Sometimes, I annoy myself.

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Colster

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It has not been the greatest of days here on planet Colster.

Procrastination has become a new-ish issue. Initially, it crept in during the dwindling of summer. SAD has always a thing for me too. Although, not this year. No, I haven't felt the room for gloom. Instead, I'm happily housebound.

But, and this is where I contradict myself, I am beginning to question my reasons/excuses: am I really happy?

The morning was fuck-awfully wet, this a perfect excuse to stay indoors. A-ha, no excuse needed to avoid the masses. Things eased off temporarily around mid-afternoon, so I used this time to walk the dog, and place the bins out.

But as soon as the tasks had been completed, house festering resumed. My only redemption in this is, I cleaned like a man possessed. The bathroom was scrubbed, even the back of the U-bend. So much bleach and disinfectant went into that tiny room, that my eyes sting just entering.

Periodically, I would pause, gaze our of a window, and as I deeply suspect, find something else to clean, rather than mingle with the masses.

My cooker can now shame any showroom model, and my belly button has never smelt so fresh. Even dug that hair out from within the soap, it's only been there since 2019.

But in a slightly more serious tone, it is beginning to dwell on me, that I am procrastinating far too much. Finding things to distract me, possibly from me, or maybe people. Today's bad weather feels like an excuse, a too familiar excuse.

Mitigating: I don't exactly have anything that absolutely desperately needs to be done, places to go. The few things are best left to drier warmer days.

That still sounds like an excuse, and I'm the one writing it.

Argh, I don't know folks. I'm at a changing point in my life. I like this being alone, semi-retirement kinda thing. I don't actually have to do much. But am I using it as an excuse to stop me from doing more?

Argh... Sometimes, I annoy myself.
 
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Colster

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For the record. If I am ever found watching daytime tv, please put me out of my misery, and scatter my ashes where they are most likely to offend.
 

Colster

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That's the one with David Dick in Some, the mahogany coloured lothario for the Stannah Stair Lift generation.
 

littlefish555

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I had a dark period where the Price is Right was the highlight of my morning. Don't judge, smiling people winning cars legit made me happy.

Anyway, Colster, what's wrong with a clean house? A lot of people procrastinate cleaning by substituting other things, so to me you sound more squared away than a lot of single people I know. I get what you're saying though about the weather being a great "excuse" to stay in, although who is watching or caring what you do other than you anyway? Are you starting to want something more?
 

Colster

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I honestly don't know what I want. There are times when it all seems to be figured out. Others were it is all winged. And at the moment, a sense that I should be doing something else, only what?

I also acknowledge that over thinking is not helping, and thus I find myself some other task to distract, whilst procrastinating further.
 

littlefish555

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I honestly don't know what I want. There are times when it all seems to be figured out. Others were it is all winged. And at the moment, a sense that I should be doing something else, only what?

I also acknowledge that over thinking is not helping, and thus I find myself some other task to distract, whilst procrastinating further.
haha i wake up in the middle of the night just to overthink the last 4 decades. I get it.
 

ewomack

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There's a story from the Theravada lineage of Buddhism that sometimes helps me out in similar situations. A group of monks was told to move a pile of bricks to build a small building on the grounds of their monastery. After an hour or so, they moved the pile to the location indicated by the head monk. Then the head monk realized that he had misread the location, so he told them to move the bricks across the grounds to the different location. Some of the monks grumbled, but after another hour they moved the bricks to the new location. An hour or so later the head monk announced that the bricks had to get moved yet again, because the new building was now delayed and the bricks occupied a location where a ceremony was going to take place. One of the monks protested "Master! you told us to move the bricks there and then you told us to move them over there! Now we have to move them back to where they once were? Do we really have to move them again?" The head monk responded "doing it isn't the hard part, thinking about it is. Thinking takes far more effort than doing." This story reminded me of all the times on Sunday nights that I spent whining "Augh! I have to work tomorrow! It's going to suck!" and then I woke up and went to work the next day anyway and it wasn't always as awful as the thinking about it. What was worse? Actually working or thinking about how awful it was going to be to work? I wasted many Sundays, when I didn't have to work, thinking about how awful it was that I had to work the next day, but I didn't have to actually work during the times when I cursed the times that I had to work. Why did I waste those non-work hours? I was thinking myself into misery for no good reason. Though it's a hard habit to break, and I still sometimes whine about working, this story helps keep those feelings away sometimes, or at least helps to mitigate them. Sometimes if we take a break from ruminating and just exist for a while, things can become much easier. Being more on the cerebral and analytical side, I have difficulty with this, but I try.
 
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randomguy

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I've spent the last three days teaching myself Angus Youngs guitar parts from the first 3 AC/DC albums, I can now play them note for note.
I don't like bloody AC/DC that much, never have, the shit I do to stop myself seeking out substances to numb my brain aye.
 

Colster

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Ha, you should have chosen to okay the bass. Some of their songs have a bass line of 4-5 notes! 😁
 
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