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Why are you lonely???

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Azariah

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I used to be lonely but ever since I ditched self hatred things have gotten better. I still get existential crisis now and then especially when I'm bored. But listening to music helps me a lot especially soothing music. Rn I'm sitting at the front of my house, it's about 7 pm writing this. What does bother me now is when my mind questions what's reality because recently I was on drugs and saw all kinds of weird stuff. But remembering that people out there feel pain helps me know what's real.

So, why are you lonely and how can I help????
 

JJW

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We are social creatures. That loneliness makes us search out others, relationships. The premise is we are stronger in groups. Evolution developed the group mentality long ago. It was those people that survived to pass that need onto their offspring. Those that lacked the need of a group were at greater risk and likely didn't survive.

Lonely is what we feel when our group is too small or missing. Or perhaps our group isn't giving us what it is we need. Just because you are with a group of people doesn't mean that they are not destructive to you.

Lonely tells us we need something more.
 

Slick

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We are social creatures. That loneliness makes us search out others, relationships. The premise is we are stronger in groups. Evolution developed the group mentality long ago. It was those people that survived to pass that need onto their offspring. Those that lacked the need of a group were at greater risk and likely didn't survive.

Lonely is what we feel when our group is too small or missing. Or perhaps our group isn't giving us what it is we need. Just because you are with a group of people doesn't mean that they are not destructive to you.

Lonely tells us we need something more.
Sadly my entire group...closest friends and husband all passed very young...that's why I am alone...sometimes I am lonely and sometimes I like my alone time....have had no luck meeting a companion/partner or female friends that don't want , want , want ....
 

xephier102

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The premise is we are stronger in groups.
Meh, fuck groups. I've always preferred one on one. Because it's those situations in which you can be the most real, and not be judged for it. Sides, I think the desire to have another in your life is a purely selfish desire.

In a sense I thing Freud was onto something with the concept of us seeking partners that resemble our parents. But just not in the weird sexual way.. what we do seek is for someone to look upon us as our parents once did when we were babies or young children.

In growing up, we progressively lose that sense of being unconditionally loved by someone. And so we spend much of our adult lives trying to regain that feeling.

As a baby, anyone walking past may look upon you in a manner that makes you feel loved. But even in the latter stages of being a baby/toddler, you may notice fewer people looking upon you in that manner.

For me that was the first step (in clear memory) towards realizing that this world is flawed.

From there it's all about 'growing up', 'becoming an individual' and progressively losing anything that made me truly happy. Not that my childhood was all that happy to begin with, what with all the abuse, neglect, abandonment .etc.

I too used to be able to shrug off lonliness for even decades at a time, but now that I'm 40, on disability, and stuck in a tiny town during a pandemic; it's staring me right in the face on a daily basis.
 

Bratwurst0516

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Lonely in a physical sense. Because, I have to be able to trust that someone won't freak out about my physical health. If it suddenly goes haywire. Avoiding social contact because of potential exposure to Covid-19 is a major reason.
 

Efbee

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I used to be lonely but ever since I ditched self hatred things have gotten better. I still get existential crisis now and then especially when I'm bored. But listening to music helps me a lot especially soothing music. Rn I'm sitting at the front of my house, it's about 7 pm writing this. What does bother me now is when my mind questions what's reality because recently I was on drugs and saw all kinds of weird stuff. But remembering that people out there feel pain helps me know what's real.

So, why are you lonely and how can I help????
I'm not lonely so you can't help, but thanks just the same.
 

Aardra

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I'm lonely because I'm the "other." Never fully formed in anyone's eyes. Men are embarrassed to be seen holding hands with me. (y)
 

4No1

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Because of my weigth but may be it's just an excuse, if so I don't know the answer. Maybe I'm just lost here, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe it's a wrong Planet/Galaxy/Universe? Most likely it's just a wrong me)
 

Troopy

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Self employed, work from home, single, no family or friends nearby.
 

CFM

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My mom used to say I was born sad and lonely inside and maybe it's true because I don't remember a time when I didn't feel it creeping in around the edges.
~C
 

squidge

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i am lonely because women wont have anything to do with me, i am quiet natured so no one is interested , if i was a big ugly foul mouthed thug i would be popular with women but as i am not like that women wont have anything to do with me so i find pleasure in looking for ways to make women who reject me suffer and if i can i feel so happy. So to women who dont like me, you can all get stuffed.
 

kanekistrange

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i am lonely because women wont have anything to do with me, i am quiet natured so no one is interested , if i was a big ugly foul mouthed thug i would be popular with women but as i am not like that women wont have anything to do with me so i find pleasure in looking for ways to make women who reject me suffer and if i can i feel so happy. So to women who dont like me, you can all get stuffed.
dude thats so relatable..for the first part of your post atleast
 

JackNJ

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For me, I have always been lonely, even as a child because I came from a very toxic, disgusting, rotten, putrid family. It was dog eat dog in my family. I was the youngest and there was really no one around my age in the family. I come from a family where everybody just put one another down. My father was an alcoholic that it affected his life until the day he died. In the end he died a dry drunk that it affected his life physically, mentally and financially. My mother was the hysterical victim in every phase of her life who never did anything to try to improve it. I always said the mental abuse was far more damaging than any physical abuse and my father seriously messed my sisters up mentally.

I learned at a very young age to grow thick skin and learned and knew how to take the abuse because I grew with the mentality, “everybody takes a beating in life“. There are many people that know the disgusting family I came from and they all say, “how did you turn out okay”, if they only knew. Yes, they all see that I turned out okay and made a life for myself.

You could ask me to name a happy memory from my life and I cannot name one but yet I can name all the negative nasty memories growing up. We could sit for the rest of our lives and I could tell you stories about my family and I still wouldn’t be done.

I always craved family. I always craved being close with someone. I never had a close sibling. I never had a close friend to confide in. I could be very loyal and trusting but I never had that in return. I was pretty much always a loner and just kept to myself all my life. Put it this way, I always from a young age had it in my head, “In the end, family and friends only let you down“. Today, I still keep to myself because I don’t want to be let down. I don’t trust anyone, I don’t believe anyone and I will be the first to say that’s sad. People come to me when they want some thing but once they get what they want I don’t hear from them again so I stopped doing for others.

I was on my own from a very young age. All of my family has died off. It angers me that I find enjoyment knowing that they are all dead.

Now, that we are in November people are already talking about getting together with their families for the holidays and to this day, I still get jealous hearing about that they are getting together with their family for the holidays. I get jealous when someone could be telling a story that they spent the weekend with their brother and it was the greatest weekend. I remember one time sitting and talking with my ex brother-in-law and he was telling stories of his father and how close they were, he was adopted and as my brother-in-law told the stories I could feel the jealousy burning inside me because I never knew what that was like.

I always thought of how cool it could be and feel to have even just one person that would call me and I always didn’t have to call them just to check on my day and even just sit on the phone and not have nothing to say, just talk about stupidness.

It’s just my wife and kids and I here in NJ as my whole side of the family is all long dead and gone. My wife’s side of the family is scattered throughout the world with none here in NJ so it’s not like we can just all get together for a family dinner. My wife could be talking about her family growing up and I sit there in amazement because of how close her family is. When we went to Philippines throughout the years to visit her family I would just sit and watch her interact with her family and I was dumbfounded and couldn’t believe how close she was with them because I don’t know what that’s like.

i’m not the most fun guy in the world because I don’t have many hobbies or things that entertain me but I’m the type, I could just sit out back and shoot the shit if you know what I mean.

I make it harder for myself now because I have MS multiple sclerosis so I have difficulty walking at times so I spend a lot of time at home now. I can’t do what the average person can do physically. I never know how I’m going to feel from one minute to the next because the exhaustion is physically draining and there were times I have no strength, it takes a toll on you mentally at times.

That’s what makes me lonely!
 
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Finished

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I'm lonely because society and the government bombards me with BS showing and saying how everybody is supposed to be paired up, married, and have kids. It comes accross if you're alone then you must be weird. It's a constant reminder that I have nobody in my life. I do fine when I don't watch TV, listen the the radio, or go out in public. It sure feels great when I close the door after getting supplies.
 

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