but its like why dont men who have slept with a lower number than they’d like to… feel sooo “familial” for example? Seems to be virgin only phenomenon
Because never having slept with anyone at all, is the worse problem, that makes the people dealing with it feel stronger emotions. It makes you feel worse about yourself than just not having slept with as many women as you would like, or this and that woman, etc.
When you've slept with someone, it's over, the problem is solved, you know at least someone wants or wanted you, and you can have peace of mind that you're "good enough" to be wanted. You don't have to worry anymore about being so inferior, such a loser, that no one wants you. You don't have to worry about having been muscled out of a basic life experience. You don't have to worry anymore that there is something inherently wrong with you, something at your core that you can't fix, cut out of you, or separate yourself from, that makes you just not good enough, where not being good enough is a fundamental trait of who you are.
The thing about guys and virginity is, when no woman wants you, chooses you, when you're not good enough for anyone, it's like an insult, an indignity, a humiliation that cuts you to the very core of your being - probably one of the gravest, worst insults there is, because it implies that you're weak, but not that you're just
doing something wrong and you can fix it, or it's not a temporary state of being - it's who and what you are and will always be, and you can't do or be any better. It's like saying that you're powerless, ineffectual, in life to be kicked around. It's like you're fundamentally defective and inferior, low-status and low-quality, inherently a loser, and like you're being dominated not only by other guys but by life itself, where life is making you its b*tch. It burns.
It's to the point where I would say, a regular guy but who has a girlfriend, would be "beating" a rich guy who can't attract anyone (if such a person existed, probably not because wealth is inherently attractive in men).
Guys that complain that they've slept with less women than they would prefer, are like people who complain they can only afford a used Ferrari instead of being able to buy a new one. Or like saying, I only have $1 million, instead of $100 million. It's about as much of a first world problem as one can get. On the other hand guys who haven't slept with anyone at all, are like people with crap jobs in a crap neighborhood. It's the difference between people whose needs are being met but not exceeded as much as they would like, versus people whose needs aren't being met at all, and being insulted at the same time.
And it goes without saying that when I say "slept with" I'm only talking about where the person actually wants you, like a relationship or even a hookup where someone at least finds you attractive enough for that - that's why just paying for it does nothing to help, among other things. It's sex, but it doesn't make you good enough, and only serves to highlight that you're not.