Torn between two lovers

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Jessica Jones

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Hey,

Basically, it's like it's been 50 shades of gray with one....only I don't deserve to be talked to or touched and "let's just face it, nobody wants to see you naked", is his attitude. It did not start out that way though.

The second guy he must have loved me all along and just stalked me, but never wanting to ask me out, never coming too close until he realized I was going through a major breakup after being engaged to guy above. Then he starts following me closer....after I'm bleeding, after I'm trying to recover from too much pain...he wants to act like I was throwing away "our love"....like we had been a couple. And I told him I need d a couple of years to get over this. I told him I didn't want to get involved but I needed to take care of myself, so now the two years are up and he's offended, avoids me, is angry, gets up and leaves when I sit near him or across from him. I've done all I can do I've lived both of the men and for a while I focussed on one because I thought it better to focuss on one....but I ended up loosing both. And both of them act like they hate me now.

I guess I just don't want to try it anymore. It's been such a struggle with men over the years and I have to fight everyone and the devil just to have anyone or anything. I'm just so tired of it.
 
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