Whine!

[IgnoredOne]

Mhmm. I never really figured out why he was banned in the first place but that post really does remind me of him.

For violating the rules. It sounds like him because it is him.

 

[kamya]

Dood there are no rules :O

 

[Rambling Man]

Hello from a french server today.

Ya, as long as my friend is on here, there is no way I am leaving. Wish she would go to facebook, but it is up to her. She doesn't post, just comes to sit and read my profile I wrote for her. I also asked her to log in so I know she is ok. Since she seems to not want to talk. She gets herself into messes by spending too much time online and not doing important things.

Who knows what the rules really are? There are no real rules. If there were they would be posted. Instead it is a game of like/dislike people (plus some vague general rules like no name calling)and the mods on this site make up rules as they see fit. I have known that since all the crap with Robin. He started it really. Before him there had started to be some rules, sort of. Then they were taken down. I suppose people read them and worried so badly they would break the rules that they couldn't post and complained. Which wouldn't make sense to give into. When you give into that worrying you just get sucked into craziness.

I know how things are here and was rather trying to get banned anyway. I am simply too disgusted with the state of things here to want that account. Plus I want my friend to make up her mind and come somewhere else more healthy. Can't really say I did actually break anything. Other then ban evasion after the fact, lol. And giving myself away to make it a perma ban, lol.

Sorry to see them ganging up on you in that thread Ignored. I expect it in places like this. The only way to be good is to come across as bad. Have to expect to get punched in the face by people who have problems. Have to simply accept that. Manipulation is a matter of degree's and opinion. Anything can be declared manipulative. People can go off on and attack motivational speeches that are awesome. It matters more how influence is carried out. Many people here can't even accept the idea of an authority figure and are really going off on that. Not that I claim any authority.

I find it ironic how people will play a game of "it isn't your fault" and then expect people to better themselves after that. You end up thinking, it is other people's fault, so why change? Being at fault can give people incentive to see a need for change. It can be empowering. People can be knocked down and lay there or see things as a challenge and just stand up. Then there are people who try to use it to suck you into mentally ill reasoning and you just have to blow them off. Anyhow.

So ban this now... LOL.

 

[Sci-Fi]

tl;dr it all

But for cheese and cake of course this place attracts certain types of people. Not to sound like a ditsy high school blonde cheerleader but...HELLO!?!?! Have you not realized that you post on a Loneliness forum?

 

[Rambling Man]

So you have no idea what your responding to, but then respond anyway? Regardless of if it has anything to do with anything? I just love when people do that.

Sorry for continuing in this thread Equanox(sp). Go get dressed warm and go for a long walk, do something. Don't just sit and cry.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I said I didn't READ IT ALL! So I did read some of what you wrote, sorry if you didn't quite understand that. But now that you've positively identified who you really are I can just do what I did with you last time.

 

[SophiaGrace]

The problem that I see is that this forum is sort of a swirling vortex of illness. Mental illness is that way. People are pulled in by how the dynamics of mental illnesses tend to work. The closer to the center a person is the more distorted, painful, and unhealthy their reality. At it's worst it can get to a point where people can not see how they are the ones at fault for where they are or how they got there. Pain can become a welcome companion and an excuse to experience even more pain. This forum makes it comfortable, acceptable, and encourages illness. It makes it feel good to complain. People actually reward it with kindness which can cause people to do it even more. Instead of rejecting such behavior and pushing people to want to change it makes it comfortable to sit miserable. I know that people want that. It is the nightmare that haunts people and leads them to haunting others. People want to declare that they are in the right and that most of the world is in the wrong. They want to apply things to the world and not to themselves.

This place is definitely attracting certain types of people. Now not everyone here is the same, but the majority today are doing this here to different degrees. Even the mods seem in on it. Possibly fixating on a few tiny successes while ignoring the very real problems with their actions. Sometimes being too nice is the cruelest thing people can ever do. Not advocating cruelty either. The proper behavior is more in between.

I personally think punishment is not a good means to change people. It is better to ignore bad behavior and respond to good behavior. However, I would say people respond more to negative behavior here and tend to give less response to successes. People need to be rewarded for doing productive things. That encourages them to do even more productive things. Rewarding people for being unproductive has the opposite affect. Even if it seems like the kind thing to do. It in truth can encourage people to suffer more. People don't even need to know they are or understand the vortex they are caught in and pulling others into.

This is especially a problem when you put miserable people and people pleasers together as the two slowly destroy each other. One encourages the other to be excessively pleasing where nothing will ever be enough and the other wallows in misery to collect sympathy. The more miserable they can be the more kindness they can suck up. It is commonly seen with therapists and patients. It is totally unhealthy. Supply and demand though right?

The sad thing is the solution to peoples problems here are simple. So simple in fact that it is remarkable that people don't seem to realize they are merely a few hours away from their whole lives changing for the better forever. People here could do that for each other. Could do amazing things, but don't. Because people want to hear of others suffering to selfishly feel better about themselves. Because they think if the world just rewarded their suffering then they would want to stop, their problems would go away and the world would be a nicer place. Only it tends to not actually work that way. Miserable people want to sit in it with like minded people and have company in misery. So they suck you into the vortex and do everything they can to try to get you to be like them rather then doing something to change the problem. This is what therapists tend to do. Rather then getting up and helping people, they try to solve all problems with talking. If everyone tried that we would all starve as no one would grow crops or do anything else. Communication is important, but it has it's limits like everything else.

This dynamic is why a lot of people who work with the mentally ill that are in none mental health jobs have a tendency to get sick themselves and/or burnout.

People have to reach a point where they are willing to do whatever it takes to change. Have to get completely fed up with suffering. Fed up with seeking pity or encouraging pity. Have to take blame for the situation fully upon themselves and decide they want things to change for the better. Psychologists often discourage this as they are in this mess themselves. It is remarkable how much a part of the whole vortex they end up so often being.

I find it sad to see smart people such as you Equinox caught in the pull of this horrible vortex that sucks the life out of people. When someone is hurt and down often they tend to isolate and then they get even more sick. They seek out other sick people and tend to pull each other in if they can. A few weeks back I ran across Jales's couples thread and saw how so few bothered to post in it. People don't want to not be alone really. They want “sort of company” that “sort” of fixes their problem, but really doesn't.

The illness you people suffer from is your very perspective and viewpoint of the world. Try to immerse yourselves in some rational positivity. Recognize that your reality is your reflection, not really reality. It is your mind's representation of reality. This reflection can be so weird to understand how it defines everything you believe you see. It can make the world look dark and like everyone is in pain, but that is simply your reflection.

Anyway, I think people need to recognize that they “don't know, what they don't know” and go on a hunt for new things to look into as solutions to their problems. If something doesn't work very well then how long do you keep doing it until deciding to try something new and different? Why keep repeating things that lead to where you are over and over? If you are unhappy, then look into new solutions. Don't sit and let a vortex of misery suck you in. It isn't worth it. Even if it does seem sort of miserably comfortable.

The only chance people have is taking responsibility for everything in their life. Then they can see that it is their fault and not others. That they are the only ones who can change themselves. No one can change someone who is unwilling to change. Or if suffering isn't so bad, then don't change, but recognize that things will be just how they are now.

Oh thank you for having all the answers.

 

[Incognita]

****...this was so long ago. Sigh

 

[Incognita]

@Finished whats so funny

 

[Finished]

@Finished whats so funny

That you dug up an old thread and then posted it was so long ago. It made me laugh.

 

[Incognita]

That you dug up an old thread and then posted it was so long ago. It made me laugh.

...because it was about someone I knew.... (memories)


...And how time flies.

 

[Finished]

...because it was about someone I knew.... (memories)


...And how time flies.

Yes, yes it does.