L
Lonely Boy from OZ
Guest
The last 4 years my life have been dictated by my fear of people to the extent of never really leaving my house throughout that whole time. I kind of expected that I would leave my house some day and be fine and would be able to fit in with everyone. How wrong I was.
When im in public i am a complete and utter wreck. I cant stop shaking, I go from too much eye contact to too little and people seem to look at me like im repugnant.
Sometimes I would not even open my mouth, to talking non-stop BS and not being able to say the right words out.
That is probably the worst thing of it all - "the look". The way people look at you - like youre retarded, like youre a screwball - its devestating because I never used to experience this when I was alot younger. It makes me want to explode.
In the end nearly all of my social outings end in disappointment and more regrets.
When im in public i am a complete and utter wreck. I cant stop shaking, I go from too much eye contact to too little and people seem to look at me like im repugnant.
Sometimes I would not even open my mouth, to talking non-stop BS and not being able to say the right words out.
That is probably the worst thing of it all - "the look". The way people look at you - like youre retarded, like youre a screwball - its devestating because I never used to experience this when I was alot younger. It makes me want to explode.
In the end nearly all of my social outings end in disappointment and more regrets.