Toxic Games Some Women Play.

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NoxApex(N/A)

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It's a paradox.
No man worth a damn is a mind reader, because if he's worth a damn in the first place his mind is focused on himself and making self-improvement because men must become and women just are. And in the hilarious words of the late Robin Williams: "The trouble with being a man is, that God gave men two heads, and only enough blood to think with one at a time." 😂

Everybody has toxic traits, just like everybody has a personality disorder of some kind. These are side effects of being in our society and are actually kind of a natural, common, albeit unfortunate phenomenon. It's great that you want to improve upon these, as growth first comes from the determination to change behaviors, which is why behavioral change is so difficult in the first place.

My toxic trait is that I do not like conflict, in part because when forced into conflict I approach it with a catch-22 trap with the other person or people, usually by dividing their ego by their objectives. Mind you, it's a defensive maneuver. It works, 100% of the time I have used it. And the trouble is, that eventually "winning" loses its meaning that way because what used to mean something thereafter becomes monotonous. So I don't like conflict because I always have the upper hand, and always having the upper hand gets boring, therefore, conflict is boring to me, despite its unfortunate naturality of existence.

So the way that I resolved this for myself is to just stop dating entirely.
It saves me money, time, effort, and energy.
Allows me to focus on myself and my own becoming.
Effectively and ironically my own catch-22 trick is something I fall into in this instance.
Because without the girl as the punchline, to what avail is the point of becoming anything at all?

I think Vonnegut said it best when he said that everything is just nothing with a twist: ♾️

Mark Manson was also correct when he said that the solution to one problem is merely the replacement of that problem with another problem. So really, life is a matter of choosing which problems you are okay with having in your life.

Like I don't necessarily enjoy being single, but I enjoy being single a lot more than I enjoy coming home from a 9 or 10 hour rough shift to get into some kind of an emotional squabble. I don't necessarily enjoy being poor, but I enjoy the limitations of poverty more than I enjoy the stresses and limitations of debt and the Orwellian marketplace where everyone is a crooked and manipulative salesmen.

Life is about choosing your battles and your sufferings, rather than choosing your goals and your pathways to get there. And I say this because it is easy to choose goals and devise pathways to get to those goals, but it is much, much more difficult to force those pathways to work how you want them to work and to achieve those goals the way you want to achieve them, BECAUSE of the factor of other sentient and cognitive human beings.

REMEMBER: You can only really, truly control yourself, in that you stand a better chance at self adamancy than you do with trying to shape another individual. Pets are a great example of this, actually: You can absolutely train your dog or cat to use the litter box, but they will still occasionally shit or piss on the carpet. 🤷‍♂️

But because you are you, you have a higher percentile chance to shape the results that you want by minimizing external factorial variables. Or to put it back to the pet analogy: Your cat or dog can't shit and piss on the carpet, if you don't own a cat or a dog. 😌👌
 

Claudia1794

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Ok, but this, in my opinion, is not delicate or sensitive, its childish. I knew girls in high school and undergrad that did the same things plus the oh no I'm pregnant which more times than not was a lie to get them back. People like this are insecure but no child's play is going to solve that issue. It should be dealt with before even considering involving another person. All of this is the stuff I tell my son to watch out for because he is a people pleaser and he would, if not warned by me and his peers boys and girls would be the type to be sucked into this. Lucky for him I am just enough crazy to hurt someone badly for hurting him. Wow, yes, that is me. Perhaps, I need to do some research on what is toxic because Im really thinking that I have been misrepresented. Another thing, why would anyone do this to someone they supposedly cared for or someone who had never done anything to them. Now, if its a matter of giving what you got then I'm all on board. But don't do it unless you want it done to you. Its that simple I think.
 

CenotaphGirl

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It's a paradox.
No man worth a damn is a mind reader, because if he's worth a damn in the first place his mind is focused on himself and making self-improvement because men must become and women just are. And in the hilarious words of the late Robin Williams: "The trouble with being a man is, that God gave men two heads, and only enough blood to think with one at a time." 😂

Everybody has toxic traits, just like everybody has a personality disorder of some kind. These are side effects of being in our society and are actually kind of a natural, common, albeit unfortunate phenomenon. It's great that you want to improve upon these, as growth first comes from the determination to change behaviors, which is why behavioral change is so difficult in the first place.

My toxic trait is that I do not like conflict, in part because when forced into conflict I approach it with a catch-22 trap with the other person or people, usually by dividing their ego by their objectives. Mind you, it's a defensive maneuver. It works, 100% of the time I have used it. And the trouble is, that eventually "winning" loses its meaning that way because what used to mean something thereafter becomes monotonous. So I don't like conflict because I always have the upper hand, and always having the upper hand gets boring, therefore, conflict is boring to me, despite its unfortunate naturality of existence.

So the way that I resolved this for myself is to just stop dating entirely.
It saves me money, time, effort, and energy.
Allows me to focus on myself and my own becoming.
Effectively and ironically my own catch-22 trick is something I fall into in this instance.
Because without the girl as the punchline, to what avail is the point of becoming anything at all?

I think Vonnegut said it best when he said that everything is just nothing with a twist: ♾️

Mark Manson was also correct when he said that the solution to one problem is merely the replacement of that problem with another problem. So really, life is a matter of choosing which problems you are okay with having in your life.

Like I don't necessarily enjoy being single, but I enjoy being single a lot more than I enjoy coming home from a 9 or 10 hour rough shift to get into some kind of an emotional squabble. I don't necessarily enjoy being poor, but I enjoy the limitations of poverty more than I enjoy the stresses and limitations of debt and the Orwellian marketplace where everyone is a crooked and manipulative salesmen.

Life is about choosing your battles and your sufferings, rather than choosing your goals and your pathways to get there. And I say this because it is easy to choose goals and devise pathways to get to those goals, but it is much, much more difficult to force those pathways to work how you want them to work and to achieve those goals the way you want to achieve them, BECAUSE of the factor of other sentient and cognitive human beings.

REMEMBER: You can only really, truly control yourself, in that you stand a better chance at self adamancy than you do with trying to shape another individual. Pets are a great example of this, actually: You can absolutely train your dog or cat to use the litter box, but they will still occasionally shit or piss on the carpet. 🤷‍♂️

But because you are you, you have a higher percentile chance to shape the results that you want by minimizing external factorial variables. Or to put it back to the pet analogy: Your cat or dog can't shit and piss on the carpet, if you don't own a cat or a dog. 😌👌
We live in a big fat steaming paradox my friend 😂

Ok, but this, in my opinion, is not delicate or sensitive, its childish. I knew girls in high school and undergrad that did the same things plus the oh no I'm pregnant which more times than not was a lie to get them back. People like this are insecure but no child's play is going to solve that issue. It should be dealt with before even considering involving another person. All of this is the stuff I tell my son to watch out for because he is a people pleaser and he would, if not warned by me and his peers boys and girls would be the type to be sucked into this. Lucky for him I am just enough crazy to hurt someone badly for hurting him. Wow, yes, that is me. Perhaps, I need to do some research on what is toxic because Im really thinking that I have been misrepresented. Another thing, why would anyone do this to someone they supposedly cared for or someone who had never done anything to them. Now, if its a matter of giving what you got then I'm all on board. But don't do it unless you want it done to you. Its that simple I think.
Yeps this is very common to the point i’d say at least 65% of men have experienced something like this. Lying about pregnancy is something different simply evil, I know one girl who did this and pretended to miscarry, only a truly evil person can pretend to experience something so traumatic. The second one that i’ll never understand is lying about who the father is 😬

So yeps insecurity is a huge one. In fact I think it is so important, thats why I put this under self-esteem and not relationships.
 

vng2015

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Thank you for speaking up for men who are abused by women! Male victims of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) have been ignored for many decades. This is one of my main interests.
 

maybetrollingmaybenot

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Well good luck but all I can say is: don't waste your time on retarded online forums lol, I mean since you're young and you can't see how important time is. Even if you think you have it now. This is a very important advice that no one gave me when I was younger...
 

CenotaphGirl

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Well good luck but all I can say is: don't waste your time on retarded online forums lol, I mean since you're young and you can't see how important time is. Even if you think you have it now. This is a very important advice that no one gave me when I was younger...
Dont call it that! Its a good bit of fun and can be positive 😂🙈 but thanks for the advice I will deffo take it in stride 😂 but… sir.. what are you doing on zee forums? 👀😂
 

TheRealCallie

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I've made a lot of great friends here on this forum, so I would say it depends on how you spend your time here whether it is a waste or not.
 

maybetrollingmaybenot

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Dont call it that! Its a good bit of fun and can be positive 😂🙈 but thanks for the advice I will deffo take it in stride 😂 but… sir.. what are you doing on zee forums? 👀😂

You got me, but I was never beautiful like yourself and never young lol so my point is: the more you have the more you think you can loose, which is why people in their early 20s waste so much time.
 

Diogenes

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Since women are generally the choosers, they take these types of 'tests' in attempt to ensure that the man is not emotionally weak. I think there is nothing toxic about it "in most cases", its a necessary part of the selection process.

If you had ever been on the old Fetlife website, you'd think otherwise.
Like many forums, it was dominated by a gang of lurking harpies who coordinated attacks.
These self proclaimed "submissive" women spent all of their time hijacking threads and attacking men. Why?

Because they were worthless to men, and resented that reality. Fat, old, bitter, divorced, single parent, shitty job, no life or prospects. While they were in no way shape or form actually genuinely sexually or relationship submissives, their self appointed task in life was to pick apart all men on the site as "not real dominants", as posers.

The tests women give often are not genuine, but rather tricks, traps, no-win scenarios.
 

Butterfly 2

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I guess I just really can't relate to these games. If you care about the person and think he could possibly be someone you could love, why would you do this to him?

Maybe you can gauge it if you put different people in the situation. How would you like it if your mother told you that she was playing these games with your father or your brother's girlfriend telling you she is playing these games with your brother?
 

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