Is it fair to say a person has hit rock bottom when they’re sitting home alone and google “forum for lonely people”? Here I am, I guess at rock bottom. My wife of 5 years is divorcing me which came as a total shock. I thought we had just the most amazing marriage ever. Apparently she’s was kinda along for the ride until she had her life back in order. She met me at a time in her life where her world had just crumbled. And for the last 5 years we’ve worked hard to build her world back together with me and my two daughters in it. She had lost her marriage, her career, and her three kids. Shes finally at a point where she has it all back and now she’s gone. This was my second marriage, and this time I believed with all my heart that someone finally loved me for me, and not only that but loved me unconditionally. Heck, I just heard her telling me just a couple months ago she’d love me unconditionally. So I’ve got a lot I’m feeling bad about. My trust in women is shattered. I’ve always struggled with self esteem my whole life and have always driven myself to always try harder and do better at what I’m doing. I thought I finally had a love that was real, and at 41 years old I just knew I found my sidekick for the rest of my life. Everyday I woke up next to her I was excited. And I thought she felt the same. Sometimes my gut would tell me something wasn’t right. But I knew what my eyes saw and ears heard, and by golly she really loved me. So I’d tell Mr. Gut to shut up.
She’ll be moving out at the end of the month. My two daughters will be leaving at the end of this week to go spend the summer with their mother in Montana. I left my home, family and friends in Montana, left everything to move here to Oklahoma to be with her. I don’t have any friends. My family has always been what I treasure most. I’d rather be at home with my wife and kids than at the bar throwing them back with the guys. Family and work are what I spend my time on. So I basically don’t have a soul on this earth that really cares about me now. Spending the summer in an empty 6 bedroom house sounds impossible to do without going insane. I’ve looked to see if there are any divorce support groups in my area but no luck there. So now I find myself here on a forum for lonely people. And that to me is about as depressing as my summer outlook. But at least I’m somewhere where others might actually understand what’s going on inside. Really I should go see a therapist, but having the household income cut in half now, and being a single dad, I don’t even think I can afford to smoke cigs anymore, let alone therapy.
I have been writing a lot of poetry. Like a lot. I don’t know what happened because I’m not a poet. But since she said she was leaving I’ve been just having verses flow into my head. It happens so much and I’m feeling so much emotion that half the time I not even able to get a chance to jot it down. That’s been super weird. I even wrote a poem about the experience of having all this poetry come to me. I did start a YouTube channel to share my poems for others that feel the way I do. I wasn’t going to. I just started writing poetry, then being a former radio DJ I decided to record me reading them, even sometimes through tears, with music I felt fit each piece. Then I decided it needed visual elements to it so I started making them into videos. This was just something I was doing to give me something to do, and to feel better. But then one day I decided that i was the loneliest man on earth, there was nobody more lonely than me. But logic tells me that’s impossible, even if it feels that way, there still have to be people out there even more lonely than me. And if they are out there, I should share my poems so they can know they aren’t alone. It kinda gives me some purpose in the pain, so it helps some. But that’s how I’ve been coping so far. And now I’m here on a forum for lonely people spilling my guts as if someone cares. But here I am. Thank you for listening.
She’ll be moving out at the end of the month. My two daughters will be leaving at the end of this week to go spend the summer with their mother in Montana. I left my home, family and friends in Montana, left everything to move here to Oklahoma to be with her. I don’t have any friends. My family has always been what I treasure most. I’d rather be at home with my wife and kids than at the bar throwing them back with the guys. Family and work are what I spend my time on. So I basically don’t have a soul on this earth that really cares about me now. Spending the summer in an empty 6 bedroom house sounds impossible to do without going insane. I’ve looked to see if there are any divorce support groups in my area but no luck there. So now I find myself here on a forum for lonely people. And that to me is about as depressing as my summer outlook. But at least I’m somewhere where others might actually understand what’s going on inside. Really I should go see a therapist, but having the household income cut in half now, and being a single dad, I don’t even think I can afford to smoke cigs anymore, let alone therapy.
I have been writing a lot of poetry. Like a lot. I don’t know what happened because I’m not a poet. But since she said she was leaving I’ve been just having verses flow into my head. It happens so much and I’m feeling so much emotion that half the time I not even able to get a chance to jot it down. That’s been super weird. I even wrote a poem about the experience of having all this poetry come to me. I did start a YouTube channel to share my poems for others that feel the way I do. I wasn’t going to. I just started writing poetry, then being a former radio DJ I decided to record me reading them, even sometimes through tears, with music I felt fit each piece. Then I decided it needed visual elements to it so I started making them into videos. This was just something I was doing to give me something to do, and to feel better. But then one day I decided that i was the loneliest man on earth, there was nobody more lonely than me. But logic tells me that’s impossible, even if it feels that way, there still have to be people out there even more lonely than me. And if they are out there, I should share my poems so they can know they aren’t alone. It kinda gives me some purpose in the pain, so it helps some. But that’s how I’ve been coping so far. And now I’m here on a forum for lonely people spilling my guts as if someone cares. But here I am. Thank you for listening.
I went through an unexpected split up 4 yrs ago and it just threw me and my world upside down. Trust has been one of the more difficult things for me to get myself understanding... must say I am still struggling and very careful about people in general after such a jolt. Writing is a wonderful way to identify and clarify what you are feeling. I've done a ton of reading...both help in getting better balance and stability back. The loneliness is something I haven't yet figured out. Keeping busy is all well and good as is some serious navel gazing... someday I hope you find your balance and develop good friendships. 
