Self-fulfilling prophecies...

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Sidewinder

Well-known member
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Apr 25, 2021
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Cochise Stronghold, or damned near it...
Not being judgmental in ANY way here, as I know some folks suffer from severe depression & loneliness, but I have to make this observation: after reading some of these threads, it seems like some folks are allowing too much negativity to affect their lives. And believe me, I know a little about negativity...

My pop the submarine commander abandoned us overseas when I was 10 years old, placing us in dire financial straits (i.e. ******* poverty), and I never saw him again either, which led to a truckload of grief & anger which I had to process over a number of years. Factor in hardcore antisocial behavior---as a teenage skateboarder, I was raised on the Pistols, DK, and other punk rock groups, so my attitude was pretty ******* shitty.

In my late 20s, I realized that carrying around all that anger was ******* KILLING me, so I took steps to change my ways. I studied Behavioral Science in community college, just to learn more about myself and what made me tick. I also stumbled across those Zen Buddhist proverbs & principles I've mentioned elsewhere, and THOSE helped me IMMENSELY... far more than ANY organized religion ever did.

I even walked into a counselor's office at school (because visits were free, so why the fresia not?), and that hand actually helped me understand the underlying cause of all my anger, which was SADNESS. He told me anger is a secondary emotion... once I grasped that concept, I began to realize that it was OKAY to feel that sadness. Process it and move on... ya know? And it IS a ******* process, that's for GODDAM sure.

Fast forward to modern times, and yeah, the world can be an ugly place, full of greedy swine and self-centered ******** who don't give a honeysuckle about you. Thing is, I reckon too many folks here let that negativity creep into their lives and undermine their potential happiness... who gives a flying fresia what some ******** think? Live your OWN ******* life, and start enjoying the little things that add up to make living worthwhile.

Moi, I enjoy sitting on my view deck under the metal awning on the east side of my home, and taking in that spectacular view of the Dragoon Mountains & Cochise Stronghold. I like seeing the wild birds which flock to the birdbath & feeders in my yard. I enjoy quality time with the cats every single ******* day, they help keep me balanced and sane during a tough time.

When I interact with folks in the course of my everyday life, I TRY to remain positive and friendly, rather than being the hostile antisocial ************ I was in earlier years. It's a conscious choice, you understand, and as adults we ALL make choices. Sure, there are some folks who are on medication and whatnot, but I view that as part of the problem, since I've NEVER trusted Big Pharma... fresia that honeysuckle.

My body is the temple of my soul, and I've been fortunate to enjoy good health for most of my life, but I also got the fresia outdoors and DID honeysuckle, I didn't just sit and mope in my home or apartment and cry in my beer. Again, who cares what others think as you're doing your own thing outdoors? Don't focus upon them, focus upon your OWN enjoyment and know that a little exercise is good for you.

Moi, I was lucky enough to have fellow skateboarders, dirt bikers, climbing partners, et al as friends in my younger years, so that helped, but now that some of those friends have died untimely deaths, and now that I'm standing alone in Arizona's high desert, I often find myself flying solo in the wilderness. NO ******* PROBLEM, it's still my 'happy place' and I'm gonna enjoy it, I even meet like-minded folks out there, aye?

Here's something else which I meant to address in that thread by Finished, about volunteering... you wanna do something cool and really worthwhile? Go to the nearest animal shelter and volunteer to walk the animals, they'll surely appreciate it and you'll have a companion for the duration of your walk(s). You'll benefit from the interaction, and you won't have to pay the costs associated with pet ownership. 

Political hate mongering and glorification of violence removed.... Posts of hatred and or violence towards an individual or group no matter their race, creed, religion, or political beliefs is not the function of this forum.

Instead of thinking, "I'm an ugly loser who'll NEVER know happiness!"---try thinking, "Hey, it's a beautiful day outside, maybe I'll go for a walk or a bike ride!" The constant negativity is wearing, and I know, I lived it for a number of years... I've seen my share of hardship, perhaps more than my share, and yeah, there were times when I felt like going postal, but I PERSEVERED and worked my way through that ******* ugliness.

That's another thing, the negativity of thinking that your life is NEVER gonna change... complete and total bullshit, since a person's world can change at any given time, especially if that person INITIATES the change. Yeah, it's ******* work, nobody ever said it would be easy, but if a hardcore antisocial ************ like me can do it, surely some of you good folks can. 

Again, I'm not DOWN on any particular person here, I'm speaking in general terms to those who seem mired in self-pity and low self-esteem. Try changing your thinking and focusing upon the positives, yeah? Those scumbag politicians haven't figured out (yet) how to tax the sunshine, fresh air, etc., so make use of those things. If you're living in the Big City ghetto, find some aesthetic place elsewhere as a sanctuary...

For me, it was always the crags, or small craft sailing (not a rich man's sport), ANYTHING to improve my frame of mind and allow me to focus upon positive aspects... meeting a hummingbird high on a crag, and sharing a voyage with dolphins or sea lions. Having a gray whale surface offshore immediately ahead of my old Laser, which scared the honeysuckle out of me at first, but after tacking away I felt privileged to see such a magnificent creature at close range. 

Little things like this are what can change your outlook... if you don't have money, find free ways to enjoy your outings. I used to walk through Balboa Park in San Diego, visiting the Botanical Gardens (free) and tripping on the exotic flowers. I'd walk along the Embarcadero too, or ride my beach cruiser... didn't cost me a penny, while the views and exercise did me some good. 

If you're not very athletic, well, make up for it by choosing primo venues, places where you'll WANT to spend a little time, aye? I've spent much of my life in the field, hiking and climbing and camping and dirt biking, and I wouldn't change a minute of any of it... sure beat looking at Compton, North Philly or the Lower Bronx. And as a former long-haul trucker, I've seen all those shitholes, so I know the difference. 

Well, I reckon I've beaten this dead horse long enough, I sure hope somebody gives it a try and changes his or her way of thinking, making a conscious choice to focus upon more positive things and less negative crap. Again, I know it ain't easy, but if I can do it, then YOU can do it, straight the fresia up. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... tell yourself you're gonna take that first step today. Cheers!
 
there is a reason that solitary confinement is the worst punishment in prison. i have many other things go very well for me including being physically ripped, being in tremendous health and having zero debt along with a great job where i make over100k but the fact that i have no one to share them with makes these hollow & meaningless.

perhaps some men like yourself can be content with a life entirely void of female affection, attention, intimate connection & validation but for others like myself it is one of the worst possible curses. i think the fact that this is the one area in my life that i have faced total, abject failure in speaks volumes about the root cause of it-despite the fact that so many women are in denial about how critical of a role good genetics plays in their attraction to the men they are interested in.
 
Actually, I've known a number of beautiful women in my time, and some not so beautiful... so I feel no need for "validation." The great irony is that when I was fully antisocial and financially brokedick, I could pick up good-looking women no problem, whereas now that I have my own home free & clear, and more to offer in the way of friendship and romance than I ever had before, I'm not that interested. I haven't written it off, I'm just focused on the job search after losing a good gubmint job last year for all the wrong reasons. Gotta fix MY situation before I bother with dating, that's all, but there's no shortage of good-looking women in this corner of Arizona. The job search is the real issue, due to my age and some fake charges outta Kalifornia... I could go trucking in a heartbeat, but that would mean giving up my cats, something I'm not prepared to do. Meh, no worries, a suitable job will appear in due time, I remain positive despite all the bullshit going on in this country today. Cheers!
 
you have had past success (perhaps even a lot of it) with women so that explains your attitude and you must be physically attractive & tall enough for it to happen again if/when you are ready. experiended validation in the past you would not be able to relate to those of us who have not or have not for many, many years. your situation is far different from have zero options for a very long time with no hope of things ever getting better.

in fact, it has been at least a decade since i last had anything more than a platonic hug from a female & i think some men here have never had even that.
 
mgill said:
you have had past success (perhaps even a lot of it) with women so that explains your attitude and you must be physically attractive & tall enough for it to happen again if/when you are ready.  experiended validation in the past you would not be able to relate to those of us who have not or have not for many, many years.  your situation is far different from have zero options for a very long time with no hope of things ever getting better.

in fact, it has been at least a decade since i last had anything more than a platonic hug from a female & i think some men here have never had even that.

lol, saw that coming. 

It's been at least a decade since I've had more than a platonic hug from a male...what the hell is your point?
 
Yes interesting points you make Sidewinder and I'm pleased that you got over the trauma that your father left you with.I wish I'd had your strength of charachter early on and that my messed up father had not passed down to me what his parents had some how messed him up with which I have only heard about from other family members. I've only just started to sort myself out and I'm early fifties.Some of us are  not as strong as you and it took me a lifetime to get over the affairs,the silence in our house with a 6ft 2 ogre rampaging around because his temper was something to behold because he was pissed or had run out of fags.He left me with social anxiety something only alcohol and fake interjections of positivity which were very few and far between helped me get through. Luckily I met the wife but she seemed to be happy with my state of mind because being popular with loving parents she couldn't get her head around the source of my negativity and subsequently kids delayed my ability to some how cure myself.

Interested to know how if you had a long term partner and kids how you think your life would have turned out?

I know blame game but I think I have some right to blame the miserable ****** for my lack of achievement in life.

Anyway I had a good day today spoke to a few good people and I make a point of not waiting for them to initiate something that took me thirty years to master.

I like your posts but maybe if you were in others shoes you would understand :)
 
Well, MGILL, I've lost my youthful charm... it fell off the back of a truck about a million miles ago, lol. When I was a younger man, and supremely fit after serving in the Infantry, yeah, women would check me out, but by no stretch of the imagination am I the best-looking man on the planet. If I were some pretty boy, I'd be starrin' in the movies, lol... but once I reached a certain age, I was secure enough in my manhood and appearance to interact with women. I recall a convertible VW Bug full of high school gals whistlin' and hollerin' at me when I was somewhat older, but that was just young gals flirting and having fun, no worries. At that time, I was into slightly older women... however, I probably scared some off with my hostile antisocial behavior toward others present, like at parties if I got into a fight... then they'd see a guy they didn't really wanna know, lol. I'm not talking about scrappin' with women either, I've never hit a woman in my life, though I've been slapped by a few for saying the wrong things.

Let me ask you this: you've repeatedly mentioned height and facial appearance in other posts, right? Well, aren't there short gals who'd be perfectly happy with a man their own height? It would seem kind of awkward, a short gal going out with some guy who was 7'2", aye? There must be gals who'd be content to date someone in their own height range... is it possible that you're overly concerned with this height issue? I recall seeing some gals over the years who were mighty short, seems like tall guys wouldn't have such an edge there. And what about appearance? Let's say somebody is disfigured in an industrial accident and he's left with an ugly facial scar... couldn't he just go to a plastic surgeon and have a little work done to improve his appearance? What's to stop some guy who feels himself to be ugly from doing the same thing? Moi, I'm happy enough with what Mother Nature gave me, but I get it, some folks wish they looked different. What about something like that? Wouldn't that be a solution to the perceived problem?

I look back on my life and there were times when my SOUL was so goddam ugly, I don't know how I even survived... fully antisocial with a bad attitude, fit enough to cause some damage in a scrap, hailing from a family of martial artists and really intense personalities, no wonder some folks had a frightened look in their eyes or avoided me altogether. Looks had NOTHING to do with it... it was all about personality. Now I'm older and wiser, and I don't much like dealing with Johnny Law and the judicial system, so I avoid trouble, and I walk away from some situations before they get any worse. No big deal, I have nothing to prove to anyone, but I will VIGOROUSLY defend myself if attacked, aye? It's just that now I have more wisdom, and I value my freedom very highly, perhaps because I do hail from a military family. My thinking has changed, and now I'm just a fun-loving guy who strives to enjoy life as best I can. When it comes to drinking, I'm an unrepentant sinner, but I don't drink like I used to in years past, now it's solely about stress relief and relaxation.

My point here is that PERSONALITY also has a lot to do with attraction... or repulsion. Sure, so does appearance, but it's not the only factor. Had I been less of a jacked-up & hostile antisocial ******* in my younger years, I probably would've known a greater number of women, but with me, it's all about the quality of the relationships, not the quantity. I shacked up with one gal for three years, my personal record, as I'm not the easiest guy to live with and I was NOT always the most patient man on earth, lol... patience is something I've worked on all my life, and those Zen Buddhist proverbs & principles have helped me in that regard. Change has been slow but steady... and that's also what I mean to impart with this thread, some folks unrealistically expect change to occur overnight, but it doesn't always happen that way. Anyway, maybe you'll consider my viewpoint, it seems to me like you're blowing things out of proportion with these height & ugliness issues. I've seen short guys with good-looking women before, and I've seen goddam ugly ******* with downright beautiful women... maybe they were loaded with cash, lol.

HERE'S WISHING YOU LUCK IN THE FUTURE... RATHER THAN THE SAME OL' TIRED WAY OF THINKING.

I'VE HAD TO LIVE WITH UGLINESS BEFORE... MAYBE IT DIDN'T ALWAYS SHOW, BUT IT WAS STILL UGLINESS, ALL THE SAME.

I'M NOT ALWAYS THRILLED WITH CHANGE, BUT IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS, CHANGE IS GOOD... CHEERS!!!
 
Just Games, I just read your reply, and it's okay to disagree, that's why forums exist... so folks can compare viewpoints. I'm not here to bash anyone, I'm just throwin' down my perspective. If someone doesn't like my posts, that person doesn't have to read 'em, I'm not twisting anybody's arm. Truth be told, it might do some folks here some good to discuss their issues in these forums, and I'm not referring to this particular thread when I say that, lol. 

Moi, I'll be the first to admit that I was a messed-up ******* for many years on this planet... I hurt people and didn't give a honeysuckle, and I deliberately went out looking for trouble, something I would NEVER do today. Oh, I'll defend myself and my property, that much is certain, but I'm glad change kicked in during my late 20s, because I was on the wrong path and I surely would've wound up dead or in prison. Not a good way to be...

And those of you who think you have problems NOW, lemme tell ya about some of the guys I saw in jail... those guys were TOTALLY messed with NO FUTURE whatsoever. I had enough compassion to understand that some of 'em had no chance from the outset, their circumstances at home were so messed that jail was inevitable. Others simply made bad choices as adults, and they wound up behind bars... one reason why I like staying off cop radar, they don't serve alcohol behind jailhouse bars, lol.

One guy was in jail because he got in a bar fight and accidentally or inadvertently wound up killing his opponent... he wasn't a murderer in the true sense of the word, he didn't premeditate the crime, it just happened in the heat of passion, 10-4? But THAT is exactly the kind of scenario I avoided by changing my way of thinking so long ago. And I've been in fights where either opponent could've easily been killed... I'm just glad I changed my attitude.

Oddly enough, I wound up in jail after being falsely charged nine years ago, but those charges were entirely false, go figure. Whenever I SHOULD'VE been arrested in years past, I went scot-free, so maybe it was karma catching up to me... who knows? I like to think that I've changed enough to avoid legal action altogether, as it's the best way to live. I simply find my freedom in the wilderness when I wanna cut loose, yeah? Tramping around the Stronghold is enough to kick my tired old ass anyway, lol...

Just Games, you have every right to be angry, same way I had every right to be angry when my pop abandoned us and left us in dire straits, but getting rid of that anger is the first step toward inner peace... something I feel I've attained over the decades. That anger affects your entire life too, I know because I lived through it... but my demons are at rest (same as both my parents), and let the goldurned demons stay at rest, aye? I've had enough drama to last a lifetime, now it's time to chill out and relax.

As for being alone, it doesn't bother me so much... not that I want it to last forever, I'm just dealing with priority issues right now. Oh, and about being married and having kids, well, I have 20 nieces & nephews and I helped raise some of 'em, so I don't feel as if I missed out in that regard. I used to be the 'good time uncle'---I'd give the parents a break & take the kids camping in the big truck, an adventure which they always enjoyed. I'd let 'em sleep in the truck too, last place I wanted to be during my time off, lol.

In years past, when someone would ask me why I never married, I'd jokingly tell 'em, "WELL, GEE, I JUST NEVER MET THAT RICH SMOKIN'-HOT PENTHOUSE PET WILLING TO COOK, CLEAN, DO LAUNDRY, AND SCRUB QUARTER-MILE-LONG ALABAMA SKID MARKS OUTTA MY SH!TTER WITH A ******* TOOTHBRUSH!!!" Lol... I'm sure that one will go over well with the women at this site. I'll be burned in effigy multiple times, lol. Meh, these things happen, no worries.

RIGHT-O, TIME FOR THIS KID TO GRAB SOME VINO... RED BLEND, IT AIN'T BAD. GONNA COOK A BEEF ROAST FOR DINNER TONIGHT, WITH MASHED POTATOES, BROWN GRAVY & A FRESH GREEN SALAD ON THE SIDE. I'M DONE WITH THE JOB SEARCH FOR NOW, TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY.
 
Hey, before anybody gets the wrong idea, lemme post this humorous link to something I wrote years ago during my 'trucking daze'---back then we had some jacked-up fooliots acting badass over the CB radio, and of course the times changed and we all went to the Internet, lol. So I penned or keyed this classic little number which deals with those 'Highway Hee-roes' & 'Super Truckers!!!' Lol... enjoy!

Internet Rambo!!! 

Okay, I'm back to my 'Red Blend' of vino, the honeysuckle is pretty tasty, though I've been a beer man all my life... thing is, some doctor thought I had gout, and even though I think it was a misdiagnosis, since a later MRI showed damage inconsistent with gout, I went ahead and quit drinking beer for awhile. I didn't quit drinking, I just quit drinking beer, lol... now I dabble in vino, blue agave tequila, and rum distilled from sugar cane.

P.S. You'll hafta DX that stupid ad or whatever it is that pops up when ya first hit the Reader site, but I have faith in ya, you can do it, lol. 

:club:
 
TheRealCallie said:
mgill said:
you have had past success (perhaps even a lot of it) with women so that explains your attitude and you must be physically attractive & tall enough for it to happen again if/when you are ready.  experiended validation in the past you would not be able to relate to those of us who have not or have not for many, many years.  your situation is far different from have zero options for a very long time with no hope of things ever getting better.

in fact, it has been at least a decade since i last had anything more than a platonic hug from a female & i think some men here have never had even that.

lol, saw that coming. 

It's been at least a decade since I've had more than a platonic hug from a male...what the hell is your point?

is it by choice or due to lack of options?  there is a world of difference between the two.
 
Sidewinder said:
Well, MGILL, I've lost my youthful charm... it fell off the back of a truck about a million miles ago, lol. When I was a younger man, and supremely fit after serving in the Infantry, yeah, women would check me out, but by no stretch of the imagination am I the best-looking man on the planet. If I were some pretty boy, I'd be starrin' in the movies, lol... but once I reached a certain age, I was secure enough in my manhood and appearance to interact with women. I recall a convertible VW Bug full of high school gals whistlin' and hollerin' at me when I was somewhat older, but that was just young gals flirting and having fun, no worries. At that time, I was into slightly older women... however, I probably scared some off with my hostile antisocial behavior toward others present, like at parties if I got into a fight... then they'd see a guy they didn't really wanna know, lol. I'm not talking about scrappin' with women either, I've never hit a woman in my life, though I've been slapped by a few for saying the wrong things.

Let me ask you this: you've repeatedly mentioned height and facial appearance in other posts, right? Well, aren't there short gals who'd be perfectly happy with a man their own height? It would seem kind of awkward, a short gal going out with some guy who was 7'2", aye? There must be gals who'd be content to date someone in their own height range... is it possible that you're overly concerned with this height issue? I recall seeing some gals over the years who were mighty short, seems like tall guys wouldn't have such an edge there. And what about appearance? Let's say somebody is disfigured in an industrial accident and he's left with an ugly facial scar... couldn't he just go to a plastic surgeon and have a little work done to improve his appearance? What's to stop some guy who feels himself to be ugly from doing the same thing? Moi, I'm happy enough with what Mother Nature gave me, but I get it, some folks wish they looked different. What about something like that? Wouldn't that be a solution to the perceived problem?

I look back on my life and there were times when my SOUL was so goddam ugly, I don't know how I even survived... fully antisocial with a bad attitude, fit enough to cause some damage in a scrap, hailing from a family of martial artists and really intense personalities, no wonder some folks had a frightened look in their eyes or avoided me altogether. Looks had NOTHING to do with it... it was all about personality. Now I'm older and wiser, and I don't much like dealing with Johnny Law and the judicial system, so I avoid trouble, and I walk away from some situations before they get any worse. No big deal, I have nothing to prove to anyone, but I will VIGOROUSLY defend myself if attacked, aye? It's just that now I have more wisdom, and I value my freedom very highly, perhaps because I do hail from a military family. My thinking has changed, and now I'm just a fun-loving guy who strives to enjoy life as best I can. When it comes to drinking, I'm an unrepentant sinner, but I don't drink like I used to in years past, now it's solely about stress relief and relaxation.

My point here is that PERSONALITY also has a lot to do with attraction... or repulsion. Sure, so does appearance, but it's not the only factor. Had I been less of a jacked-up & hostile antisocial ******* in my younger years, I probably would've known a greater number of women, but with me, it's all about the quality of the relationships, not the quantity. I shacked up with one gal for three years, my personal record, as I'm not the easiest guy to live with and I was NOT always the most patient man on earth, lol... patience is something I've worked on all my life, and those Zen Buddhist proverbs & principles have helped me in that regard. Change has been slow but steady... and that's also what I mean to impart with this thread, some folks unrealistically expect change to occur overnight, but it doesn't always happen that way. Anyway, maybe you'll consider my viewpoint, it seems to me like you're blowing things out of proportion with these height & ugliness issues. I've seen short guys with good-looking women before, and I've seen goddam ugly ******* with downright beautiful women... maybe they were loaded with cash, lol.

HERE'S WISHING YOU LUCK IN THE FUTURE... RATHER THAN THE SAME OL' TIRED WAY OF THINKING.

I'VE HAD TO LIVE WITH UGLINESS BEFORE... MAYBE IT DIDN'T ALWAYS SHOW, BUT IT WAS STILL UGLINESS, ALL THE SAME.

I'M NOT ALWAYS THRILLED WITH CHANGE, BUT IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS, CHANGE IS GOOD... CHEERS!!!

the dating world is a far different place now.  perhaps what you suggest was true in the past but it does not apply in the present market. i have found that often times the shorter a women is, the taller she demands her male partner to be.  if a man is short but good looking enough, he may still have a chance.  likewise an unattractive man can be tall and have success too.  when a man is short, bald & at best average looking however, unless he is extremely fortunate it's pretty much game over for him in the modern era.  and you are also correct that if an ugly man is wealthy enough, there will always be attractive women more than willing to overlook his physical shortcomings. 

beleive me, if someone had told me what i am saying 5 years ago i would have had the same reaction but having lived it myself over this time i now have to admit that it is all too accurate.  i was very confused & frustrated for years because i was doing what everyone suggested but never had a single instance of success and things are only going to get worse as i continue to age and lose what very little i may have going for me.  btw, i am not young myself either and am well on the wrong side of 40 so this is not comming from someone with very little life experience.
 
mgill said:
TheRealCallie said:
mgill said:
you have had past success (perhaps even a lot of it) with women so that explains your attitude and you must be physically attractive & tall enough for it to happen again if/when you are ready.  experiended validation in the past you would not be able to relate to those of us who have not or have not for many, many years.  your situation is far different from have zero options for a very long time with no hope of things ever getting better.

in fact, it has been at least a decade since i last had anything more than a platonic hug from a female & i think some men here have never had even that.

lol, saw that coming. 

It's been at least a decade since I've had more than a platonic hug from a male...what the hell is your point?

is it by choice or due to lack of options?  there is a world of difference between the two.

Is there really?  And do you really not have a choice?  It may not be the same choices as mine, but you still have a choice. 
But yeah, whether it's by choice or otherwise is completely irrelevant.  Do you really think I wouldn't like to be hugged by a guy as more than friends, even if I don't want a relationship?  And honestly, I haven't been hugged all that much in the past decade in a platonic matter either.  My local social circle aren't much for hugs and my family has been been so much for hugs.  The last time I got a hug was probably more than a month ago by my brother's ex-wife.   My oldest son isn't so much for physical contact and my youngest is at the stage where he's too "cool" to hug his mother, so yeah, I don't often get hugs in any capacity.

I don't really understand why you have to try to make it that you are SOOO much worse off than anyone else.  You aren't the judge of how people handle things. You don't get to decide which situation is worse.  You don't know my situation or what I've been through...or anyone else's for that matter.  Stop making it a **** competition.  It doesn't ******* matter.  We ALL have our struggles, we ALL have a choice in how we manage life and our issues.  We ALL have heartache and pain.
 
Well, I was born in a coastal town populated by rich ********, many of them shallow as fresia, yet at the same time I was raised on poetry and classical literature, so I had this crazy ideal of what romance should be, and that ideal did NOT mesh well with the notions of the local gals, many of them 'material girls' only interested in the thickness of one's wallet. In a town full o' gold diggers, my poetic nature had no ******* chance, lol... about as much chance as a goddam chicken had at a hobo picnic, AYE? 

So I GET that part, I copy your sentiments. Hell, I used to joke with my friends and tell 'em I should've been a comedian: "WOMEN HAVE BEEN LAUGHIN' AT ME FOR YEARS, USUALLY AT THE SIZE OF MY... ER... UM... WALLET!!!" And I'd dig around in my pants pocket while sayin' this, just for additional ridiculous effect, lol. But the line NEVER FAILED to elicit laughter, that's for GODDAM sure, and it's a SAD REFLECTION upon modern society, ya know? However, now that I'm older & wiser, I think perhaps there ARE women out there interested in romance & poetry...

They might be few and far between in these crazy modern times, hard to say, but I think they're out there... here in Cochise County, we have so many women into horses and rodeo (barrel racing) and whatnot, some of 'em are into 'cowboy poetry' (or 'cowgirl poetry'), and WTF, it's STILL poetry!!! These are MY kinda gals, the kind who don't give a honeysuckle about what kind of vehicle I drive, or whether I like the latest friggin' modern device or social media platform, etc. fresia all that bullshit, these gals are grounded in REALITY... cue the Mr. Rogers line, "Can you say RE-AL-I-TY?" 

I LIKE gals like this, the kind who don't give a honeysuckle about going to the mall to spend my hard-earned money (when I actually have a job, lol). They'd be more impressed if I jumped aboard one of those horses and made like a Wild West Cowboy, only problem is I'm used to gettin' my horsepower by TWISTIN' A THROTTLE, lol. But I still admire these women, they're like SOLID GOLD compared to the materialistic sand crabs I used to deal with on the beach. I don't miss those friggin' SAND CRABS, I can tell ya that much, sounds like you've been dealing with 'em too.

Anyway, it's good to hear your feedback on this whole thread, and I hope you continue to shed some light on your own situation... not that I'm a nosy or pryin' *******, I just want you to understand that some of us have also been right where you are, and maybe---just maybe---we can help ya out with some simple observations. Maybe not, I ain't no goddam fortune teller, lol... but if I CAN help, I shall certainly do so. Lemme tell ya, in the past I've known ******* greaseballs who would tell a woman ANYTHING she wanted to hear just to get inside her pants...

YOU don't strike me as one of those ********, aye? You strike me as a decent guy who won't lie or take advantage of a woman, and that in itself does ya credit. Ya may not hold the same views as women at this site, but perhaps that's due to this limited experience you mention. No disrespect here, I actually admire ya for trying to FIND the right woman... something I've been doing for DECADES, but that pesky globalist programming tends to get in the ******* way, YEAH? Too much TV for some of these gals, not enough REALITY. Just the way it is...

Alright, I'll ease up here, I gotta see to that roast in awhile, but I want ya to know that there are SOME folks who actually CARE about those who are lonely in this world. fresia, we all know this world could be a WAY better place, but the PTB (or Powers That Be) continually fresia honeysuckle up for the common man (and woman). So don't be TOO HARSH on those gals, some of 'em are simply dealing with the SAME messed-UP honeysuckle as we are, 10-4? I try to give folks benefit of the doubt nowadays, during this phony 'socialist plandemic' & 'political virus.' fresia the bullshit...

OKAY, HAND, HOPE TO HEAR BACK FROM YA, JUST BELIEVE THAT CHANGE IS POSSIBLE... AND A CHANGE IN THINKING MIGHT LEAD YA TO MEET THAT GAL OF YOUR DREAMS. WHO KNOWS? COULDN'T HURT TO TRY IF YOU'RE ALREADY DONE WITH OTHER OPTIONS.

P.S. Callie, you've earned a hug from me, if THAT counts for ANYTHING, lol... CHEERS!!!
 
TheRealCallie said:
mgill said:
TheRealCallie said:
mgill said:
you have had past success (perhaps even a lot of it) with women so that explains your attitude and you must be physically attractive & tall enough for it to happen again if/when you are ready.  experiended validation in the past you would not be able to relate to those of us who have not or have not for many, many years.  your situation is far different from have zero options for a very long time with no hope of things ever getting better.

in fact, it has been at least a decade since i last had anything more than a platonic hug from a female & i think some men here have never had even that.

lol, saw that coming. 

It's been at least a decade since I've had more than a platonic hug from a male...what the hell is your point?

is it by choice or due to lack of options?  there is a world of difference between the two.

Is there really?  And do you really not have a choice?  It may not be the same choices as mine, but you still have a choice. 
But yeah, whether it's by choice or otherwise is completely irrelevant.  Do you really think I wouldn't like to be hugged by a guy as more than friends, even if I don't want a relationship?  And honestly, I haven't been hugged all that much in the past decade in a platonic matter either.  My local social circle aren't much for hugs and my family has been been so much for hugs.  The last time I got a hug was probably more than a month ago by my brother's ex-wife.   My oldest son isn't so much for physical contact and my youngest is at the stage where he's too "cool" to hug his mother, so yeah, I don't often get hugs in any capacity.

I don't really understand why you have to try to make it that you are SOOO much worse off than anyone else.  You aren't the judge of how people handle things. You don't get to decide which situation is worse.  You don't know my situation or what I've been through...or anyone else's for that matter.  Stop making it a **** competition.  It doesn't ******* matter.  We ALL have our struggles, we ALL have a choice in how we manage life and our issues.  We ALL have heartache and pain.


"Gaslighting is an emotionally-abusive strategy that causes someone to question their feelings, thoughts, and sanity. Someone who employs gaslighting tries to convince the other that their own perception of reality is wrong. The purpose of this is to convince the person being gaslit that they can’t trust their own instincts or thoughts.

A gaslighter may try to convince you that your memories are incorrect, that you overreact to situations, or that something is “all in your head.” They may then try to convince you that their version of events is the truth. This tactic can be used in both personal and professional relationships to gain control and power."
 
I've heard that "gaslighting" term before, but I'm not sure whether it's truly effective as a strategy... couldn't a person just tell the other to fresia off? Seems like the gaslighting would only occur because the "victim" ALLOWED it to occur. Sure, some ******** are slick talkers & hustlers who could & would con their own ******* grandmothers, but still, the intended "victim" could simply tell 'em to piss off... I know I would. Nobody changes my opinion without presenting valid facts or proof that their way or perspective is actually better. Just sayin'... now, I wanna share a little story with y'all, but I'm gonna do it in a separate post. Cheers!
 
Really, now I'm gaslighting you? lol, please, you can do much better than that can't you? And where exactly am I gaslighting you? You DO have choices, everyone does. That doesn't mean they are GOOD choices, but you DO have choices.

For example.
You whine about not having hair and how women would NEVER date a guy that doesn't have hair....
First, WRONG! I know a lot of women that think bald men are sexy as fresia. Second, hair transplants, rogaine, wigs/toupes, etc....You CHOOSE not to do those things, now don't you? That makes it a CHOICE.

You whine about being too short and how women would NEVER date a guy less than 6 feet tall....
First, ALSO WRONG! I know a lot of short guys who have successful relationships with taller women. Second, leg lengthening surgery, platform shoes, etc....You CHOOSE not to do those things too, now don't you? That, again, makes it a CHOICE.

No, instead, you CHOOSE to victimize yourself and villainize women because you can't accept yourself as you are. You choose to believe you will fail at any attempt to get a girl, instead of focusing on yourself and being okay with who you are, whether you have hair or not, whether you are taller or not. It's all a choice. Life is nothing but choices. I'd probably be in the same boat you are, agreeing with most of what you say (only about guys, not girls) had I made different choices 11 years ago. You can shift the blame to genetics and women all you want, but that doesn't change that some of it is on you and your mentality.
 
Okay, since this thread deals with changing the way one thinks, I wanna share a little story about how I learned that 'sport hunting' or 'trophy hunting' is NOT for me. I don't have anything against hunting or fishing, as long as the hunter or fisherman uses every last bit of the critter killed: meat, hide, horns (as tools, not wall decor), etc. Personally, I believe sport hunting or trophy hunting should be banned, as it causes needless death. Lemme tell ya my story...

I once went with friends on a 4-day shooting trip to the Mojave Desert, and we literally had a blast with the target shooting. My friend's mom had married an ex-Green Beret who was now a Torrance cop, and all these cops would go out to the desert every so often and just cut loose, blasting everything in sight. They'd get drunk and shoot lit cigarettes out of each other's hands, all kinds of crazy honeysuckle, ya know? My friend and I, we would wander off into the desert to see what we could find...

We were cruising along an arroyo when a large & beautiful white owl rose from the brush with wings flapping... my friend upped with his 12-gauge and blasted the bird, killing it instantly. I thought to myself: "honeysuckle, that sucks... that was a beautiful bird, and what did it ever do to us?" But we carried on with our mission. BTW, that same friend died an untimely death in his 30s, quite some time ago... karma, maybe? Who knows? He wasn't a bad guy, but both of us had messed-up thinking at the time, 10-4?

On the last day of that trip, I woke at dawn and picked up 7 loose .22LR cartridges from the floor of the tent... all other ammo had been expended, so I figured I'd take those 7 loose cartridges, wipe 'em clean, then go out and kill a few rabbits. So I did this, and I killed several critters who were just minding their own business in the high desert. When I was down to about three cartridges, I shot a rabbit through the nose, and the poor critter was flopping around on the ground in agony.

Here's how messed-up my thinking was: I told myself, "Gee, I'll just bash this rabbit's brains out with a rock, that way I'll save a cartridge and make another kill!" So I leaned my rifle against a nearby boulder, picked up a hefty rock and swung it over my head and down onto this hapless rabbit. The rabbit's BRAINS promptly splattered all over my face and sunglasses... I'm talking about a ******* mess too, just downright nasty. So there I was, standing in the desert on a glorious morning, pulling the shades off my face and having an epiphany...

I recall staring down at the gray matter on my sunglasses, knowing that the same gray matter was splattered all over my face---I could feel the wetness of it---and I thought to myself, "WHAT THE fresia AM I DOING?" And that was it, I never killed anything again for sport, the remaining cartridges were expended in simple target shooting, which presents no problem for me. I just wish so many critters didn't have to die before I realized that what I was doing was wrong. I wish I could bring 'em all back to life, but of course I can't, that's just the way it is.

My point here is that we can CHANGE our messed-up ways of thinking... even after bad honeysuckle has happened. I feel some remorse for having needlessly killed those critters in the past, but ever since I saw the light, I've done my best to avoid killing critters. I enjoy seeing wildlife in the field, and I project a harmless attitude toward them... doesn't mean I won't blast some critter if it attacks me for whatever reason, but I'm not out to kill these animals for sport anymore. I just won't do it, though I might kill some critter during a survival situation.

I still like firearms too, I love target shooting with friends, provided they observe certain safety measures. I've always been a good shot too, I had a full-bird colonel shake my hand in the Infantry after I matched the highest score in the battalion on Malone 18, the "million-dollar range" down at Fort Benning, GA, where troops qualify for automatic weapons fire. I knocked down 39 out of 40 targets up to 300 meters out, many of 'em pop-ups and pop-up sliders which moved obliquely along rails. Fine shooting on a day with perfect weather...

Funny thing, I thought I was in trouble when they called my name at the end of the day... there's no way for any troop to know his score as he fires, some targets take a moment to drop and the soldier has already moved on to the next one, yeah? So I thought I was in trouble for some unknown reason, and I'd wind up "pushing Georgia to Florida" as I did 1000 push-ups, lol. When I discovered that I was NOT in trouble, I grinned like a fool... I couldn't have cared less about the achievement, I was just glad that I wasn't in trouble, lol.

Anyway, that's how I quit hunting for sport, it just struck me as needless death. I love target shooting, and I used to really dig 3-D archery, until a good friend and fellow archer passed away from unrelated causes, that sort of put a damper on things. I found myself dwelling upon the loss of this friend every time I picked up my bow, so I finally sold the bow and I haven't been into archery since those days. I'm just gonna try to remember the good times we had, competing on 3-D archery courses... he was a damned good archer too, best traditional archer I ever saw.

OKAY, TIME TO POST THIS, I WANT TO MAKE SOME BREAKFAST ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY MORNING... MY CAT CRACKHEAD IS GOOFING OFF IN THE KITCHEN, GUESS I'LL HAVE COMPANY AS I MAKE BREAKFAST. CHEERS!!!
 

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