Thats the only loneliness you experience? You never feel like you wish you had a friend to just enjoy life with in a platonic way?
Yes, the need for a female in my life is the loneliness I feel and it is overwhelming.
Sometimes I get too depressed to function normally.
It comes on suddenly sometimes, but it causes me to just dwell on why things are like this for me, dwell on the past and stuff, and before I know it my entire day is shot.
Here's the thing. I do have friends. Some really great guys. Some I have known for over 30 years, other I have only known for a few years.
Some from decades ago, some from jobs I've had over the years, some, believe it or not, from a group we had on a "manosphere" site a number of years ago and we all stayed in touch and get together, and lately from my "mongering" (we have meetups, go to dinner & drinks, and sometimes even go to brothels together -- separate girls & rooms of course).
But, while "Hanging out with the guys" is fun enough, it just doesn't do it for me.
I absolutely need a female in my life. And not one I pay for. Someone who genuinely wants to be with me. Emptiness is a destroyer.
Today is a good example.
I have a day off and had lots of things I planned to take care of.
But instead I started dwelling on my situation, and I still have not gotten ready to go out.
Also, porn is very bad for this. Especially the "amateur porn". I watch it, and think about how I have never had a girl do those things with me for free like the guys in those videos and it really messes me up.