What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?

[Sarah G]

Married life, undoubtedly the dumbest thing that I have done.

To be fair and balanced, it was not entirely bad. There was some lovely moments, and it enabled me to become a Dad.

However, I should have walked away in the first week. Warning signs were being raised regularly, only I chose to ignore them. She was freakishly insecure, paranoid, controlling, and an infrequent binge drinker.

Part of the issue was that at times, she had the ability to make me feel like a King. Together we did achieve many things, or at least, that how it seemed.

Throughout our relationship, I would be accused of sleeping with other women. It was so bad, if I conversed with a older woman or younger girl who happened to be serving at shop, then I had slept with her.

The.insecurities mounted. They would be bottled-up for a week or two, and then she would drink to punish me. He'll could break loose while she was drunk.

Within days of our daughter being born, the drink crept in. Vodka bottles were hidden around the house. Sometimes behind books on the shelves. Wrapped in towels at the bottom of draws. They were everywhere that you would not usually keep alcohol.

The final straw came when I had to call the Police, and have her removed from our home, following a 12 hour binge. I now retrospectively believe that she drank throughout the pregnancy.

Followed were nearly 6 years without any contact with my daughter. Every court order was breached. Every week came a new accusation against me. It was claimed that I had placed her in intensive care, with multiple significant head injuries.

I was investigated to point whereby I could not change the colour of my socks, without several court appointees being notified.

Court hearing after court hearing, Police checks, Social workers, and every microbe of life examined. Throughout, my daughter was never named, she was simply referred as Daughter - DOB....

After the many years of investigation, the court finally relented. Not a single piece of evidence was offered. No medical records, photographs, witnesses, or Police records against me. On the contrary, every incident that had occurred, I had been the victim.

The court ordered that my daughter have her name returned to mine, and parental responsibility was now mine. Similarly, the ex would be prosecuted if she brought any other issues to court.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year, or should that be rewind. Anyhow, after 18 years of telling people that she was an alcoholic, and being laughed at as being a bitter male; the ex drank herself into a permanent vegetative state, having suffered a significant bleed to the brain.

In the years following the separation, numerous discoveries were made. I should never have been there. More so, and I use the term retrospectively, again. Retrospectively, it was a life that I never actually wanted. Suburban horsey set, and all the supplementary superficial things. Ironically being isolated from friends and family, interests too. Paranoia overrun everything.

The legalities bankrupted me many years ago. We had gone from very respectable lifestyles, to almost absolutely nothing. The only things that I got from all those years were, my daughter, and the dog. Sadly, that dog has been gone 4 years now.

I do not even have a particularly good relationship with my daughter. Sadly, the autistic aspects means that she lives largely in her own world. Affection is very rare. Although, she is the sweetest, most innocent, and wonderfully intelligent little person. She just completely fails with social protocols or anything outside of her own immediate interests.

As absurd as this may seem, I do not dwell on matters. It often does not feel like a reality. Yet, too frequently I am reminded of what took place, and what was ruined by insecurities, paranoia, and alcohol.

Congratulations if you read this reply, sorry it was a but long.

That does sound like a nightmare. I don't know what to say. Thank goodness you got through it in one piece and relatively sane.

 

[StarDust]

Married life, undoubtedly the dumbest thing that I have done.

To be fair and balanced, it was not entirely bad. There was some lovely moments, and it enabled me to become a Dad.

However, I should have walked away in the first week. Warning signs were being raised regularly, only I chose to ignore them. She was freakishly insecure, paranoid, controlling, and an infrequent binge drinker.

Part of the issue was that at times, she had the ability to make me feel like a King. Together we did achieve many things, or at least, that how it seemed.

Throughout our relationship, I would be accused of sleeping with other women. It was so bad, if I conversed with a older woman or younger girl who happened to be serving at shop, then I had slept with her.

The.insecurities mounted. They would be bottled-up for a week or two, and then she would drink to punish me. He'll could break loose while she was drunk.

Within days of our daughter being born, the drink crept in. Vodka bottles were hidden around the house. Sometimes behind books on the shelves. Wrapped in towels at the bottom of draws. They were everywhere that you would not usually keep alcohol.

The final straw came when I had to call the Police, and have her removed from our home, following a 12 hour binge. I now retrospectively believe that she drank throughout the pregnancy.

Followed were nearly 6 years without any contact with my daughter. Every court order was breached. Every week came a new accusation against me. It was claimed that I had placed her in intensive care, with multiple significant head injuries.

I was investigated to point whereby I could not change the colour of my socks, without several court appointees being notified.

Court hearing after court hearing, Police checks, Social workers, and every microbe of life examined. Throughout, my daughter was never named, she was simply referred as Daughter - DOB....

After the many years of investigation, the court finally relented. Not a single piece of evidence was offered. No medical records, photographs, witnesses, or Police records against me. On the contrary, every incident that had occurred, I had been the victim.

The court ordered that my daughter have her name returned to mine, and parental responsibility was now mine. Similarly, the ex would be prosecuted if she brought any other issues to court.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year, or should that be rewind. Anyhow, after 18 years of telling people that she was an alcoholic, and being laughed at as being a bitter male; the ex drank herself into a permanent vegetative state, having suffered a significant bleed to the brain.

In the years following the separation, numerous discoveries were made. I should never have been there. More so, and I use the term retrospectively, again. Retrospectively, it was a life that I never actually wanted. Suburban horsey set, and all the supplementary superficial things. Ironically being isolated from friends and family, interests too. Paranoia overrun everything.

The legalities bankrupted me many years ago. We had gone from very respectable lifestyles, to almost absolutely nothing. The only things that I got from all those years were, my daughter, and the dog. Sadly, that dog has been gone 4 years now.

I do not even have a particularly good relationship with my daughter. Sadly, the autistic aspects means that she lives largely in her own world. Affection is very rare. Although, she is the sweetest, most innocent, and wonderfully intelligent little person. She just completely fails with social protocols or anything outside of her own immediate interests.

As absurd as this may seem, I do not dwell on matters. It often does not feel like a reality. Yet, too frequently I am reminded of what took place, and what was ruined by insecurities, paranoia, and alcohol.

Congratulations if you read this reply, sorry it was a but long.

Colster, Wow! Reading your story, I felt I was on a rollercoaster ride! I feel for your daughter drinking through pregnancy never good I have a stepson whose mother drank while pregnant with him. It takes a different mindset to understand him. He is in his 30's now and so far we kept him out of prison.. so that is good right? Thanks for sharing... and hang in there!

 

[ringwood]

Married life, undoubtedly the dumbest thing that I have done.

To be fair and balanced, it was not entirely bad. There was some lovely moments, and it enabled me to become a Dad.

However, I should have walked away in the first week. Warning signs were being raised regularly, only I chose to ignore them. She was freakishly insecure, paranoid, controlling, and an infrequent binge drinker.

Part of the issue was that at times, she had the ability to make me feel like a King. Together we did achieve many things, or at least, that how it seemed.

Throughout our relationship, I would be accused of sleeping with other women. It was so bad, if I conversed with a older woman or younger girl who happened to be serving at shop, then I had slept with her.

The.insecurities mounted. They would be bottled-up for a week or two, and then she would drink to punish me. He'll could break loose while she was drunk.

Within days of our daughter being born, the drink crept in. Vodka bottles were hidden around the house. Sometimes behind books on the shelves. Wrapped in towels at the bottom of draws. They were everywhere that you would not usually keep alcohol.

The final straw came when I had to call the Police, and have her removed from our home, following a 12 hour binge. I now retrospectively believe that she drank throughout the pregnancy.

Followed were nearly 6 years without any contact with my daughter. Every court order was breached. Every week came a new accusation against me. It was claimed that I had placed her in intensive care, with multiple significant head injuries.

I was investigated to point whereby I could not change the colour of my socks, without several court appointees being notified.

Court hearing after court hearing, Police checks, Social workers, and every microbe of life examined. Throughout, my daughter was never named, she was simply referred as Daughter - DOB....

After the many years of investigation, the court finally relented. Not a single piece of evidence was offered. No medical records, photographs, witnesses, or Police records against me. On the contrary, every incident that had occurred, I had been the victim.

The court ordered that my daughter have her name returned to mine, and parental responsibility was now mine. Similarly, the ex would be prosecuted if she brought any other issues to court.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year, or should that be rewind. Anyhow, after 18 years of telling people that she was an alcoholic, and being laughed at as being a bitter male; the ex drank herself into a permanent vegetative state, having suffered a significant bleed to the brain.

In the years following the separation, numerous discoveries were made. I should never have been there. More so, and I use the term retrospectively, again. Retrospectively, it was a life that I never actually wanted. Suburban horsey set, and all the supplementary superficial things. Ironically being isolated from friends and family, interests too. Paranoia overrun everything.

The legalities bankrupted me many years ago. We had gone from very respectable lifestyles, to almost absolutely nothing. The only things that I got from all those years were, my daughter, and the dog. Sadly, that dog has been gone 4 years now.

I do not even have a particularly good relationship with my daughter. Sadly, the autistic aspects means that she lives largely in her own world. Affection is very rare. Although, she is the sweetest, most innocent, and wonderfully intelligent little person. She just completely fails with social protocols or anything outside of her own immediate interests.

As absurd as this may seem, I do not dwell on matters. It often does not feel like a reality. Yet, too frequently I am reminded of what took place, and what was ruined by insecurities, paranoia, and alcohol.

Congratulations if you read this reply, sorry it was a but long.

Wow! Quite the story, Colster. I applaud you on coming out the other end with your dignity and positive attitude intact. honeysuckle like that would ruin many a good man - glad you persevered. As my dear ol' dad would say, Keep Smiling!

 

[Colster]

I've said somewhere else in another post, never be afraid of failures, learn from it. My marriage was a failure, but occasionally, my daughter teaches me things that blows my mind.

 

[ardour]

Married life, undoubtedly the dumbest thing that I have done.

To be fair and balanced, it was not entirely bad. There was some lovely moments, and it enabled me to become a Dad.

However, I should have walked away in the first week. Warning signs were being raised regularly. Only, I chose to ignore them. She was freakishly insecure, paranoid, controlling, and an infrequent binge drinker.

Part of the issue was that, at times, she had the ability to make me feel like a King. Together we did achieve many things, or at least, that how it seemed.

Throughout our relationship, I would be accused of sleeping with other women. It was so bad, if I conversed with a older woman or younger girl who happened to be serving at shop, then I had slept with her.

The insecurities mounted. They would be bottled-up for a week or two, and then she would drink to punish me. Hell could break loose while she was drunk.

Within days of our daughter being born, the drink crept in. Vodka bottles were hidden around the house. Sometimes behind books on the shelves. Wrapped in towels at the bottom of draws. They were everywhere that you would not usually keep alcohol.

The final straw came when I had to call the Police, and have her removed from our home, following a 12 hour binge. I now retrospectively believe that she drank throughout the pregnancy.

Followed were nearly 6 years without any contact with my daughter. Every court order was breached. Every week came a new accusation against me. It was claimed that I had placed her in intensive care, with multiple significant head injuries.

I was investigated to point whereby I could not change the colour of my socks, without several court appointees being notified.

Court hearing after court hearing, Police checks, Social workers, and every microbe of life examined. Throughout, my daughter was never named, she was simply referred as Daughter - DOB....

After the many years of investigation, the court finally relented. Not a single piece of evidence was offered. No medical records, photographs, witnesses, or Police records against me. On the contrary, every incident that had occurred, I had been the victim.

The court ordered that my daughter have her name returned to mine, and parental responsibility was now mine. Similarly, the ex would be prosecuted if she brought any other issues to court.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year, or should that be rewind. Anyhow, after 18 years of telling people that she was an alcoholic, and being laughed at as being a bitter male; the ex drank herself into a permanent vegetative state, having suffered a significant bleed to the brain.

In the years following the separation, numerous discoveries were made. I should never have been there. More so, and I use the term retrospectively, again. Retrospectively, it was a life that I never actually wanted. Suburban horsey set, and all the supplementary superficial things. Ironically being isolated from friends and family, interests too. Paranoia overrun everything.

The legalities bankrupted me many years ago. We had gone from very respectable lifestyles, to almost absolutely nothing. The only things that I got from all those years were, my daughter, and the dog. Sadly, that dog has been gone 4 years now.

I do not even have a particularly good relationship with my daughter. Sadly, the autistic aspects means that she lives largely in her own world. Affection is very rare. Although, she is the sweetest, most innocent, and wonderfully intelligent little person. She just completely fails with social protocols or anything outside of her own immediate interests.

As absurd as this may seem, I do not dwell on matters. It often does not feel like a reality. Yet, too frequently I am reminded of what took place, and what was ruined by insecurities, paranoia, and alcohol.

Congratulations if you read this reply, sorry it was a bit long.

I don't know how it's possible to come through all that sane of mind.

 

[Colster]

I don't know how it's possible to come through all that sane of mind.

Who said that I was sane?

I got up every day and went into battle. It is what you do as a parent. Quite possibly, there was some form of autonomous trauma response; fight or flight. Certainty, having come through, does not mean that there are not scars, battle wounds, and some losses. I

Some might even debate whether my own choices were right. Financially, no. Emotionally, no. The list could go on, and on. Personal perspectives play significantly in how you value the outcome.

It will not surprise me when the equal and opposite reaction occurs. At some point, I must open the Pandora's box of emotions.

 

[Sfgiantslover]

I have several that are candidates for the dumbest thing I've done:

- I once tried cutting my own hair the day before a baptism (I was 33 when I did this - the front was fine, but it is surprisingly hard to cut the back of your own hair - Jackie was furious when she saw this).

- I was changing the electric pilot ignitor on my water heater, and while I was holding the new one I pressed the button which gave me a painful shock (they produce a spark of a few thousand volts) - I honestly couldn't believe how badly it had hurt, so I pressed the button a second time. (yes, it really did hurt that much).

- The receptionist in my office gave me a can of pepper spray which I became curious about - but rather than spray it directly in my eyes, I did the "smart thing" and sprayed it on my hand, and rubbed it in my eyes.

- I was screwing around at my office and accidentally set the carpet on fire (I melted the sole of one of my shoes stomping it out).

Threatening to have cut Emily Castillo’s hair.

 

[dan27]

Get married too young.

Drink & Drive.

 

[Punisher]

Getting high at work with the two new guys, then purposely breaking a machine for fun. This was yesterday

I think I am turning into the people I work with.

 

[Finished]

Believing that the American dream was something for everybody.

 

[user 139760]

Who said that I was sane?

I got up every day and went into battle. It is what you do as a parent. Quite possibly, there was some form of autonomous trauma response; fight or flight. Certainty, having come through, does not mean that there are not scars, battle wounds, and some losses. I

Some might even debate whether my own choices were right. Financially, no. Emotionally, no. The list could go on, and on. Personal perspectives play significantly in how you value the outcome.

It will not surprise me when the equal and opposite reaction occurs. At some point, I must open the Pandora's box of emotions.

Hope you're doing good, man. I miss your insight, input and intelligence. You also deserve some good vibes going your way.