Questions for the Women

[Newfieguy]

Depends on what it is. If I can do it myself in an efficient manner, I'd just do it myself. If it's something someone else can do much better or I have no idea or whatever, I would point it out, especially if I've reminded him multiple times.

In your example, is there a reason she can't do it? It's been a while since I've had a baby gate, but I don't recall it being that difficult to adjust them. How long as she been reminding you to do it?
Is there a specific reason you did all the chores yesterday? Did you do them before she would even have a chance to do them? Was she doing other things that would prevent her from doing chores?
So many things go into what happens in a home on a day to day basis, so I would need more info to determine if she was over the top or not. It's not fair to the other person to draw a determination based on the little bit of information here. Sorry, I'm a "look at it from both sides before offering an opinion" kind of person. lol

A lot of the times admittedly I try to get ahead on the chores because it seems her mental health can be poor at times.

Yesterday she mostly was on her phone and planning how to decorate the Christmas decorations.

In terms of the gate I think she would be able to do it she just doesn’t want to. There’s a few screws that I think are loose and might need to change out for some bigger ones for stability. I would do it, but the gate still works as is right now too. But every time I think of it I’m working on something else

 

[ringwood]

Like yesterday I pretty much did everything from 7am to 10pm (all chores childcare etc) and she reminded me of how I forgot to adjust the baby gate. Like “why do I have to keep reminding you?”

A lot of the times admittedly I try to get ahead on the chores because it seems her mental health can be poor at times.

Yesterday she mostly was on her phone and planning how to decorate the Christmas decorations.

Seems to me if wifey was on her phone and planning how to decorate for Christmas most of the day, she could've definitely helped at some point. Keeping a house together is a two-way street - you both live there, you both need to contribute to the upkeep of it. That said, did you ask her for help at all during the day? Partners can be oblivious sometimes.

Is it common to not notice how much your partner does? At any point would you cut him some slack? And is it wrong to feel like I should have a bit of appreciation? I don’t need thank yous I more or less need her to jump in when I’m too tired.

I understand I need to get the baby gate adjusted but she could have done one of the other chores so I could have worked on it too… don’t mean to rant just feeling frustrated today.

I think it's common to take relationships for granted, especially when you've been together for a long time. Do you thank your wife for what she does and make her feel appreciated? (I'm assuming she does childcare/chores, etc at some point?). Sounds like you guys need to open up the lines of communication a little more and be vocal about how you're feeling. Overwhelmed? Tell the wife. Feeling underappreciated? Let the wifey know.

My husband and I have been together for over 22 years now. These are lessons we've learned over our many years together - communication is paramount and goes a long way to keeping harmony in a relationship.

BTW, welcome to A.L.L. I just moved across the country from B.C. this summer and am officially a Maritime girl now - we're in Nova Scotia.