Red flag?

[CenotaphGirl]

Okay okay opinions! Is he faithful? Is this a red flag?

You’re a man with a insecure girlfriend, you want to attend a work get together but know if you mention some attractive and on occasion flirtatious (towards you only, its flattering but nothing serious) women will be there your girlfriend will ask you not to go. You plan on not mentioning them however, she asks and you purposefully do not mention they will be there, are you unfaithful?

 

[Cherubino]

the guy avoids the subject for either good reasons (peace in the couple and home), bad reasons (he stealthily enjoys the company of those women but he doesn't dare to go physical) or evil reasons (unfaithful as suspected)

 

[TropicalStarfish]

PLOT TWIST: He's actually an alien. An alien with 37.2 wives. 37.2 beautiful alien wives. A very unfaithful alien indeed, perhaps. Although, he is polygamous...




The truth is out there...

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

It depends on how he manages and treats his social interactions with women before and after he gets into a relationship.

If he blows other girls off for you, than probably nothing will happen and you're his main focus and interest of commitment.

But if he goes out of his way to bring it up and mentions that he used to have an attraction to them, okay then yeah, while the honesty is appreciated, it's probably in bad tact to give your lover a reason to be concerned when in fact there is no reason to be concerned. So if THAT'S the case, than it could just be that he's a bit socially aloof and oblivious?

 

[TheRealCallie]

If she asks him point blank and he avoids the question or says no, he's a liar. Which is likely why she doesn't want him to go in the first place, because if you lie about who is going to be there, what else are you lying about?

Not saying who is going to be there, however (whether a lie or not a lie) is not being unfaithful. I'd say it's a misguided way of protecting her or a way to not have to deal with her insecurities. If he does anything, THAT is being unfaithful. If he WANTS to do something, some would consider that being unfaithful. But simply lying about who is going to be there? No, definitely not. I assume it's one of those "I trust you, but I don't trust HER" situations? Sorry, but if you don't trust HER and want to keep him away from her, you also don't trust him, because she can TRY as much as she wants. If the guy really cares for you, he's not going to do it regardless of what she does to try to make it happen. And if he does, he's not the guy you thought he was and the relationship is screwed.

 

[okidoke]

Okay okay opinions! Is he faithful? Is this a red flag?

You’re a man with a insecure girlfriend, you want to attend a work get together but know if you mention some attractive and on occasion flirtatious (towards you only, its flattering but nothing serious) women will be there your girlfriend will ask you not to go. You plan on not mentioning them however, she asks and you purposefully do not mention they will be there, are you unfaithful?

If she asks him point blank .......

So, wait, he invites her to a work get-together, and she's so insecure she just asks him "will there be attractive and flirtatious women there?" She is the red flag.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So, wait, he invites her to a work get-together, and she's so insecure she just asks him "will there be attractive and flirtatious women there?" She is the red flag.

From my understanding, HE has a work thing and will be going alone, but girlfriend wants to know if there will be good looking girls there.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But going off that, has boyfriend cheated before?

 

[okidoke]

From my understanding, HE has a work thing and will be going alone, but girlfriend wants to know if there will be good looking girls there.

seems like we need more info then. "he wants to attend" in the OP either indicates he's asked her to go along, or that he's asking for her permission to go himself. Why is he asking her if he can go? That sounds like a red flag now lol.

 

[okidoke]

Okay okay opinions! Is he faithful? Is this a red flag?

You’re a man with a insecure girlfriend, you want to attend a work get together but know if you mention some attractive and on occasion flirtatious (towards you only, its flattering but nothing serious) women will be there your girlfriend will ask you not to go. You plan on not mentioning them however, she asks and you purposefully do not mention they will be there, are you unfaithful?

Anyway, why word it from the perspective of the guy? IF this is about you, then just ask from your POV, or the girl's POV.

 

[TheSkaFish]

If the guy didn't do anything physical with other women, I would say he is in the clear.

However if I was the guy, and my girlfriend asked me to not go, I would strongly consider not going, unless I wanted to go very badly, and I could think of a way to make a reasonable request with my girlfriend and reassure her that nothing bad was going to happen.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Lolz sorry I only know from the mans perspective, because a man told me, and I thought red flag. I have never been the one to ask my fella not to go somewhere because of women. Too busy looking in the mirror for all that drama.

My friend however is very sneaky, he makes sure his partner cant come along to work trips even if shes allowed to attend so he can admire lovely ladies in peace (he’s just looking nothing more). He has never physically cheated but got scammed out of money attempting to cheat once.

I think its reasonable to want your partner away from women that are obviously open to sleeping with him if you believe men should be keeping it in their pants so to speak however, I believe ego is a mans super power and if a little flirt makes him feel like a man then so be it.

My only red flag is the lie, im only happy to submit to men who are happy to tell me the truth even if I wont like it.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Ego is there to protect the self from trauma, no more and no less.
No ego and you will be a doormat, too big of an ego and you're incredibly easy to undermine.

In truth, he should probably have a sense of self control, and if he doesn't THAT is a bigger thing to worry about than if he'll be with other women or not. If he has no self control, it doesn't matter how big his ego is, because he's easily exploitable by literally anyone with a silver tongue, for literally any reason whatsoever.

If he has a strong enough sense of self control than it wouldn't matter if he's around attractive women or not because nothing would happen if he has already made up his mind that nothing is going to happen before he even leaves the house to go to the work event.

That he got scammed for trying to cheat once is .
I know someone whose babydaddy that happened to.
Same said dude is now doing ads for a living to try to get people to sign up for timeshares.
I told his babymomma he should get away from that because it's a scam, and she was just like:
"I'm not bailing him out again."

So be careful!

 

[TheRealCallie]

My friend however is very sneaky, he makes sure his partner cant come along to work trips even if shes allowed to attend so he can admire lovely ladies in peace (he’s just looking nothing more). He has never physically cheated but got scammed out of money attempting to cheat once.

Everything about this statement is a red flag to me......

 

[Abstamyous]

The answer to your partner, spouse, gf/bf being insecure, is probably not actions that you make you untrustworthy. I don't think we should necessarily suck up to people with their insecurities, but if you are wanting to be with that person you work with them to some extent. From what has been described here, I'm not even sure it's her insecurity and not his need for an excuse to remain a certain way. In which case, I don't understand why he would remain in the relationship. Unless he's hoping she just puts herself out of her misery and ends it.

And he's telling an attractive woman about his woes with his so called insecure girlfriend. Imagine being that woman and ever finding that out?

Man I would be so pissed if I found out I was invited to my partners work event, and he prevented me from having free food.