Shy and introverted. What are some of the best options to meet someone.

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joecan

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I am in my early 60's retired with no friends or family. I only had two relationships in my life, last one ending years ago. I really don't want to use dating sites, but not sure what else to do. I have no hobbies or interests and when I was younger, it didn't bother me to be alone, but now it is unbearable. What are some of my best options?

Thank you.
 
Hm. Look on Meetup.com for groups in your area. Some of the meetings don't do anything besides get together and talk. Many cater to certain age groups. Some go out to eat together at new restaurants. Did you ever want to learn a new language? That's an easy way to meet people, you don't have to be great at it. You could keep trying options until you find something that you're comfortable enough with. Shyness can be hard to get over and being introverted probably means that socializing has an element of exhaustion for you. But, like everything, even socializing can take practice. Don't give up if you feel awkward at first. If you don't want to use dating sites (I don't blame you, though I do know people who have met spouses that way), then you need to get out into the world. Covid doesn't make that easier, of course. I would search the internet for things close by in your area and just try and be present out there. You say you have no interests, but is that true? You have absolutely no interests? What do you spend your day doing?
 
You say you have no hobbies or interests....surely that can't be true. NOTHING interests you at all? Find something and do it. Volunteer somewhere. If you are religious, go to church. Go to community events. As long as you are out there talking to people, you can literally meet people anywhere. Don't forget to say hi to people. :)
 
Hm. Look on Meetup.com for groups in your area. Some of the meetings don't do anything besides get together and talk. Many cater to certain age groups. Some go out to eat together at new restaurants. Did you ever want to learn a new language? That's an easy way to meet people, you don't have to be great at it. You could keep trying options until you find something that you're comfortable enough with. Shyness can be hard to get over and being introverted probably means that socializing has an element of exhaustion for you. But, like everything, even socializing can take practice. Don't give up if you feel awkward at first. If you don't want to use dating sites (I don't blame you, though I do know people who have met spouses that way), then you need to get out into the world. Covid doesn't make that easier, of course. I would search the internet for things close by in your area and just try and be present out there. You say you have no interests, but is that true? You have absolutely no interests? What do you spend your day doing?
I exercise every day, go to bookstores a couple of times a week. I do like to go to festivals, fairs, museums, etc, but it sucks going by yourself
 
Is there nothing, that you are interested in? Maybe you can find a new Hobby or/and community. It's never too late to start new.
 
I exercise every day, go to bookstores a couple of times a week. I do like to go to festivals, fairs, museums, etc, but it sucks going by yourself
There's a load of interests right there. There will defo be groups local to you on meetup, maybe a book club?, have a wee look see what it throws up.
 
Meetup.com but look for your age range groups and something you might be interested in. When i used to do it there were different age ranges from early 20s to 60s. You may find groups in your area of interest but you won't enjoy young crowd.
 
Personally I wouldn't bother trying to date around your age, but meetup.com would be the best option. There's all sorts of singles meetups where I live and a lot of 50+ people turn up. Also speed dating groups that cater to specific age ranges.
 
I am in my early 60's retired with no friends or family. I only had two relationships in my life, last one ending years ago. I really don't want to use dating sites, but not sure what else to do. I have no hobbies or interests and when I was younger, it didn't bother me to be alone, but now it is unbearable. What are some of my best options?

Thank you.
Find adult community centers in your area. The people there are lonely and seeking companionship too. They would be glad to see you walk in the doors. If I ever feel really lonely I will go to one. I already found two close to my place that I can go to. There's also a general community center where I can take classes with an open gym. I can even play indoor basket ball.
 
Joecan, as everyone suggests and you're already doing, getting out of the house is essential - for simple social interaction or deeper friendships. However, it's not enough to just put yourself in a public space with others; you need to be the first to initiate contact. It takes forced determination, but the rewards are gratifying.

I spent 3 months (alone as always) in the small, charming town of Mount Dora, FL last year. Every day I went for a walk around town and to the lake front, committed to greeting everyone I passed and stopping to converse with at least one person. I found both tourists and locals consistently responding favorably to my greetings, the dog walkers welcoming attention to them and their pets, and the fishermen always up for a chat. I had to be the assertive one to reach out, but a simple walk every day yielded wonderful social contact. That interaction didn't build any new friendships, but it gave me some daily gratifiction - and practice for being more outgoing in other situations.

Building friendships is harder than just getting a daily dose of social interaction, but it's most attainable via repeated contact. This could be seeing the same person at a gym, pool, rec center, library, park, or church every week. But once again, you usually need to be the assertive one. I've found that most people warm up after repeated friendly encounters, no matter how different or incompatible each may be. I've befriended people all over the world this way, eventually swapping emails or building friendships just because I sat down next to them many times and spoke first.

As a life long single, I've always found that it takes a concerted effort and commitment to meet people, build relationships, or maintain them. It gets tiring and frustrating over time, but giving up, staying home, and becoming a loner is not a good plan. We're here for a reason: to love God and to learn how to love people. Be bold with both and you'll be rewarded.
 
I want to thank everyone who replied, appreciate it, will have to look into meetup. I even looked up an ex from 10 years ago on FB. She messaged me back, sent me a friend request which I accepted and we messaged back and forth a couple of times with her asking me what I was presently up to etc. Then after a couple of weeks, I never heard back from her again. Don't know what happened with that, it did make me feel stupid.
 
I tried the meetup thing.... nothing local, closest was 100 miles away and was like for pregnant mothers.....lol....
 
I want to thank everyone who replied, appreciate it, will have to look into meetup. I even looked up an ex from 10 years ago on FB. She messaged me back, sent me a friend request which I accepted and we messaged back and forth a couple of times with her asking me what I was presently up to etc. Then after a couple of weeks, I never heard back from her again. Don't know what happened with that, it did make me feel stupid.

That's why she's an ex. For a reason. Never contact exes. I never do. They don't contact me. But i don't have social media accounts and i'm not listed anywhere. They wouldn't be able to find me even if they wanted to.
 
I feel better today cuz I went to two mild exercise classes for seniors, got the oil changed at good price and felt like I did something. It feels good to feel tried. Just wish I could make myself do something I like everyday.
 

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