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Eternitydreamer

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i look at people i knew/know and see their friends list and you see like 300, 600 and sometimes as high as 800. One of them was a bit of a strange person, like myself and somehow got themselves added with those who hated and bullied me. They have over 800. Few of them really interact but do "like" their public posts.People who went to school with them, even some teachers. I am so confused how this person has so many and that they would want to be his friend when like he, like me is a christian. But i have no one from my past and have never had any reach out to me. (I was hugely bullied and everyone hated me). Some that weren't even in his class while I went and others he would've barely knowm but I was in a full year class with them. I don't get what was so flawed with me. I have zero apart from random christians I have added and my mother and stepfather. There were so many that bullied me and hurt me so bad but want him on their friends list. I have only been a christian for a little while (3 years) so that aint it. I left when I was 16 and we are both now 24 and they still are interested in him. I knew hundreds for 7 years. Even being in the same class several times but they hated me

Then I see someone I know who is (older) quite chatty, loud and would be the life of a party and has a reasonable amount of 73. A number that seems fair for a loud person I think. 
How on earth do you even get so many who would WANT to be on your friends list? 
then this chick I met who has been depressed twice, she psots one photo of herself and has like 20 comments. I post a photo, I get maybe a like or two from the chrietians but no comments (got one "great pic").

I have no friends in real life and wonder how anyone can get to be your friend? how do you get so many?
 
I still think you should delete your Facebook. Your posts pertaining to Facebook have mostly been negative so I don't understand why you still desire to continue experiencing the negative feelings it has caused you.

Numbers on Facebook do not mean anything. Many people add people they don't like or give a honeysuckle about just to be nosy and have someone to gossip about. Whatever you do on Facebook does not translate into real life.

A friend on Facebook does not always translate to having a friend in real life.

If you have a friend, you will know that they are a friend. If you have to question if someone likes you or not, or wonder why they don't accept your friend request etc., they are not an actual friend.

Take a break and get off that site plagued with narcissists. Do a Google...there are plenty of articles to support that it is plagued with many of such self-absorbed people. Many people have found more happiness after deleting their Facebooks...including myself.
 
Really, the psychology of it all confuses me. I have wondered since I was 16 (well, even years behind that) what is so "wrong" with me I can't get ONE just ONE. I had attempts with people I "met" online but they all ignored me and rejected me. A few I met in real life with rejections. It's killing me as I'm now 24 and still have nobody and people moan about having one or two friends and acquaintances when I have none of even that,
I had a so-called friend when I was 13 but she was the most fakest, most using person ever.
I even tried a new church yesterday but no one my age was interested. Even the older folk avoided me like the plague and acted rude. Some talked to me but differently thst others. What is SO WRONG with me?
I know I should delete it but I don't work and it keeps me busy to nosy and look at articles and posts I'm interested in. Then I kind of nosy on those I knew. I can't even get a date on dating sites. Either I'm too ugly or something is seriously flawed with me. I've tried since I was 16/17 and haven't had ONE date. WTH?! I just don't get it. Maybe I'm just too ugly? I did have a few creepers but no one wanted to date me?
 
Maybe you're just trying too hard and possibly coming across as "desperate" or something like that. Something to consider. But yeah, stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and how many friends they have. If you can't do that, maybe it's time to deactivate facebook for a while.
 
I honestly find it curious how people can have 200 + facebook friends, even when accounting for large, extended families.

While it's true these often aren't friends in real life, how much of reject can they be if that many people are adding them, and where do they even meet all these people?
 
There are some people who just learned to "work" the Facebook thing early and right out of the gate. Many of us have delete their social media profiles several times over the years. Because of this, we have purged the friend list time and time again. He is probably one of those people who was Facebook early, kept his profile, and said to everyone he encountered "Hey, I'd like to add you on Facebook." It really is this simple.
 
How can you possibly keep up with so many people I just don't know. Lots of these people are regular travellers, party going people and that so that helps. But 200? 300? Even some people higher? Why have that many? I would rather have people I talked to at least once a year in person.
 
Mine is at 582 (has been higher) but it's mostly international people I haven't met in real life.
 
I have almost 200. I either know everyone one of them personally from my life or have become close to them at some point online. I keep in touch with a lot of them and/or am interested in, at least, knowing what's going on with their life from time to time. And then, of course you have the family of mine that are on Facebook.

Of course people with high friend counts don't talk to EVERY SINGLE ONE of those people. Some do it just to be "cool," some have a lot of friends because they have a talent, etc etc. It doesn't really matter how and why they have that many friends. What does matter is why you are obsessing over it.
 
I have 62 and feel ok about that, I'd also feel ok if it was 620 or 26.

Stop putting so much of your time into facebook, go do things you enjoy instead!
 
Some of my cousins have almost two thousand each, and I know that they do not have time to respond to each of their messages, including mine, because they have so many. Two of them are health coaches and are self employed business owners that get a lot of their business through the networking they do through social media. Sometimes you'll find that those with many online friends have businesses that depend a lot upon networking, though that isn't always the case. I have found that those that do have a lot of them aren't necessarily the loudest people, but are just people that care a lot about others and are very nice and friendly so that others want to be around them, want to keep in touch, and want to be their friend.

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life, I would try and focus on things that you can do to better yourself and be someone that people will want to be around. Sometimes people may not want to be around someone that acts friendly that may not come off as sincere, or may seem needy, because they might not want or have time for that sort of negativity in their life. Focus on hobbies and interests you have, and then find out more/practice them so that you can meet people with similar interests so that you can have something to talk about. My younger brother, who has Asperger's Syndrome, is one of the most friendliest people in the world and makes friends easily, because he is very genuine and sincere in his interest in people, and he also spends a lot of time finding about more about different topics he gets interested in, and people are very surprised about how much he knows about things like movies, animals, dinosaurs, etc. Also make sure that you are listening as well as talking when interacting with people. That is my advice.
 
There's nothing wrong with you, and don't worry your self about fakebook. I mean facebook. Like everyone says be your self and the genuine people will genuinely like you.
 
I personally feel that anything that is negative to your self worth, isn't worth hanging on to. I can't say I've spent a lot of time looking at how many friends other people have. I can say I purge mine a lot. My page is supposed to be something that I enjoy for my own personal self... Not a competition to see if I can outdo others.
 
AmytheTemperamental said:
I personally feel that anything that is negative to your self worth, isn't worth hanging on to. I can't say I've spent a lot of time looking at how many friends other people have. I can say I purge mine a lot. My page is supposed to be something that I enjoy for my own personal self... Not a competition to see if I can outdo others.

You only say that because you know you can't outdo me :club:
 
AmytheTemperamental said:
I personally feel that anything that is negative to your self worth, isn't worth hanging on to. I can't say I've spent a lot of time looking at how many friends other people have. I can say I purge mine a lot. My page is supposed to be something that I enjoy for my own personal self... Not a competition to see if I can outdo others.

^this
 
I have a few family members on FB and that's about it. I'd never know what was happening in their lives with it, because that's how they all seem to communicate. :p
 
The people who say that it's immature to care about this are usually the ones with the larger social circles IMO (online and off).

Of course there are plenty of good reasons not to add someone, and "it's only social media", but I've still been a bit disappointed the number of times a request has been left in purgatory after assuming there would be no problem (known each other for a reasonable time, mutual friends including co-workers). It does kind of sting and makes you reassess how you should act around them. I understand why women would be cautious, but it's baffling when it's another guy who acts like you're a real friend to your face (well beyond just being polite). Not to mention annoying to feel like some sort of stalker.
 

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