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Estreen

Estreen

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
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That's how I feel half/most of the time a lot lately. Blah. I don't care so much about actual sex. Just want to be wanted and chased after and just...feel satisfied I guess.

I feel a little less of woman after each day passes it seems like. Cos...I HAVE a bf, even if it is long distance....he like....seems to not really care about it, like his drive is non-existent. I don't f***ing know....
 
Man I know it's got to be tough. I'm feeling the same way except I don't have anyone in my life. The last time for me was a regretted one-night stand on new years so that's over 8 months ago. I barely remember that since I was more drunk than I've ever been in my life. Before that it was like in November 2007, so I'm pretty frustrated.

I'm more frustrated with not having anyone to spend time with or talk to romantically. You know, feeling loved and needed, having a companion.

Long distance is especially tough too- I know how you feel there. The only person I almost classify as a girlfriend in my life was long distance. Over a period of a year of really being into each other romantically I only saw her about 3 or 4 times.

I know going without is enough to drive a person crazy, but at least you do have someone. I know it's tough right now, but you should tell him how you feel. Well I guess I don't know much about your situation but all I can say really is hang in there.
 
Yeah I'm glad at times...but at other times it makes me feel worse at the times that I don't feel very connected. Worse because...I can't just go off and find someone for the moment even if I wanted to, and I'm not talkin' about getting laid; just to even...be with, in that way. Then it'd be emotionally cheating. So it's like a feeling of being trapped but not knowing what to do because ultimately you don't want to permanently leave.
 
If you LET GO of the feelings wanting...whatever that maybe.

Sometimes you might need to talk about, write about, share about...let it out and let it go.
This way you'll recognize that feeling .
You might even pick up that feeling again...that's ok. You can chose to let go again.
Sometimes you'll hold on to that feeling..that's okay too.

That's okay too..if you don't know..You don't have to figure it out. Just allow yourself to let go.

If you let go of the pains..there's peace/love beneath all of that.
The peace and love you have within yourself already.

Just know that you are WHOLE and COMPLETE already.

Yes everyone feels needed and wanted...you are not crazy or inadequat.

You are not your feelings...you feel your feelings.
You are not feelings of depression.
You are not feelings of lonliness.
You are not feelings of sadness.
You are Estreen...

It's okay to feel what you feel...let it go through you...that's okay too.

Learning how separate myself from my feelings took willingness and practice.
It felt extremely odd at first becuase it was a new concept to me.

Please don't take it the wrong way....These are the messages that I learned or gotten from
others. It helped me to cope and get through funkie episo or moments in my life.

"we will never be unhappy if we don't lean on people."
" I'm responsible for my own happiness"

There's nothing wrong with you loving your BF....just don't lean on him for your happiness.

It might seem odd and difficult at times....to apply these living tools to our families and love
ones...However we are programed from very childhood to give and recieve love and attention
through a reward system...
 
You're right, I don't like relying on others for happiness, but I can't seem to fulfill that happiness myself. I don't even know where to begin or what to do to really feel fulfilled.
 
Estreen said:
You're right, I don't like relying on others for happiness, but I can't seem to fulfill that happiness myself. I don't even know where to begin or what to do to really feel fulfilled.
Click to expand...

You are whole and complete already...You don't have to do anything
or earn it...

It just takes a while for you to recognize it.
The more you LET GO...the more you're remember your wholeness
and love within.

It's like a cleaning process or removing a vail....

As you recognize your wholeness and completeness.
Your intuition, gift, talent will start to shine through you.
You''ll learn to rocognized that and trust in it.
Turst in yourself, beliving in yourself...(less the guilt and shame)
It's like a knowing or rememberance

You'll start doing things that's of your love or and expression
of that love rather than to do it to earn love from others.

It's almost like a natural process...becuase you'll natraully
BE who you truley are.

You'll recognized the love, light and engery within you.

I'm going through the process..I'm not angery or depressed anymore.
I play my music, now. I even ask a woman out. I'm moving forward
with my life. I'll actaully get up on somedays and be really happy
for no particular reasons. I'm looking for employment again.
There's people in my life at the moment...actaully more than I want.

It's only been 3-4 months since I started working the letting go process.
It's actaully a very short time to experince the changes.
I belive my life will continue to get better.
 
I gave up with long distance relationships because I felt trapped in something that didn't satisfy me physically or emotionally and felt like it was going nowhere. I actually prefer being single and lonely than being in an ldr and lonely. I guess some people just deal with it better than others. I don't have any solutions for feeling that way sadly, but if you can get past it and eventually have a good relationship you've done pretty well.
 
tal said:
I gave up with long distance relationships because I felt trapped in something that didn't satisfy me physically or emotionally and felt like it was going nowhere. I actually prefer being single and lonely than being in an ldr and lonely. I guess some people just deal with it better than others. I don't have any solutions for feeling that way sadly, but if you can get past it and eventually have a good relationship you've done pretty well.
Click to expand...

I've had a couple long distance love interests. It is difficult and I'm pretty sure I'm done trying it.

((Estreen)), you have to do what's right for you and ultimately only you can decide what that is. We'll all still offer our support for you here though, you know this place is good for that.
 
Jesse said:
tal said:
I gave up with long distance relationships because I felt trapped in something that didn't satisfy me physically or emotionally and felt like it was going nowhere. I actually prefer being single and lonely than being in an ldr and lonely. I guess some people just deal with it better than others. I don't have any solutions for feeling that way sadly, but if you can get past it and eventually have a good relationship you've done pretty well.
Click to expand...

I've had a couple long distance love interests. It is difficult and I'm pretty sure I'm done trying it.

((Estreen)), you have to do what's right for you and ultimately only you can decide what that is. We'll all still offer our support for you here though, you know this place is good for that.
Click to expand...

Thank you.

I just have no idea what is best for me. I dunno if I'm truly meant to be with him or if I'm just settling, or if I'm dating above myself....and after almost 5 years...I gotta know.
 
Estreen said:
You're right, I don't like relying on others for happiness, but I can't seem to fulfill that happiness myself. I don't even know where to begin or what to do to really feel fulfilled.
Click to expand...

I'd suggest throwing yourself into a hobby. I find that if I really immerse myself into some activity, it helps me shove aside the crap that's bugging me.
 
cheaptrickfan said:
Estreen said:
You're right, I don't like relying on others for happiness, but I can't seem to fulfill that happiness myself. I don't even know where to begin or what to do to really feel fulfilled.
Click to expand...

I'd suggest throwing yourself into a hobby. I find that if I really immerse myself into some activity, it helps me shove aside the crap that's bugging me.
Click to expand...

Yes, when I get into something my problems do seem to be easier to deal with/more away from my mind, but sadly I don't really have a current hobby. =\
 
I do have sex regularly, but its unhealthy, I meet guys on Craigslist some of which are married but I do practice safe sex.
 
Estreen said:
I just have no idea what is best for me. I dunno if I'm truly meant to be with him or if I'm just settling, or if I'm dating above myself....and after almost 5 years...I gotta know.
Click to expand...

if he doesnt seem to care about what does or does not happen to your relationship, don't you think its time to let go? If this is just based on your speculations, then maybe you need to bring the question up. "Is this relationship worth saving?" Ask him if he thinks it is.

Communication is key when dealing with any relationship...

...and it shouldn't be like this,:club:.
 

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