wanna say, before I wanna say them, you know?

I'll say that you are ridiculously over complicating things. Furthermore, it appears that many of your own insecurities and nuances, are of your own making. All these intricacies and foibles, are highly likely to turn upon you, and kick your arse.

 

[Colster]

Don't say it if don't mean it. And if you can't say it, don't be there. Pretty f-ing simple. Anything else is just a shallow excuse.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I have some baggage with that ominous sentence, unfortunately, mostly because the first woman that I ever said "I think I might love you" to responded by saying "Oh well." I thought I really did, too, but that incident obviously sent our relationship reeling off into a vortex that it never recovered from. We were both young, but not that young. Then when we broke up later, she told me "there was a time I thought I loved you." I responded, "well, that was true for me at one time, too, so we appear to have missed each other." When I said those words to her I no longer loved her. She did just about everything to suck my love for her out of me by the time we finally parted ways (I wasn't completely innocent, either, of course, but had she told me she loved me I would have never responded with "oh well."). So that sentence became very loaded and a little bit poisonous for me. I was terrified to say it to anyone again for years, because the first and only time I had ever said it to someone it completely destroyed the relationship. My first wife then told me continuously, even, I found out later, while she was sleeping around on me. After that experience I grew to hate and distrust the sentence and it took me years again to ever say it anyone. Though I'm in a very stable and loving marriage now, I still distrust the sentence and it doesn't always give me a good feeling. It was kind of ruined for me.

Given all of that, it should be obvious that I take the sentence very seriously. I have always used it with extreme care and I never threw it around aimlessly because I want it to actually mean something. It's easy to just say "I love you I love you I love you I love you" over and over again but never actually mean it or live up to it. Sort of like Christians who think that going to church is all that they need to do to be good Christians. Those words can get taken for granted and worn out unless they're treated with some respect, because, in the end, they are just words, but it completely depends on how you treat those words. If you treat them like trash, then they will be trash. If you give them meaning, then they will have meaning. They mean so much to me that I've become terrified of them a little and I've had a very hard time trusting people with them. Whenever I've said them, I've completely meant them, to the point that I ensure that I'm living up to them. To me, saying it represents an oath. You pledged your love to someone, so live it, dammit. I've never used the sentence to manipulate or mislead anyone else, because I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me (guys have admitted to me that they've said those words to get women into bed - and some guys I've known have confused love and lust, so they just mispoke - they should have said "I lust you."). Sadly, I don't have a great history with those words, which has made me paranoid about them. But, in the end, I would rather show love than just say it. Saying it without corresponding action means pretty much nothing. But for me saying it is doing it, so I'm very careful about saying it. And, though I don't say it often, I hope that I show it constantly.

I cannot believe what im reading…. “Oh well”… oh bloody well, right what a total rude person. I think thats so vulnerable and for someone to cross it off with an oh well is simply vile to me.

I think its no surprise that you feel that way about the phrase, awful how one person, can spoil something for you forever. I hate that about life… did you say it first ever again?