Would you?

[Sunless Sky]

Would you make the first move when you see a girl you liked and/or were physically attracted to?

Or

Would you wait for her to notice you? Maybe positioning yourself in her line of sight? Coming up with situations where she has to talk to you?

What would you do?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I would not make the first move because I'm not into girls.

That said, if I was interested in a guy, I would make the first move. Life's too short to pussy foot around. Can't know if you don't try.

 

[Sunless Sky]

I would not make the first move because I'm not into girls.

That said, if I was interested in a guy, I would make the first move. Life's too short to pussy foot around. Can't know if you don't try.

I guess I should've made the situation more applicable to both genders.

It's just that I found it is expected of the male to make the first move. Even when most if the attraction comes from the female. In that case, the female would use more cunning and stealthy methods to make herself more noticeable to the male.

Why is that do you think? Is it behaviour that changes with age? Or is it simply subjective?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Because that's the way it's always been? I don't know, some people are still living in the middle ages or something. If I want something, I'm going to go for it. I don't give a honeysuckle about gender or society "norms."

But regardless of what gender you are, why wait for the other person to do it? That just increases your chances of never finding out and then regretting/wondering later.

 

[ewomack]

As far as starting relationships, it's not as different for women and men as it used to be. For instance, my wife asked me out. Similar to Callie above, she said that she didn't want to wait around guessing, so she just took the plunge. If it didn't work out, she said she just planned to move on. That was not only very refreshing and impressive, it worked out very well for both of us.

When I was dating, I tried to be friends first. It's possible, and very likely, to be attracted to people that you have absolutely nothing in common with. You won't know this until you spend some time with them. I tried to have a few dates that weren't really "dates" first to see if I wanted to continue. It created far less pressure for both people. Plus, if she said no to a casual date then it was pretty likely that she didn't want to date me at all.

As for trying to get into her line of sight or waiting for her to notice you... you could be waiting a very long time. And you could end up looking strange or creepy. If you're interested, just try to start things slowly. Find some innocent reason to talk to her. Also, don't rely too much on physical attraction, because you may end up liking her looks but not her personality. Attractiveness never makes up for a bad personality. Some people have to learn this the hard way.

But if you're interested, definitely do something. Talk to her. Ask her to lunch. Anything.

 

[U-122]

I personally wouldn't do either. I wouldn't be in such situation. Your situation is different. Back in my days when i had some game and was something i created neutral situations where i wouldn't approach first and they wouldn't notice me but circumstances brought us together. Nobody made the fist move. It just happened. Only one time i waste a lot of time and energy to be noticed. We were friends or friendly. My hormones thought i should be more than friends with her. I asked. She rejected. I was relieved, never wasted time with her again. If you have some game, approach and ask. Getting involved in easy. It's what happens afterwards you need to worry about.

 

[Finished]

Yes I would absolutely make the first move. First I would engrain her image into my memory for later. Then I would turn around and walk off knowing it's not worth the trouble. The fantasy of her will be way better then anything in real life.

 

[4No1]

^ It's exactly what I do... ( except I'm not into girls )
Because I'm chicken and don't know how to. I don't think it's because of my gender.A lot of my female woman friends took the first step. In most couples I know a woman was the first.
So my advise (which I don't listen to) is to make it, no matter what's your gender.

 

[Lemonbalm]

I would definitely try talking and being friendly with her first, as I think you would have a much better chance of her agreeing to go out on a date with you if she's been able to get to know you a little bit, and can see that you're a nice person. As Ewomack has already said, hanging around hoping she'll notice you probably won't work, and you could just end up looking a bit weird and stalkerish!

Whatever you decide to do - good luck! Let us know how it goes!

 

[TogetherAlone]

Would you make the first move when you see a girl you liked and/or were physically attracted to?

Or

Would you wait for her to notice you? Maybe positioning yourself in her line of sight? Coming up with situations where she has to talk to you?

What would you do?

Honestly given my autism and anxiety I would not make the first move and probably just try to avoid the situation entirely =/