A
Aardra
Guest
Hi, I am trans. I'm told I'm pretty. I'm also very tall, and while I "pass" it's still clear I spent the first 28 years of my life in the wrong body.
I've realized that while plenty of guys are willing to spend a night with me (that isn't to say I've indulged them, it's just something I've noticed), I'll never find one willing to actually date me, call me his girlfriend, hold my hand in public.... I often wonder if it's embarrassing for men to be seen in public with a very tall and ostensibly transgender woman. Is it?
Honestly I don't blame them. Any guy up to my standards is just going to have his choice of cis girl anyway. I can't give him kids. He wouldn't be eager to introduce me to his parents. He will probably be made fun of by his friends. And why go through the extra stress of being in a relationship with a girl who is constantly questioning her validity?
So it makes sense, and it's something I should accept and move on with. I am tired of men fetishizing me, assuming that because I am trans I must be promiscuous or desperate. I'm not. I just want to live a normal life as a woman, to be loved as a woman, and to have normal, healthy, adult relationships.
And women, well... I have always, and suspect I always will, feel like an impostor in lesbian circles. Why would a woman who is attracted to women want to date me? I worry they see me as an invader of traditionally women's spaces, or worse... a threat. I wish they knew I just want to be one of them. But I find a lot of their misandry is directed at me, which hurts a lot, because I'm not a man but these supposedly accepting people still see me as one on a visceral level. It makes me feel like I'm not trying hard enough.
I just... want to be close to someone. Bleh.
I've realized that while plenty of guys are willing to spend a night with me (that isn't to say I've indulged them, it's just something I've noticed), I'll never find one willing to actually date me, call me his girlfriend, hold my hand in public.... I often wonder if it's embarrassing for men to be seen in public with a very tall and ostensibly transgender woman. Is it?
Honestly I don't blame them. Any guy up to my standards is just going to have his choice of cis girl anyway. I can't give him kids. He wouldn't be eager to introduce me to his parents. He will probably be made fun of by his friends. And why go through the extra stress of being in a relationship with a girl who is constantly questioning her validity?
So it makes sense, and it's something I should accept and move on with. I am tired of men fetishizing me, assuming that because I am trans I must be promiscuous or desperate. I'm not. I just want to live a normal life as a woman, to be loved as a woman, and to have normal, healthy, adult relationships.
And women, well... I have always, and suspect I always will, feel like an impostor in lesbian circles. Why would a woman who is attracted to women want to date me? I worry they see me as an invader of traditionally women's spaces, or worse... a threat. I wish they knew I just want to be one of them. But I find a lot of their misandry is directed at me, which hurts a lot, because I'm not a man but these supposedly accepting people still see me as one on a visceral level. It makes me feel like I'm not trying hard enough.
I just... want to be close to someone. Bleh.