Violet Skies

[stuff4096]

How does one remain hopeful when all attempts to succeed have failed? How does one remain optimistic when everything leads to darkness? How does one let go of the past when the present and future are not better? What is the point of anything when everything is just something to do? What is the point of living when your soul mate does not exist?

I can't go on living this way
But I can't go back the way I came
Chained to this fear that I will never find a way to heal my soul
And I will wander till the end of time
Half alive without you

 

[edamame721]

Sometimes when the future seems bleak, you have to remember, you don't know what the future really is. You only think about what it might be. Just keep putting one step forward. *hugs*

 

[Seeker]

There is no soulmate, just people who you can cling with for as long as they don't get bored of each other's presence or reality kicks them in the face. I thought I had a soulmate once, at least that's what she was telling me, until she slept with that other guy...

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well, you don't know if the future is better or not. You can try to make it get better by working on the present. A lot of things in life are based on what you make it out to be. Don't give up.. keep going. Life tends to throw opportunities at you, sometimes, when you least expect it.

Maybe try to have a bit of faith in the future in hopes that it would be a good one at the very least.

 

[Retrospective81]

Just keep on living day by day. Try, with all your might, to see positivity and happiness in the world and your life. try looking at the sky on a sunny day. Notice it's beauty. Notice the trees and the birds.

Try to count the things you DO have. Your health, a home and a little bit on financial security to buy the thins you want. Treat yourself to a new haircut or maybe some new clothes.

Find all you can to make your happy. Live for NOW, the past has been written, but the future has not. Peace and love always <3

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To add further. Your 'soulmate' is always out there. I believe we have more than one and a 'soulmate' isn't always in the way you think it is. It can also be a close friend, someone who is like a brother or sister to you. Someone who understands you. 'Soulmates' do not have to be romantic partners. Something maybe, to keep in mind stuff.

 

[stuff4096]

Thank you to all those who took the time to respond

I hear what you all are saying, I just find it difficult to think positively when the precedence for negativity and sadness has been set for so long. One thing that is particularly saddening is that I should be happy in having my health, etc. like Retro said. While I do feel fortunate, those types of thoughts don't begin to outweigh my darkness. My life kinds of feels like watching a bad movie where you want to stop watching it, but you are watching it with someone else who is into it and out of courtesy you keep watching. I really want to stop watching the movie. Death is inevitable, I just wish it would get here sooner than later. I sometimes feel like I must have been a terrible person in a previous life and this is my punishment. Everything missing in my life is something I took for granted in my previous life

As for the soulmate being someone other than a romantic partner, I can sort of see your point, it just hasn't worked out that way for me. I might almost have believed you, but I have lost my "close" friends by various circumstances. I would love to be able to say I have had a best friend since elementary school, or married my high school sweetheart. Sad thing is, if I were to ever be fortunate enough to find her, I wouldn't even know who to choose as a best man

No one I know in real life even knows what I am going through, I mask it well enough. I am too lost to be saved, but at least the forum exists for people like me who have nowhere else to turn. For that, I am thankful