L
Luna
Guest
For the past few months, I've been trying to make progress on developing my social skills, making friends etc without much success.
Going to volunteer groups etc - I still don't quite fit in cause I'm a bit shy despite me trying to be more open.
It's just who I am. I'm not the loud, popular centre-of-attention types and do not want to be - but whatevs - that's not the point.
I've had more success in finding people online. The women seem to want me to wine and dine them...lmao I'm not doing that. The men seem alright, until they start making the moves on me despite me strictly stating that it is only platonic.
I suppose my intense paranoia that has been gradually building for the past while is due to unfortunate experiences I've had with men (angry stalkers); but nonetheless - I find myself almost just instinctively assessing for the following in a first meeting/ or the beginnings of a new friendship:
1. Rapist Potential
I don't know what it is about me - but people always suggest to me that I look vulnerable/ easy to take advantage of etc because of my "baby-face", mellowness, quiet voice and lack of confrontation.
I have a lovely family member that keeps reminding me that I'll probably be raped one day cause I look like easy prey and won't tell the police. I **** well will and will burn the ************ that tries to do harm to me.
There is nothing more f***ing scary than when you meet someone for the first time, and they're licking their lips, sticking out their assets, and trying to get in close to you and breathing down your neck.
I had chatted with someone for a few weeks on an online website and was going to meet them until they said that they ARE going to have a shower with me. I said no. They then said something along the lines:
"I AM GOING TO SHOWER WITH YOU AND YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTION."
What.the.fresia.
2. Angry people
Nothing is a bigger turn-off than an angry person.
Take this situation: I was excited that I had made a new friend (male). While shopping at Winners (Clothing/ Home Store), he got upset when I didn't follow him around to look at men's clothes...as I wanted to look at women's clothes instead for myself.
So I followed him around...he asked me what I think of orange on men.
I said I don't like it.
He got extremely mad and personally offended as that is his favourite colour.
Which reminds me, another time he showed up in some stylish outfit that I didn't notice. I don't notice men's clothing...it all looks the same to me. Plus I like...t-shirt and jeans; I don't care for fashionistas.
Got horribly angry at me for not noticing his new shirt, jeans, jacket etc.
3. Emotionally Needy and Controlling
The above-mentioned individual...every few days would be "How is our friendship coming along" "Are you mad at me?" "Do you want to be really good close friends? Really, really good friends with me?".
If I was quiet (sometimes I just don't feel talkative), he would take it as a slam and interpreted as something against him.
Another encounter: I was approached in a parking lot by some older fellow who had followed me all the way to the grocery store. (lololwhydidntthisalarmme)
I thought he was friendly and gave him my number.
I went out with family that same evening and forgotten my phone at home. When I checked on my phone, I had several voicemails - all sounding progressively angry and upset. I didn't respond, and got calls from him (also on different phone numbers) almost everyday for about 8 months+.
Conclusion
Because I'm an ass and scared for my safety, I've stop contacting all of the above-mentioned individuals and refer to them as my "creepers".
The bottom-line is I find that getting to know people is exhausting and downright scary sometimes. If you are doing any of the above that I have indicated - there is a reason why people are running away.
Desperation is off-putting and when you're sending your "interest" blank and cryptic texts - despite them telling you not to contact them - it is not cool...wish they'd stop already.
I figure, THE HELL WITH PEOPLE...I think I'm comfortable with just what I have now. I don't have much for online friends (less than I can count on one hand, and people come and go) but I figure it's better than encountering any more weirdos out there in the real world.
At least the internetz peeps can't killz me woot woot.
Going to volunteer groups etc - I still don't quite fit in cause I'm a bit shy despite me trying to be more open.
It's just who I am. I'm not the loud, popular centre-of-attention types and do not want to be - but whatevs - that's not the point.
I've had more success in finding people online. The women seem to want me to wine and dine them...lmao I'm not doing that. The men seem alright, until they start making the moves on me despite me strictly stating that it is only platonic.
I suppose my intense paranoia that has been gradually building for the past while is due to unfortunate experiences I've had with men (angry stalkers); but nonetheless - I find myself almost just instinctively assessing for the following in a first meeting/ or the beginnings of a new friendship:
1. Rapist Potential
I don't know what it is about me - but people always suggest to me that I look vulnerable/ easy to take advantage of etc because of my "baby-face", mellowness, quiet voice and lack of confrontation.
I have a lovely family member that keeps reminding me that I'll probably be raped one day cause I look like easy prey and won't tell the police. I **** well will and will burn the ************ that tries to do harm to me.
There is nothing more f***ing scary than when you meet someone for the first time, and they're licking their lips, sticking out their assets, and trying to get in close to you and breathing down your neck.
I had chatted with someone for a few weeks on an online website and was going to meet them until they said that they ARE going to have a shower with me. I said no. They then said something along the lines:
"I AM GOING TO SHOWER WITH YOU AND YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTION."
What.the.fresia.
2. Angry people
Nothing is a bigger turn-off than an angry person.
Take this situation: I was excited that I had made a new friend (male). While shopping at Winners (Clothing/ Home Store), he got upset when I didn't follow him around to look at men's clothes...as I wanted to look at women's clothes instead for myself.
So I followed him around...he asked me what I think of orange on men.
I said I don't like it.
He got extremely mad and personally offended as that is his favourite colour.
Which reminds me, another time he showed up in some stylish outfit that I didn't notice. I don't notice men's clothing...it all looks the same to me. Plus I like...t-shirt and jeans; I don't care for fashionistas.
Got horribly angry at me for not noticing his new shirt, jeans, jacket etc.
3. Emotionally Needy and Controlling
The above-mentioned individual...every few days would be "How is our friendship coming along" "Are you mad at me?" "Do you want to be really good close friends? Really, really good friends with me?".
If I was quiet (sometimes I just don't feel talkative), he would take it as a slam and interpreted as something against him.
Another encounter: I was approached in a parking lot by some older fellow who had followed me all the way to the grocery store. (lololwhydidntthisalarmme)
I thought he was friendly and gave him my number.
I went out with family that same evening and forgotten my phone at home. When I checked on my phone, I had several voicemails - all sounding progressively angry and upset. I didn't respond, and got calls from him (also on different phone numbers) almost everyday for about 8 months+.
Conclusion
Because I'm an ass and scared for my safety, I've stop contacting all of the above-mentioned individuals and refer to them as my "creepers".
The bottom-line is I find that getting to know people is exhausting and downright scary sometimes. If you are doing any of the above that I have indicated - there is a reason why people are running away.
Desperation is off-putting and when you're sending your "interest" blank and cryptic texts - despite them telling you not to contact them - it is not cool...wish they'd stop already.
I figure, THE HELL WITH PEOPLE...I think I'm comfortable with just what I have now. I don't have much for online friends (less than I can count on one hand, and people come and go) but I figure it's better than encountering any more weirdos out there in the real world.
At least the internetz peeps can't killz me woot woot.