- Apr 28, 2021
- Reaction score
When I lived in India the cow always had right of way if she stopped we all stopped. So this morning I'm driving down the country lane that leads to the village, it's about ten feet wide with grass verges and hedges either side, and there's a cow sat smack bang in the middle of the lane. I stopped got out of the car did a few stretches and caught up with some emails while I waited for the cow to move.
20 minutes later I'm admiring the view, Glastonbury Tor is in the distance with the sun rising behind it, it's breathtakingly beautiful. A car comes tearing down the lane, going in the opposite direction, see's the cow and comes to a screeching stop. The driver, a thirtysomething in an ill fitting suit, jumps out and starts shouting at the cow to move. The cow ignores him and decides she'd rather munch the grass on the verge. This annoys the driver and he starts swearing at the top of his voice while trying to lift the cow to her feet.
Having failed to shift the cow by physical and verbal force he turns to me and shouts "don't just f*ck*ing stand there! help me!". My reply "it's just a cow man, she'll move when she's ready" tips him over the edge and he screams, the cow gives him a look of bemusement and bewilderment, she's had enough of this, gets to her feet and wanders off down the lane waving her tail. The driver, now a bright red sweating dishevelled mess, throws some choice expletives my way gets back in his car and the whole big ball of fury and rage tears off towards the motorway.
I finish taking in the view, help my self to a few blackberries off the hedge and head for the village for coffee and croissants.
This reminds me of the Bull of Heaven story from ancient Proto-Indo-European myths, which all in one way or another point to Taurus. And well, Taurus don't give no sh!ts. It's a cow, chill bro. Stop having a cow over a cow. That kind of a thing is just natural to wherever you live. Down here in Florida we have alligators and snakes which pose such kinds of problems, and up in Alaska they've got Moose, and uuhh, given that a Moose is like the size of a small bus, typically it's ill-advised to challenge something like that.
Cow's got weight to them. They're also very important to both animal husbandry and the ecosystem. Whatever the rush he was in is, I'm sure whenever he gets where he's going that "there was a cow in the road" is a pretty understandable reason for tardiness. All he's gotta do is take a picture of it for proof. I mean, you're not gonna move a cow. That's a pretty funny thought though. Reminds me of when one of the college wrestlers that used to work for me got bold out of curiosity and tried to forcibly push the forklift out of the way. Bruh, it weighs like 6K - 10K lbs, not happening.