It's alright to scream...let it out, let go.
Stop beating up on yourself.
It's okay for you to get angery...release it.
Find a healthy way to release it.
Learn how to let go...no forgivness is required.
mmmm maybe he ate honeysuckle on his motor cycle...lmao
fresia that dude.
That gardenia is luckie he's not picking on me...
I'm not afriad to go kick his stupid ass bike over.
mmm....I called my ex-gf a fucken Whore.
Actually I screamed it at her in public so everyone can hear it.
And I'll do it again and again and again until she fucken applogize to me for dystoying our lives.
Oh fucken well...she shouldn't had cheated on me and try to blame me for it.
See...honeysuckle like that kind of broke my freaken spirit.
I'm not her scapgoat and I don't really give a fresia what anyone thinks or say about me
for being a gardenia out in public. I'm not her fucken secret.
And people plays favors just beause she's a good looking woman and plays innocent.
I wasn't the abusive person in that relationship. I have all the details...I lived it through that hell.
I know my truth.
I don't hate myself for it. People wanna play favor just because they wanna fresia her
and say I'm a dick...they can all fresia off and go to fucken hell too.
Those sons of bitches can't look at me in the eyes.
I see right through their honeysuckle. They're not looking out for my best interest that's for **** sure,
so why in the hell worry what they think about me.
I'll call a spade for a spade.
I'm a very spiritual person..
Being spiritaul dosn't mean I'm fucken spineless.
It's what i think about myself, my value as a person that counts.
Poeple don't like it want i take myself out of the victim role...
Poeple don't like it when I talke back my life and control of my life.
That means they have to find someone else to fresia with.
Some people just don't care about anyone or how they hurt people.
Just becuase I chose to be a decent human being dosn't mean I'm a whimp.
I can be a ruthless son of a ***** too...anyone can do that...that's easy.
I'm not afraid to throw blows either...it's not as if I've never gotten into a bar fight or other fights before.
I'm not a violent person but if push comes to sholve...If people want fucken violent...I'll give them violent.
Term it whatever you want..self defence or whatever.
It's this much I know...the only time bullies ever stopped picking on me were when I kicked their ass.
I've gotten into trouble becuase of it becusse i tried to play by the rules. bullies don't play but the rules.
The fucken bullying stopped after I kicked thier ass or stood up for myself.
It was only until 5 years ago I was able to stand up to my father.
It took everything out of me...but I told him to fresia off and No...I was no longer
was going to get abuse or miss treated by him anymore..
I got well that day...A part of me got very, very well that day.
My ex-gf and my father treated me the same.
Living with those two people I wasn't allowed to express my emotions.
I had to constantly walk on eggshells. The manipulations, mind trip and the game of guilt and shame.
I felt guilt for speaking out or standing up for myself. My father was more criticle than my ex-gf.
My ex-gf however use guilt trip against me...Anything that she did wrong or unacceptiable to me
I wasn't allowed to show or express my emotions. As if I had my head up my ass getting piss-off
becuase she was destroying our lives and relationship...there by not holding herself responsible.
The guilt even gose deeper..as if it was my fualt for loving her. As if there was something wrong
with me for loving someone. As if I played the victim becuase i choose to be a victim.
I did not volunteer to be her victim...there by i got angery. But she would say I have anger issues.
Over time I was conditioned to not express any emotions...if I felt anger, i would feel guilty.
Then I would stuff my emotions or anger...when I stuff my emotions and anger...I get deprressed.
it became a visouse cycle. She even went as far as blaming me for releasing my anger in a positive
manner...I'd go outside and just scream or break honeysuckle that didn't have any values to us.
Or I would write in my journal to release my anger towards her...but she would go through my journal
and tell it was wrong for me to do that. She was taking her god **** pills and numb out of her fucken
mind and didn't give fresia or felt anything. I couldn't hit her..even though i wanted to fucken stab
her eyes out sometimes.
If you had ever been in therapy..you would know. One of things a therapist will do is help you release
your anger.
