Questions for the Women

[CenotaphGirl]

Hypothetical question for the ladies.

If you were relatively happily married and about to have a child, would you be offended if your husband delayed signing the birth certificate until the infant was DNA tested for paternity?

Also, what about a pre-nuptial agreement prior to marriage? Would you be offended if asked to sign one?

From a male POV, this seems prudent to me, given the divorce rates & very pro-female alimony/child support laws in the US (and I assume Western Europe as well). But I can also see where some females might find this offensive. Just curious how offensive. Thanks.

DNA... well...I think it's offensive so it should be done automatically like the man doesn't ask, so to speak. I would be happier if that was a thing. As for a prenup... they aren't worth the paper they're written on in the UK lol I wouldn't sign one regardless. My mum always said, to my aunt who signed one, quick get pregnant, get pregnant, that virtually voids it here.

 

[Unsigned]

quick get pregnant, get pregnant, that virtually voids it here.

Yes, here in the US too.
You cannot pre-negotiate child support.

should be done automatically like the man doesn't ask

Yes, that would be a good way to do it.
Just always done as part of hospital procedure.
Leaves no room for mistakes.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you were relatively happily married and about to have a child, would you be offended if your husband delayed signing the birth certificate until the infant was DNA tested for paternity?

I would probably be very angry, honestly. Not because you wanted to get the DNA test done, but that you waited until I was about to pop to mention it. Which may indicate that you thought I was cheating on you and that the baby wasn't yours. I would suggest if this is what a man wants, talk to her WELL BEFORE she gets pregnant so everyone is on the same page.
But, I can also see why someone would find it offensive. I suppose she could be the next Virgin Mary, though. lol

Also, what about a pre-nuptial agreement prior to marriage? Would you be offended if asked to sign one?

I have no problem with pre-nups.

 

[Xpendable]

DNA tests should be mandatory.

 

[TheRealCallie]

DNA tests should be mandatory.

Isn't there a thread about that?

Found it!

Here you go, @Unsigned if you want to read it over.

https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/paternity-tests-at-birth.42183/

 

[Tryingtosurvive]

I always wondered why women you are no longer affiliated with get angry when you talk to another woman? It's purely rhetorical, I know why they do

 

[Tryingtosurvive]

So someone i know is visiting my city in 2/3 months from abroad who is very interesting and she feels the same way about me (shocking i know). Also, she is a bit younger than me too which isn't a problem either. But i was wondering if i should ask about a date when she's here or before she arrives? As i'm not used to this sort of situation .

 

[CenotaphGirl]

So someone i know is visiting my city in 2/3 months from abroad who is very interesting and she feels the same way about me (shocking i know). Also, she is a bit younger than me too which isn't a problem either. But i was wondering if i should ask about a date when she's here or before she arrives? As i'm not used to this sort of situation .

Should ask the lads ! And not shocking I wish you the best of luck sweets

 

[TheRealCallie]

So someone i know is visiting my city in 2/3 months from abroad who is very interesting and she feels the same way about me (shocking i know). Also, she is a bit younger than me too which isn't a problem either. But i was wondering if i should ask about a date when she's here or before she arrives? As i'm not used to this sort of situation .

Well it wouldn't be wrong to make plans before she gets there. Most people do that. So I would say either way is fine. Would you rather ask her in person or online/over the phone?

 

[Tryingtosurvive]

Well it wouldn't be wrong to make plans before she gets there. Most people do that. So I would say either way is fine. Would you rather ask her in person or online/over the phone?

I'll probably ask on the phone. It seems like the best way for me and thanks

 

[Richard_39]

My cousin and I are going out again for drinks tonight. Inevitably, the conversation will switch to the woes he's been having with his wife, in the last few months. They've been married maybe 9 years now and they often butt heads on rather mundane issues as the both of them have very headstrong, but rather unreflecting, personnalities. He often looks to me for advice on it. Thing is...I'm not sure what to tell him anymore. He feels like they're distancing, based on her attitude. I suggested more common activities, some time alone spent without their kids, etc.
Any other advice?

 

[Unsigned]

My cousin and I are going out again for drinks tonight. Inevitably, the conversation will switch to the woes he's been having with his wife, in the last few months. They've been married maybe 9 years now and they often butt heads on rather mundane issues as the both of them have very headstrong, but rather unreflecting, personnalities. He often looks to me for advice on it. Thing is...I'm not sure what to tell him anymore. He feels like they're distancing, based on her attitude. I suggested more common activities, some time alone spent without their kids, etc.
Any other advice?

Yeah...Tell him to take her to the zoo...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

My cousin and I are going out again for drinks tonight. Inevitably, the conversation will switch to the woes he's been having with his wife, in the last few months. They've been married maybe 9 years now and they often butt heads on rather mundane issues as the both of them have very headstrong, but rather unreflecting, personnalities. He often looks to me for advice on it. Thing is...I'm not sure what to tell him anymore. He feels like they're distancing, based on her attitude. I suggested more common activities, some time alone spent without their kids, etc.
Any other advice?

Tell him to let her win sometimes, i swear some people lose everything because they cant fall on their sword for each other ever, just so rigid on who is right and who is wrong just fall on the sword like a man if she loves him she’ll follow his lead and do it too sometimes.

Yeah...Tell him to take her to the zoo...

I dont know why you men like women that argue with ya, baffles my whole mind

 

[Richard_39]

Tell him to let her win sometimes, i swear some people lose everything because they cant fall on their sword for each other ever, just so rigid on who is right and who is wrong just fall on the sword like a man if she loves him she’ll follow his lead and do it too sometimes.


I dont know why you men like women that argue with ya, baffles my whole mind

Winning or losing isn't much the problem. They aren't in a power struggle or anything like that. It's just that he sees things a certain way, she doesn't, they meet somewhere in the middle, but as he told me, he feels she's distancing from him. Less holding, less casual kisses, less of everything. Of course, he has a busy, high paid job for a bank, she has a busy job as a schoolteacher, but he feels their intimacy is dwindling. I do not mean just sexual intimacy. I thought it may be just marriage fatigue, which is why I suggested more common, romantic activities. Or couples counseling. He even wondered if she was seing someone on the side, which I told him was ridiculous, but...it happens. I don't really have any idea.

I don't think faling over a sword for someone is a healthy kind of relationship.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Winning or losing isn't much the problem. They aren't in a power struggle or anything like that. It's just that he sees things a certain way, she doesn't, they meet somewhere in the middle, but as he told me, he feels she's distancing from him. Less holding, less casual kisses, less of everything. Of course, he has a busy, high paid job for a bank, she has a busy job as a schoolteacher, but he feels their intimacy is dwindling. I do not mean just sexual intimacy. I thought it may be just marriage fatigue, which is why I suggested more common, romantic activities. Or couples counseling. He even wondered if she was seing someone on the side, which I told him was ridiculous, but...it happens. I don't really have any idea.

I don't think faling over a sword for someone is a healthy kind of relationship.

Ah intimacy issues, maybe he did something that made him seem less of a man in her eyes, that can do it. Maybe they need a holiday ? Maybe shes got a hormone imbalance. You just never really know with that. As for unhealthy… well It’s the only type of relationship I know, most women are hormonal so we arent always logical and thus it takes real care and the ability to just fall on the sword to make things work. In counselling they say, sometimes its not about getting the person to admit they were wrong but asking yourself… do I really wanna fight about this… so wow so powerful. As being wrong is well subjective, maybe I was right with the hormones and my state at the time.

 

[Unsigned]

Here's a question for the ladies.
What makes a female genuinely care about a male?
Care enough to be truthful with him?
Is it looks?
Is it accomplishments?
Is it stupid crap like dancing/clubbing or telling jokes or being a gangster or fist fighting over a parking space?
What differentiates in the female mind between caring about a male vs. treating him like a walking ATM machine?
I really want to know.

Apologies if I am coming off like a jerk.
Someone lied to me this week.
Over something stupid.
I genuinely don't care about the outcome. A simple "no" would have been fine.
I'm just annoyed about being lied to. Again. For the umpteenth time.
Why is honesty so hard for females?
OK...ok...for some females...

 

[Richard_39]

Here's a question for the ladies.
What makes a female genuinely care about a male?
Care enough to be truthful with him?
Is it looks?
Is it accomplishments?
Is it stupid crap like dancing/clubbing or telling jokes or being a gangster or fist fighting over a parking space?
What differentiates in the female mind between caring about a male vs. treating him like a walking ATM machine?
I really want to know.

Apologies if I am coming off like a jerk.
Someone lied to me this week.
Over something stupid.
I genuinely don't care about the outcome. A simple "no" would have been fine.
I'm just annoyed about being lied to. Again. For the umpteenth time.
Why is honesty so hard for females?
OK...ok...for some females...

Well, I'm not female
But, I'd like to take a shot at it.
I think, for desirable women at least, because I've been around many I wouldn't care to date, it's about who you are, not what you are. That takes being around someone to know.
Just because a girl, or man, is anything like what's described above, doesn't mean it makes him or her desirable. One, some or none of those things can be. Different types of people are attracted to different things.

Point being, be who you are. I never much ran after girls myself. I just concentrated on being me. Life will take care of putting someone in your way. I',ll be the judge as to wether or not it's someone I want. Might be because I'm any or none of the things listed above, I don't know. But I'll know it'll be for who I am. I'm not going to try to be more of any of the things you listed. Unless I want to do so, for me.

 

[michael2]

Why do women find a man more attractive when other women like him too?

 

[Richard_39]

Why do women find a man more attractive when other women like him too?

Well, I'll take a shot, the place is quiet
I think the answer is twofold. First, there's attraction to the unavailable in the case of someone already in a relationship. You want the forbidden fruit. I was come on to more often when I was in a relationship than when I'm not. Which I always found funny, because I only have eyes for the girl I'm with.
Second, I think that a guy who is already in a relationship is just being himself. He's not pretending, trying to cone off good, trying to please. He's just being himself without expectations. Someone legit across the board, without pandering, if they're a good person, is extremely attractive.
Anyway, that's my take.

 

[michael2]

Interesting take. I agree with the forbidden fruit thing, but it doesn't make a lick of sense to me. When I find out someone is married or dating I lose 100% of any romantic interest in them. Even if someone is liked by alot of others that can make me lose interest in them.

My take, as a man, is women are more social then men. They understand who they date/marry affects their social standing, so it's more important to them that the guy they are interested in is attractive in the eyes of other women which means he has a higher social standing. I've known guys who exhibit traits like this too, but I think it's more pronounced in women.

Im still interested in what women have to say about this

I thought about this after a woman I know started contacting me again after she saw me talking to another woman. And I've heard about it alot