Rant- Rambles flooding my mind!

[CenotaphGirl]

No responses necessary if you have nothing to add…

Do you plan every detail of your life? I do… planning keeps the anxiety at bay.

However, sometimes planning kicks me down a rabbit whole… I find myself trying to iron out all possible tension points and risk factors for hours!

My relationship OCD drives me insane because if my relationship is not perfect I feel so unhappy, genuinely would rather be single than with a man who makes me unhappy due to his inability to keep the relationship how I need it.

But when it is perfect its like I start planning for when its not and thus my problem. I offended my Rob over something I genuinely worry about and he felt like if he said the same thing to me i’d walk out and never look back… is he right? Maybe… but im that type of woman I expect that irrational behaviour from myself so I dont understand the comparison.

Its like men were made to confuse me, whats the point of having all that testosterone if you wanna sit there and be compared to a woman? . Anywho I digress…. Im just angry because I know Rob is the man for me but life and society fill my head with doubts.

Im annoyed because I want to be satisfied but I never ever am. Rob thinks a baby will make me calm down and pretty much shut up… probably right however I worry… I’m always worried

 

[user 139760]

How long have you been seeing this guy again? Not to put a damper on it, but it feels a bit premature, thinking about babies right now, no?
In answer to the brunt of the question, no, I don't do much planning. I vaguely plan, keep it open to last minute modification. Life's uncertain and moving all the time, so too much planning, like you, would probably feed ny OCD too much.
Besides, it's fun sometimes to keep yourself open to life's little surprises

 

[CenotaphGirl]

How long have you been seeing this guy again? Not to put a damper on it, but it feels a bit premature, thinking about babies right now, no?
In answer to the brunt of the question, no, I don't do much planning. I vaguely plan, keep it open to last minute modification. Life's uncertain and moving all the time, so too much planning, like you, would probably feed ny OCD too much.
Besides, it's fun sometimes to keep yourself open to life's little surprises

Nah I wanted a baby for a while so, who the dad is… well… is of little importance to me the issue is im tired Richard, im so fed up of feeling the way I feel but I just cant stop. I cant stop overthinking overplanning overcrying overoffending and it makes me feel so fed up.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

If you feel like this , when things are going good, in your life (perhaps without the safety harness, mind you)...

Think for at least a couple of years, maybe six or eight, before you decide to bring a child into this world.

To be blunt, which I don't think I often am: having a baby is very rarely a solution to a problem, much less something that will calm anyone down and, 'shut them up.' I think the only time having a baby is the solution to a problem is when there are only two people left on the earth, and when a loving, stable, committed couple is having fertility issues...

Who the father is, might be important to the child to be, for one. And that's just one...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If you feel like this , when things are going good, in your life (perhaps without the safety harness, mind you)...

Think for at least a couple of years, maybe six or eight, before you decide to bring a child into this world.

To be blunt, which I don't think I often am: having a baby is very rarely a solution to a problem, much less something that will calm anyone down and, 'shut them up.' I think the only time having a baby is the solution to a problem is when there are only two people left on the earth, and when a loving, stable, committed couple is having fertility issues...

Who the father is, might be important to the child to be, for one. And that's just one...

I feel like if im not a mum soon… 2 years… is well… unlikely for me, I only live for my purpose… which is to have kids.

Who the father is, doesn't matter to me at all as I was planning to use a donor before I met Rob so I wont have to deal with an actual man… but using a donor is offensive to Rob and now im just confused about if my relationship is perfect or if its not… like I am afraid of having a baby with someone who’s family will reject it just as I was rejected. I feel like thats more important than who the dad is, you know?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I feel like if im not a mum soon… 2 years… is well… unlikely for me, I only live for my purpose… which is to have kids.

Who the father is, doesn't matter to me at all as I was planning to use a donor before I met Rob so I wont have to deal with an actual man… but using a donor is offensive to Rob and now im just confused about if my relationship is perfect or if its not… like I am afraid of having a baby with someone who’s family will reject it just as I was rejected. I feel like thats more important than who the dad is, you know?

I can't really provide a... concise/proper? response to all that...? At the moment..

I was just thinking a few moments ago, though. If you haven't seen the movie, "The Ramen Girl." It's a lovely film, imo. It might take your mind off over-thinking, if you have time for it, and are interested..

And then there's one of my absolute favorite timeless wisdoms.

hmm.. could be way out in left field, but, it's late and there's a full moon.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I can't really provide a... concise/proper? response to all that...? At the moment..

I was just thinking a few moments ago, though. If you haven't seen the movie, "The Ramen Girl." It's a lovely film, imo. It might take your mind off over-thinking, if you have time for it, and are interested..

And then there's one of my absolute favorite timeless wisdoms.

hmm.. could be way out in left field, but, it's late and there's a full moon.

Nooo never seen that im gonna watch it actually