What are you actually supposed to do, when therapy doesn't work for you, so many times

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TheRealCallie

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My last point, and I am not sure how this would apply outside of the UK, but you can request treatment in another region.
In America, you don't need permission, you find a place, you call, you make an appt. Most therapists don't require referrals. Only specialists like cardiologists and that type require referrals here. You can go wherever you want. It's just a matter of whether or not your insurance will pay for it.
 

chasingowls

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Yeah, therapy hasn't worked for me much. At least I don't think it has. I just get there, talk about my life for an hour and leave. Even the talking is like pulling teeth since my problems don't change from week to week. So what do I do when I have to mention the same problem over and over again.

I had some old friendships from high-school but they have long died from neglect. That's my fault of course as I was the one who was acting cold and distant to my friends. I even do the same with my family. I don't hate them or anything but I guess I learned this behaviour when I was a young teenager at the ripe age of 13.

I also feel like my ability to socialise has been greatly diminished. I used to be able to make friends and conversation with almost anyone but I've grown more reserved since I was put on medication.

Exactly!! Thank you for empathizing. I hate it when people just assume that it must be something I'm doing wrong. That I must be expecting therapists to 'fix' me and my problems. People don't even know me or what I've tried and just assume that.

I can't relate to taking medication but I also feel like I have a much harder time dealing with people now. Interactions typically feel like gears grinding to a halt, rather than running smoothly. I don't have any problem with acting aloof or cold; it's the opposite, where I just don't really like anyone and feel like I have to overextend myself, whereas they aren't even aware of how I'm feeling. I feel like I have to make more of an effort in most cases, and sometimes people even treat me like I'm on edge or angry. So that I have to work even harder to reassure them I'm not hostile or something.
 

TropicalStarfish

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I honestly, do not know the answer, for you specifically, or generally.

I do some times wonder if, there really is NOT anything YOU can do.

When I was younger, and a much different person, I often found myself befriending social rejects in school. These were the types who were often made fun of, and excluded. I probably did so because I didn't really feel I belonged much either; the only difference was, people didn't give me a hard time about it, and I didn't much feel a need to belong.

Anyway my point is the following. I made a friend in highschool once, who, at the time, was really not a cool kid, not popular, and often on the wrong end of teasing and perhaps even being made fun of. I don't think he had any friends when I met him.

Long story short, we became friends, I showed him a few things about how to socialize, do's and don'ts, and generally we just shared knowledge and experience together. Fast forward a year or two, and he was hanging with the guys and impressing girls 2 to 3 years older than him, dating, etc.. So, something about just being around me, being accepted by the cool mysterious loner kid, some how, not only imbued his reputation with a bit of intrigue; but, also gave him a chance to just feel comfortable in his own skin...

I hate to say it, but, certain problems may not be possible for us to fix on our own, or at least, it would be very, very difficult to do so, as opposed to having... Not even an outside, 'help,' or, 'helper,' but more of an, 'outside element.' I certainly was NOT out to improve my highschool friend's life. I thought, when I first met him, I didn't want to have anything to do with him either; but, I couldn't think of any valid excuses to turn down his kindness, and persistence. I lucked out and we became good friends, and he lucked out and broke a little out of his awkward position of not being socially tuned so well.

So, this is where, and why, I think, so many people count on their religious, 'faith,' as it were. Faith, is sort of like, being stranded on the highway, 500 miles from your destination. Faith is sticking your thumb out, to let passers-by know, you are in need of a ride. Where as, I think, despair, is giving up on ever getting a ride, and just sort of wandering off the road, into the wildnerness a bit, where you will never catch a ride.

Philosophically speaking, there may be some merit, to quitting trying to catch that ride, giving up a bit, or even completely, and just throwing yourself to the elements; but, my point is that, I think that's why, whatever the religion, people often credit it with great merit, because it's a hook in the water with bait, as opposed to accepting you won't catch your next meal, and starring bleakly at your circumstances. I count being atheist a faith, as well as agnostic, also by-the-by...

So, if the problem, is one, that may require an outside element, how do you solve the new problem of needing an outside element? I don't know; but, if that is the case, it changes the nature of the problem, I think, does it not? And when I say, 'outside element,' I don't mean a, 'psychiatric professional.' That could be the needed outside element; but, probably not nearly as often as we are led to believe that, these days. That whole schtick is as much the problem itself, as it is the solution, if not more so.

And, that's the problem of an outside element, I think. I think those things are increasingly rare to come by, in a world that is shrinking, visa-vi the internet, and interconnectedness. You can't really, 'buy,' inspiration, suddenly realization, satori, profound meaning, profound experience. You can't buy a wayward trouble making sort of friend, who, at their core, really does have a heart. You can't buy true love.

These are things that happen in the course of life and these are people you meet in the course of life. But, increasingly, life is about staying in your box, and being hooked up through a wire or wireless connection, showing up to work at the box you are destined to work in, and returning to sleep in your box, so you can purchase things inside boxes...

So, how do you acquire the thing or meet the person(s) you need to meet, to fix the problem, when you don't know what the thing or person you need to fix the problem is?

I don't know; but, whether one performs a rain dance or not, perhaps rain is destined to fall at some point. It may not; but, hey, if doesn't, at least we had a good dance. I think that's the sentiment...
 
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Adamridge79

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All that said, I did have success with therapy and psychiatry. And meds. I just had my three month meeting. I hate psychologists. Commit me cause you're a dick. But I can almost pass as normal. You're in control of your needs. One doesn't work, find another. Easier said than done. But you are your best advocate. Fight. It, apparently, is nice
 

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