Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
My nights always start out fine, but then they devolve quite rapidly. And this pretty much describes how I act in society around people I don't know.
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Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
You ever been so clueless as to what you read you wrote, would have made sense in quotations? I never alluded to my being married. It's a person I professionally see giving me advice. FFS, I am soooooo out of practice with this stuff. I was so confused. Then I read the whole thread. Darn I feel silly now, correcting what didn't need correcting. This has been bothering me for hours. And yes, what I say here actually matters to me quite a bit.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
So, since I try to post a question that has a reason behind it, what makes you contribute to the random threads? I do it because maybe it will illicit a response, and then hope I have one thing in common with said responder. Still firing randomly so far...but I've been told the effort justifies the means...maybe? I don't know
I prefer the old school format. I also like that the mods are lax.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
The seasons have/are changing, and this is always fodder for easy talk. We all have our preferences and reasons behind them. What is your favorite time of year? Fall but more winter is mine. Yes, I lose out on fishing, since the whole ice fishing is so much effort. But there's no more humidity, less heat. No more **** hornets or mosquitoes, no loud ass motorcycles and people stay inside where they belong. I can find much peace in nature after a snowfall, and even the mutedness of shoveling snow in the evening, when it's brisk, and the only sounds are the gratifying scrape of shovels.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I might see something that I have thoughts on, or it just might make me think something then and there. With posts I kinda just fire off whatever's on my mind.
Hmm I don't know anymore. It used to be summer, because of summer vacation, fireflies and other insects I liked seeing, swimming, and things like that. But now that I'm older I don't have summer vacation anymore. And I feel like it's also a lot hotter and more humid than it used to be.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
Oh, I did forget about the fireflies. And hatching monarch butterflies. And the orioles that eat the jam. I guess this whole rona thing made me more conscious of people and their lesser behavior. Maybe 2022 will be more even keeled
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
So, to see I at least attempt to keep up with this, I'll attempt a less banal question. This may be a bit for some, but it feels important to me. Also, I understand it may not be seen as a venue for it, but I will continue to try to be all inclusive, or some other nonsense that sounds good. My general question is why did you or not, attempt to better yourself through whichever way was relevant to you personally? Mine was an acceptance I was broken and needed change. Although I was brought up to 'be a man', I knew something had to change. I took the tests or whatever, found out...well, the aforementioned broken, so since I literally had nothing to lose I made the attempt. Man, that first two years sucked. But, for me and *only* me, it did seem to do some good. Not all will feel the same, and I welcome you to tell what you're using. This is all just a way for me to try to connect with people, a thing I am unpracticed at.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Because I hated what I had let myself become. I hated that I was nothing, like literally nothing, I was a shell. I hated having to fake that I was okay. I hated that I let a man get inside my head like that. And I hated that I wasn't really being a mother. I wasn't neglectful or abusive or anything like that, but I just did the minimum, just what I HAD to do because I couldn't do anything more than that. I didn't have the energy. I didn't have the gumption.
So yeah, I said fresia that and fixed it. Took me over three long long years to get to a point where I was comfortable with myself again....hell, to FIND myself again. Hardest thing I ever did....but also one of the best.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
Finding out who I was and who I am now, I lost a lot of my life to the before me, and I took others with me. Knowing you weren't the good guy in the story is hard. But because of that I know better now, and I'm certain I'll always carry the guilt. I can only do my best going forward and actually ASK for help if I need it, or think I may need it. Never would have been that way 6 years ago, but it seems to work.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
Okay, so. Halloween. I don't care two shits and fresia about it. But some really love it. Memories of childhood. It was cool, but in a northern state sometimes you had to wear winter gear and it seemed to ruin it. I really only remember the shitty ones, not the good ones, although I'm sure there were a few. Round about way of asking, but thoughts of all hallows eve now?
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
Undeterred I post yet again. Consistency. This one can usually stir something among people. Well, if they read it, I guess. It's something I was asked by a newer co worker. Dogs or cats? I do prefer canines but I presently live with a cat. I always love when someone says 'neither, I like...'. My favorite was 'Why would I pay to feed and care for something that can't pay any bills?' A got a decent chuckle out of that.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
At least some of you use grocery carts when you shop. Some put them in the cart corral outside, some very considerate people bring them inside. Today I noticed at the place I work, someone left one at the top of the stairs to the street side entrance, 10 steps total, barely kept falling because of the hand rail. What reason would you do that, when twenty feet away is the entryway? On the rare times I have need of one, I always put it where it should go. Such a simple act that seems to be too much for some. Said same people are the ones who ***** if a cart scratches their vehicle. Societal degeneration starts slow.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
So I have to generally stay to a routine, with some minor variables being OK. My days off, with the weather soon to be colder, are going to have to go through some changes. I find I have to plan things like that far in advance to keep a balanced mentality. Spotenaity isn't the best for me historically speaking. So that's my reason for keeping structure, anyone have a similar mindset?
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
I'm not a huge fan of spiders in general. I try to leave them be most times. However, I will not abide them in the shower. They must drown. It's not like I'm not aware I'm exponentially larger than them. It's because I have no clothes, and that's just not cool man.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
He powers through ladies and gentlemen and all others who associate with the non conformist societal norms. Why do I keep posting when there is obviously little to no interest in this thread? Because, it's really only affirmation that I can continue to do one of the newest things I am apparently supposed to be able to. If I knew that being put on meds with a bunch of therapies/pshychiatres and going sober was going to be so mundane, I may have spent that time in glass, steel, and concrete. Ok, that's a lie, that actually sucks a lot. I don't have a lot of skill with dealing with people, so this is really just a recorded version of me talking to myself. So, yea you. Way to do the work! 
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I'm interested. Just not focused enough at the moment to participate.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
I appreciate the acknowledgement, thank you
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
Just changing the disruption
Just Games
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Well the international flavour for a start.The place was jumping loads of new threads from politics to cats,you name it there was a thread about it.Big welcome when I started.Only few people hang around now and participate...shame really.
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