Taking ownership of loneliness

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Zedr

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Nov 30, 2019
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I have literally no one and don't know how I'm supposed to go on. Last year I moved to a completely new area for work, several weeks later they let me down. I don't know anyone here and don't have the confidence to meet random strangers off the internet, so every day is spent alone. I know that waiting around is a waste of time and no one is coming to my rescue, the solution is to take action. But do what? Go where? I try to own the problem and it falls through my hands. I can barely scrap enough work to get by. Somehow I need to find the strength in myself to find a way because no one is coming to help.
 
Welcome to the forum! You are right about nobody coming to help you even if they are lonely too. For now you have to force yourself to being around other people. Then slowly force yourself to communicate with them. Talk about anything it doesn't matter. I think you need the practice. Consider it a job task. Maybe even schedule sessions as if it is a job. Don't consider it entertainment because it's not, well not yet anyway.
 
I have had to push myself out of my comfort zone...I found out no one is coming to knock on my door ask me to go for coffee, now I just go by myself. Funny enough there are others doing the same.
 
^ Perfect! When I was in my thirties I felt embarrassed to go to a restaurant be myself. But, one evening I really wanted to go. So, I got mad and said screw it, I'm going to just go. So, I did. The hostess asked how many in my party. I said just me. She asked if I was dining by myself tonight? I said yes. She seemed upset about it since I would be wasting an entire table. Luckily I was mad. So I stayed and waited to be seated. I discovered that I preferred eating alone. I could focus 100% on the food without the needless chit chat. I also got to enjoy all of the appetizers just for myself. I could hold of eating the last one as the last item I ate without having to be concerned about someone else grabbing it, taking one bite of it, and then wasting the rest of it. Soon after that I started going to restaurants only by myself. I really start to enjoy dining alone. When I got weird or disgusted looks I just smiled knowing I was having a much better time then many of the other diners. I also noticed there was no need to figure out who would pay what amount or how much of a tip each person should leave. I didn't have to listen to others complain that, so and so got a desert so they should pay more. Many times doing things alone is way better. I think over the years more people have started to figure that out.
 

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