When did you Realize you are Invisible to the Opposite Sex?

[kanekistrange]

sometimes i feel like im just gonna fade away..most of the people ive met this past few years stopped talking to me and it just keeps getting lonelier and lonelier. i thought in time ill lose my social anxiety or atleast whenever i wont get so much attacks. i suppose no matter what i do things will stay the same. just gotta know how to endure this life i suppose.

 

[REDEMPTION]

Confidence is attractive because its the most visible, easily perceptible measure of someone's superficial worth.

Someone who has alot of friends, money, gets hit on for their looks, etc, will have no problem exuding confidence. A person who doesnt have alot going for them will not show alot of confidence.

Put a million dollars in my pocket tomorrow, and my confidence will increase dramatically. When someone sees me being confident they will subconsciously think: "he has something going for him that is why he is confident". In this case its I just inherited 1 million dollars. And they will be attracted to me.

It seems this is why I'm confident when it comes to foreign off-country online dating texting and voicechatting, where I have success. I meet guys with whom I make friends with, and girls to flirt. Friends bring confidence, it makes me have a higher social status and not like a basement loser who has no friends. Girls showing attention brings me confidence, it makes me feel like a king. I jerked one out with a korean girl on call together after getting called handsome and her sextalking her way to me. It brought me confidence since I'm being sexually desired.

Tons of messages popping up on my phone, guys to talk about gym routines, to play video games with, get drunk together on Discord or whatever fresia you can do together, on top of that girls rushing to me one after another. I didn't felt like an loser anymore.

They tell I'm such a great person with a great life and switch to a pokerface when I mention I never had a relationship or interest from females in real life before. "You must be popular, how can this be?", they said. Especially when I further go down the rabbit hole and reveal more about my true self.

Honestly I'm a way better texter than speaker - and a roleplayer/actor.

When it comes to real life, all that confidence and self esteem is essentially flushed down when it comes to meeting my real self - an introverted, socially inexperienced, mute, slightly depressed shut in loser with no friends, a terrible past including past suicidal thoughts with only embarrasing memories in public including rejections from local females for my physical appearence and closed-off, not so extroverted personality which worsened it all up and made me lose even more confidence than before. It once reached a point where I essentially believed I'm low-end quality honeysuckle and people such as me deserve to be filtered off this earth for good since nothing awaits for our future anyways. I have a great hygiene and take care of myself aswell as nice clothes, but it didn't help that much. Not to mention I have an robotic, emotionless, monotone voice it sounds borderline weird to others. I got a few comments on why my voice sounds so shaky or unnormal to girls I talked to when they finally "caught me".

Nothing else going except for a career.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I was never actually invisible to those ball bag swinging apes, they actively hated me, wanted me to feel depressed, targeted me… hunted me… I wish they didnt see me…

 

[TropicalStarfish]

When she saw right through me...

eh?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Attention has pretty much always made me anxious.
This weird thing happens to me where I can subtly, casually flirt and I don't overthink it because I don't overthink it.
But then the girl will pick up on it and flirt back and THAT throws me.

I'm like, What!? That wasn't supposed to work!
Why did that work?

And what I've come to learn is that a lot of the time with women, they're doing it for the exact same reason. Because they're just as flabbergasted by men.

I think that a lot of the time for both men and women that it's easy to get swept up into a fantasy that isn't a reality, especially when we're younger. Because what we think and feel a relationship is, versus what a relationship actually is, are two totally different things.

A lot of people I think struggle with just being able to have basic platonic communication with the opposite sex, especially when they're younger and less experienced in both love and relationships in life.

The rise of hookup culture massively skewers everyone's perception about everything.
While that existed before the days of the internet, the internet, really, just became a digital map of records for it that is openly available for everyone to view, that's all.
And so the people who weren't looking for that, suddenly realized how prominent that is, and yeah, it skewered everything for everyone and messed everything up in the regard.
Which is how you get women who have LINES of men because they are attractive, but feel as if they aren't attractive, because this digitized map has taught them that maybe they're not attractive and maybe men just are naturally dogs trying to get laid.

And that compounds the issue for men who aren't looking to just get laid, and respectfully the feminine counterweight of the exact same issue. I'd argue that it's algorithmically socially divisionary, splitting up men and women and making them not only fight against each other but also amongst each other as well, and even that's been digitally mapped.

And so anyone with a quarter of a brain that just wanted like a regular, normal, stable and standard monogamous relationship is now kind of traumatically psychologically shellshocked. Very similarly to cliche 70s and 80s movie high school dance scenes where nobody is dancing.

So then the question becomes, "Well Nox, once the ball gets rolling and people start coming onto the floor, where's that leave you?"

And the answer to that is...
I'm this kid:

 

[ardour]

Being invisible would have been preferable to insults, disgust or deliberate avoidance.

When I started losing hair as a literal child was probably when I first realized things weren't going to be working out for me on that front.