What are some of the best dating sites for a shy loner?

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Yes I did read it. AND Ive been told that lots of times before by people who blame the site when it was them not selling themselves.
Then perhaps you misunderstood me. It's not my fault that there are too many scammers, bots, catfish, liars, fakes and psychos, or that the sites pursue your money as best they can, or that there is a misuse of reporting users and an unfairness in penalising users. That's a site issue.

As for not selling my own self, I managed to attract some dates.
 
How did I attract them? I'm guessing they might've liked my picture and then were happy with our conversation.
I saw your picture in the picture thread.
You have a "rugged" kind of look about yourself.
I imagine that plays into it.
Conversation...yeah, that too.

I dunno....I suppose some of the rest of us are simply f*cked...
 
I saw your picture in the picture thread.
You have a "rugged" kind of look about yourself.
I imagine that plays into it.
Conversation...yeah, that too.

I dunno....I suppose some of the rest of us are simply f*cked...
That picture is too recent to compare in my opinion, but I can't say what women like as far as looks goes. For the amount of work I did on such sites, my hit ratio was barely worth mentioning, but like anything, you throw enough hooks in the water you're to get a bite eventually. Today I don't use any apps or sites or bother with trying to meet women for dates, but I have worked on myself a great deal, mentally and physically, and I have found that I'm engaging with women a lot easier than I have in the past. Also, getting a date doesn't mean you're starting a relationship. The very few dates I did have never went beyond a second date except for one, but I called that one to an end myself due to her being a bit nuts. My advice - get yourself in order first and let the world come to you.
 
Agreed, but it does mean they have that initial attraction.
That means something.
I've never felt that.
Well, there’s many people in the world and each of them have a variety of things they are attracted to, so mathematically speaking, eventually there has to be someone that finds something about you attractive. The thing is, you have to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward, whatever that takes; better dress sense, better hygiene, tidying up your appearance, getting fitter, talking more coherently, being more charming, being less confrontational, and so on and so forth. Ask yourself honestly what you could work on and then work on it. If you can’t be honest with yourself then ask someone to be honest with you.
 
whatever that takes; better dress sense, better hygiene, tidying up your appearance, getting fitter, talking more coherently, being more charming, being less confrontational, and so on and so forth
- better dress sense - In the 90s I wore $400-$500 suits to work every day. I had about 10 suits in my closet back then. And even after the "business casual" thing took over, I still to this day wear a shirt, tie and dress slacks to the office.

- tidying up your appearance - I wore a crew cut up until 2011 at which point I started shaving bald, like Kojak. Facially I am usually either clean shaven or have the "Don Johnson" stubble beard.

- getting fitter - been working out regularly since I was a teenager. I'm 6'1" 175 lbs. I do both resistance & cardio. Plus I walk an average of about 8 miles a day.

- talking more coherently - I don't think this is an issue. I can start to ramble when I get very upset, but that does not happen often.

- being more charming, being less confrontational - ok on this I will agree. I am not "charming". Not in the least. And I can be rather confrontational, but only when I perceive that someone is purposely being overly aggressive with me, or trying to "flex" on me. I can be very defensive. But there are a lot of guys who are not charming and MANY guys who are even more confrontational than me who have females pursuit them. In fact, I think females prefer the aggressive flexers, but that's just IMO.

No, I think it's much simpler. I was born without a square jawline and chiseled facial features. And the type of females I find attractive - young and petite with pretty faces - seem to mostly want those types of guys. I'm a regular Joe Schmoe who only has eyes for the pretty girls. And no, I cannot and will not consider lowering my sites as far as looks or age. Will never happen.
Thanks for the advice though. It's appreciated.
 
@Unsigned well those were just examples I put forth, and the rest did say that you'd have to be honest with yourself. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. You must know that there are many women attracted to men unlike those you describe, so they are attracted for a reason. I don't condemn you for not "lowering your sites", but they way you're saying it may imply you're shallow. What do you think?
 
Why not, then?
I just don't have any desire to seek out anyone for a date at the moment and my situation is too tricky currently to accommodate it to be honest. I'd rather work on myself some more first. If an interaction occurs, I wouldn't dismiss it, but I wouldn't chase it. I would let it grow organically if anything. It's still good to practice your communication skills and engagement with people. Let them like you for who you are without any perceived intentions.
 
I don't condemn you for not "lowering your sites", but they way you're saying it may imply you're shallow. What do you think?
Absolutely yes, I am "shallow".
I view females on looks alone - youth & beauty.
I suppose it's the circumstances of my life that led to this. I have written about that in other comments, so I don't want to be redundant.
But I do not think that makes me a bad person. I am not rude or anything to women I do not find attractive - plain face, overweight, or past a certain age (early 30s at the most). I can just never see myself viewing them in a sexual way. Ever. So yeah, I am shallow in that regard.
 
- better dress sense - In the 90s I wore $400-$500 suits to work every day. I had about 10 suits in my closet back then. And even after the "business casual" thing took over, I still to this day wear a shirt, tie and dress slacks to the office.

- tidying up your appearance - I wore a crew cut up until 2011 at which point I started shaving bald, like Kojak. Facially I am usually either clean shaven or have the "Don Johnson" stubble beard.

- getting fitter - been working out regularly since I was a teenager. I'm 6'1" 175 lbs. I do both resistance & cardio. Plus I walk an average of about 8 miles a day.

- talking more coherently - I don't think this is an issue. I can start to ramble when I get very upset, but that does not happen often.

- being more charming, being less confrontational - ok on this I will agree. I am not "charming". Not in the least. And I can be rather confrontational, but only when I perceive that someone is purposely being overly aggressive with me, or trying to "flex" on me. I can be very defensive. But there are a lot of guys who are not charming and MANY guys who are even more confrontational than me who have females pursuit them. In fact, I think females prefer the aggressive flexers, but that's just IMO.

No, I think it's much simpler. I was born without a square jawline and chiseled facial features. And the type of females I find attractive - young and petite with pretty faces - seem to mostly want those types of guys. I'm a regular Joe Schmoe who only has eyes for the pretty girls. And no, I cannot and will not consider lowering my sites as far as looks or age. Will never happen.
Thanks for the advice though. It's appreciated.
I agree I dont like men who I find too “submissive” I like some aggression😅 but has to be to everyone else but me✨ talk to me nice or dont speak at all 🎶
 
Definitely not Tinder.
Because you're not going to meet anybody of qualitative value on an app that looks like it was designed on Windows 3.1 in Netscape Navigator. 🤪

Younger people are excused from the above joke, that was before their time, they won't get it.

But seriously though, it is the formatting of them that makes them unappealing to me. I prefer learning about people and actually getting to know someone rather than left and right swipes over pictures. Actually I'd rather it be the other way around. I'd rather learn about people first and then know about their appearance after.

Appearances are more relativistic to me. If I can't have a conversation with a woman, I'm going to get bored no matter how physically attractive she is.
 
On Tinder, since I put a different picture as a first one, I got lots of likes and lots of matches (46 likes for the moments, maybe 20 matches).
However, those likes don't materialise in dates.
I suppose it has to do with the way in which I approach women, although some of them are fake of course.
 
I agree I dont like men who I find too “submissive” I like some aggression😅 but has to be to everyone else but me✨ talk to me nice or dont speak at all 🎶
I'm highly defensive...probably the worst and least "attractive" form of aggression...
 
Lol as long as its not to “her” i dont see why its a issue😇
It's the difference between a charging lion (the "chad" types) vs a badger who's been backed up against a cliff (me).
But yeah, I don't recall a female ever bringing that out in me...
 
Absolutely yes, I am "shallow".
I view females on looks alone - youth & beauty.
I suppose it's the circumstances of my life that led to this. I have written about that in other comments, so I don't want to be redundant.
But I do not think that makes me a bad person. I am not rude or anything to women I do not find attractive - plain face, overweight, or past a certain age (early 30s at the most). I can just never see myself viewing them in a sexual way. Ever. So yeah, I am shallow in that regard.
Well you can be shallow re a womans looks, up to you, but dont complain when they are the same re your age, looks or bank balance. Bank balance is not even shallow, as a serious relationship usually leads to living together or marriage and if a guy cant afford to take care of his woman he has no right to date her. I know some very hard working, smart, wealthy ladies. But none that would take on a guy who wants to be kept. lol. I chuckled at the bit about you are not rude to ugly or plain or overweight women. They may be the same with you based on how you talk, looks or other stuff. We have a very old man who lives near us who must be the ugliest man in the world. He dresses terribly, he smells, there is nothing whatsoever positive about him. The other day he told me that he is very picky about women and wont talk to any who are over 50 or plain! He should be so lucky. I Choose who I talk to for more than twenty seconds based on common sense, intelligence, knowledge and wit. We are all different.
 
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