Self-motivation (need advice)

[Lonely girl 28]

I'm the type of person that when I'm in a relationship, I'm strongly motivated, but when I'm not, I struggle greatly. It's embarrassing to admit to, but I know I have a problem that I want to change.

So my question is How do I motivate myself?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Finished]

I'm guessing you're stressed when you're not in a relationship. So I'm thinking motivation is not the problem. It's figuring out how to be okay without being in a relationship.

 

[user 139760]

That sounds a lot like emotional dependency. You need to work on listening to yourself and knowing you don't NEED anyone in life. Do stuff that appeals to you and bask on your own presence.

 

[Blue Bob]

I’m like you, so I don’t know if I have good advice, but from my experience I’d advise you to find a new interest and dive in. Learning something new helps motivate me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I honestly dont believe relying on motivation is healthy, as it will always fluctuate, I believe in routine. A set solid and solo routine, stick to it, you will find yourself performing even when your mind says no

 

[randomguy]

For me It was all about dopamine. Dopamine has a biological connection to our motivation.

Try boosting your diet with dopamine filled foods, a couple of turmeric capsules everyday works wonders for me. For an extra kick, make sure you’re eating food with plenty of natural probiotics, like yogurt, kefir and ( raw and unpasteurised ) sauerkraut, and natural glucose, which occurs in raw fruits and nuts.

Listen to your favourite music. Listening to music you enjoy releases dopamine in the brain and sends pleasure signals to the rest of your body, according to research

Make time to meditate. Along with increasing dopamine, meditating may enhance learning, increase creativity, promote deep relaxation, and improve focus and concentration. If you’re not the “sitting still in silence” type, you can achieve similar benefits from creative hobbies, When you’re immersed in creative types of activities the brain can get into a meditative state..

Get moving. Even a 20-minute walk will yield positive results. And if you opt for a short, high intensity workout, it can propel your dopamine to new heights.

Improve your health, and you’ll improve your motivation.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I agree with Ceno about the routine. Make a list of what needs done or what you want to accomplish. Make it really detailed with steps if you have to. And then force yourself to do them. No excuses. Give yourself a day or two off, but do it every other day.
Set goals for yourself and get them done...whether you want to or not.

 

[Claudia1794]

I honestly dont believe relying on motivation is healthy, as it will always fluctuate, I believe in routine. A set solid and solo routine, stick to it, you will find yourself performing even when your mind says no

Routine is good, but it is easy to fall into a safe zone with routine which is not good, for me at least. When something disrupts or interferes with a routine there's that chance of throwing everything into a tailspin. So routine good but so strict that you are running on autopilot is not so good. As far as motivation, Ive found that different things have been effective in different stages of my life. One thing that has always been helpful is physical activity. You've really just got to get the blow flowing. Once you start moving about you will find that motivation. That's what works for me. Stay away from Debbie and Donny Downer....You know the life sucking, soul crushing shitheads.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Routine is good, but it is easy to fall into a safe zone with routine which is not good, for me at least. When something disrupts or interferes with a routine there's that chance of throwing everything into a tailspin. So routine good but so strict that you are running on autopilot is not so good. As far as motivation, Ive found that different things have been effective in different stages of my life. One thing that has always been helpful is physical activity. You've really just got to get the blow flowing. Once you start moving about you will find that motivation. That's what works for me. Stay away from Debbie and Donny Downer....You know the life sucking, soul crushing shitheads.

You're right there Claudia, I think what I mean is, it's better to rely on discipline over motivation

 

[Claudia1794]

You're right there Claudia, I think what I mean is, it's better to rely on discipline over motivation

I gotcha. My sister is the same way, always has been and probably always will be. I mean when I was in my teens playing sports discipline was key. When I didn't have that I found that artistic projects kept me motivated. Situations change and some times the things that used to work dont work anymore at least not to the same degree. Its probably just the type of person I am.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Routine is good, but it is easy to fall into a safe zone with routine which is not good, for me at least. When something disrupts or interferes with a routine there's that chance of throwing everything into a tailspin. So routine good but so strict that you are running on autopilot is not so good. As far as motivation, Ive found that different things have been effective in different stages of my life. One thing that has always been helpful is physical activity. You've really just got to get the blow flowing. Once you start moving about you will find that motivation. That's what works for me. Stay away from Debbie and Donny Downer....You know the life sucking, soul crushing shitheads.

I think you need a routine, but also the ability to change that routine when it gets too easy. To me, a routine isn't necessarily set in stone, that's where the goals come in. Set them and keep expanding on them and/or setting different goals when you accomplish them. Change is a part of life to me, so I guess it's just ingrained or something and I don't think about it. I suppose I should include that part because back when I was in my rut, I didn't consider the changing it up part either.

 

[Blue Bob]

Another thing I do for motivation is to keep a daily journal. When I’m working on projects I like to document what I do each day to support them and at the end of the day I don’t want to have nothing to write. That motivates me to do things.

 

[Deosil]

I can't really add anything in regards to motivation and relationships but I am a very unmotivated person. Alot of that is to do with me health issues. I try to set myself little challanges everyday. I don't make plans, I just wake up and try to set myself small goals for the day that are dependant on how I'm feeling. If I feel ok, I will set myself harder goals and smaller ones if I'm not feeling so good.
Hope this helps.