What Do You Think Happens?

[okidoke]

Since my short time on this forum, I have noticed several times where a new member has posted a thread outlining a challenging situation or even a dire state that sounds awfully ominous, and nothing more. Maybe a couple quick replies on the same thread on the same day, but nothing further.

There’s also others that may have been around for a while that suddenly have a similarly ominous sounding post that stop posting.

I often wonder what has happened to them. At least for a little while I do. I don’t allow myself to get all emotional over someone I don’t even know or someone who didn’t ever seem like they were ever interested in hearing any responses to their plight.

What about you? Does it concern you when you see such quick “joins and disappearances”? Do you need an answer? Do you just dismiss it? Do you dig deeper?

If I’ve got to know someone a little better, I do tend to seek an answer if I can, as minimal as that may be.

 

[user 188685]

Since my short time on this forum, I have noticed several times where a new member has posted a thread outlining a challenging situation or even a dire state that sounds awfully ominous, and nothing more. Maybe a couple quick replies on the same thread on the same day, but nothing further.

There’s also others that may have been around for a while that suddenly have a similarly ominous sounding post that stop posting.

I often wonder what has happened to them. At least for a little while I do. I don’t allow myself to get all emotional over someone I don’t even know or someone who didn’t ever seem like they were ever interested in hearing any responses to their plight.

What about you? Does it concern you when you see such quick “joins and disappearances”? Do you need an answer? Do you just dismiss it? Do you dig deeper?

If I’ve got to know someone a little better, I do tend to seek an answer if I can, as minimal as that may be.

I think that people may just get bored of the forum site,or just decide to go to try a different forum site,maybe they just don't like this one,and they may come back to the forum site and give it another try.

 

[user 164061]

After being here for a while i have noticed that about 90% of people who come here often put everything on the table in the first post they make, give a few replies and vanish. Sometimes they'll only post how they feel and leave because maybe they just wanted somewhere to rant? But obviously if someone i talked to a lot posted something ominous/worrying i'd be very concerned then. Can't make people stay if they don't want to though, even if it does seem odd they took that small bit of time out to make the account and they don't want to talk .

 

[ringwood]

Since my short time on this forum, I have noticed several times where a new member has posted a thread outlining a challenging situation or even a dire state that sounds awfully ominous, and nothing more. Maybe a couple quick replies on the same thread on the same day, but nothing further.

There’s also others that may have been around for a while that suddenly have a similarly ominous sounding post that stop posting.

I often wonder what has happened to them. At least for a little while I do. I don’t allow myself to get all emotional over someone I don’t even know or someone who didn’t ever seem like they were ever interested in hearing any responses to their plight.

What about you? Does it concern you when you see such quick “joins and disappearances”? Do you need an answer? Do you just dismiss it? Do you dig deeper?

If I’ve got to know someone a little better, I do tend to seek an answer if I can, as minimal as that may be.

I guess I'm an optimist in the sense that I generally figure these mysterious members have figured a way out of their situation and no longer need advice or input. Another thought is that writing out one's problems and anonymously posting it out on a random forum can be incredibly cathartic - I know this from personal experience. Maybe that's what some of these people needed - just a sounding board and nothing more, hence they never come back.

What worries me more is those people who come here and post a lot, but most of their threads seem incredibly mad and angry. You know - the ones that get themselves in trouble to the point of getting banned. Why are they so angry and full of hatred? And what would it take to tip them over the edge?

 

[user 148069]

The quick joins and disappearances probably just wanted to vent I guess. I don't know, perhaps they lurk more than they post because of anxiety maybe.

What worries me more is those people who come here and post a lot, but most of their threads seem incredibly mad and angry. You know - the ones that get themselves in trouble to the point of getting banned. Why are they so angry and full of hatred? And what would it take to tip them over the edge?

Years of pent up frustration, being ignored and invalidated, feeling invisible, I don't know for sure but definitely something bad happened in real life.

There’s also others that may have been around for a while that suddenly have a similarly ominous sounding post that stop posting.

sometimes regular poster just suddenly disappearing concerns me too even if don't leave any ominous sounding posts. Could send them a dm and ask if they are ok and hope they come back and answer.

 

[Abstamyous]

I wonder how many people come here hoping for an instant connection, just to be disappointed when it doesn't appear. Part of it requires more than an introductory post. I was more willing to be persistent when I first joined, I guess because I wasn't really willing to join a bunch of different forums to find what I was looking for.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wonder how many people come here hoping for an instant connection, just to be disappointed when it doesn't appear. Part of it requires more than an introductory post. I was more willing to be persistent when I first joined, I guess because I wasn't really willing to join a bunch of different forums to find what I was looking for.

Or an instant reply.

That has always happened. It wasn't as noticable when the forum was more active, but now that it's dead, it seems like it happens a lot more. It doesn't.

But yeah, I agree with Abstamyous. People just want to vent or immediately find someone.
Either that or they want to vent and then change their mind because they are embarrassed or scared or just feel dumb so they abandon ship.

 

[okidoke]

All great answers.

 

[Cherubino]

I was active here between 2009 and 2014 and if I remember well enough the number of active core users was not significantly higher than now so I don't think the site is dying

 

[okidoke]

......so I don't think the site is dying

I wasn't suggesting that. I was wondering what happened to the people that leave, especially the ones that leave after one day.

 

[Cherubino]

they freak out when realize how low they got to

 

[okidoke]

they freak out when realize how low they got to

Maybe. Maybe they think we’re all too crazy and they don’t want to be associated with us. It confirms their own craziness.

 

[TheSkaFish]

What worries me more is those people who come here and post a lot, but most of their threads seem incredibly mad and angry. You know - the ones that get themselves in trouble to the point of getting banned. Why are they so angry and full of hatred? And what would it take to tip them over the edge?

Years of frustration, humiliation, and a sense of powerlessness and despair would be my guess.
And losing your identity within those feelings to the point that they become your identity.

What would it take to tip them over the edge? I'd say one especially bad day, because it's not just that one day, it's that it's the straw that breaks the camel's back.

I know I've felt all these things at some point in time myself, and it's influenced a lot of the anger especially in my older posts when I first got here. Change was very slow and gradual.

 

[Cherubino]

fear of "success" is also a real thing

 

[user 139760]

I assume they end up solving their problems and muddling through. Few weeks later they realize they made a mountain out of a mole hill.
A small percentage of that probably do something worse, like kill themselves over it.
There's exactly zero control you have over it, though. As bad as life gets, I don't have much respect for those who decide to inflict on others the pain of opting it, without caring who they'll hurt in the process. I won't lose sleep over them.

 

[okidoke]

I don't have much respect for those who decide to inflict on others the pain of opting it, without caring who they'll hurt in the process. I won't lose sleep over them.

I've been VERY close a few times, but the thought of my kids dealing with it always stopped me. I can understand how some go ahead with it though, because their thought processes are just too far gone, their hopes too far gone, their pain just too much to withstand anymore - they're not thinking about other people. I feel sad for them, but I can't allow my heart to dwell too much on them. Through my career I had many dealings with such events, and the kids were the saddest. There are things I can never unsee. but I hope my memory fades enough.

 

[SquareBin]

I've been VERY close a few times, but the thought of my kids dealing with it always stopped me. I can understand how some go ahead with it though, because their thought processes are just too far gone, their hopes too far gone, their pain just too much to withstand anymore - they're not thinking about other people. I feel sad for them, but I can't allow my heart to dwell too much on them. Through my career I had many dealings with such events, and the kids were the saddest. There are things I can never unsee. but I hope my memory fades enough.

that was rough to read, I'm sorry you had to face this part of reality

 

[user 139760]

There are things I can never unsee. but I hope my memory fades enough.

I know what you mean. My memory is horrible. Yet, it's irking those are the things it can't seem to forget, isn't it?
I take some measure of comfort from "better me than someone else".
Someone else might not have made it in one piece.