I feel rejected even though I've never approached a girl before

All through my school life and even now in college, I would be the ignored guy. Say we were a group of 10 guys. Girls would talk to 9 of them and leave me out.

And I'm not just making this up. I've experienced this in actuality, in college where every guy made a gal-friend in the first few days but me. They would somehow automatically seem to connect while I would be the one alienated.

That's probably where my fear of rejection comes from, even though I've never approached a girl before.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Perhaps you should try approaching a girl before you complain about being rejected. You have to put in some effort if you want positive results.

SomeoneSomewhere said:

All through my school life and even now in college, I would be the ignored guy. Say we were a group of 10 guys. Girls would talk to 9 of them and leave me out.

And I'm not just making this up. I've experienced this in actuality, in college where every guy made a gal-friend in the first few days but me. They would somehow automatically seem to connect while I would be the one alienated.

That's probably where my fear of rejection comes from, even though I've never approached a girl before.

Has this happened to anyone else?

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yes of course to lots of people.

It happened to me.

Looks, physical, attitude, confidence, courage, character, they all play a part.

It's not healthy dwelling on comparing yourself to others. You've got your own checklist and change the things where you feel you are lacking.

I have to agree, I'm not as good looking as Brad Pitt or as ripped as Stephen Amell, As witty as Stephen Fry as good a singer as Russell Watson.... By all of these standards i'm a real loser. So I don't expect to be these people in these things. I'm a bad Singer true, but I'm Smarter and Wittier then most and I have charm and self earned confidence (earned through picking myself up every time I got shot down).

Measure yourself to your own standards, not to everyone elses, you'll be happier and it'll show.

I think the discussion is being steered way off course here. It isn't about me comparing myself to the other guys that I mentioned or "Why didn't I get a girl when they did".

It's more about "What's wrong with me as I'm the only one left out!!!!".

No, you haven't been the only one having been left out.

I know people in their late 20s that are completely left out in the cold in the romantic department.

So, yeah.

Know why this happens?

I know why it happened/still kinda happens to me, I think it's different for everyone who gets that.

SomeoneSomewhere said:

I think the discussion is being steered way off course here. It isn't about me comparing myself to the other guys that I mentioned or "Why didn't I get a girl when they did".

It's more about "What's wrong with me as I'm the only one left out!!!!".

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I know what you mean because it happened to me. I used to go out in a group of blokes and all of them would talk to women, dance or whatever except me. Women would ignore me, not even glance in my direction. It was like I wasn't there ! And it didn't matter if I spoke or whatever they would turn their backs away from me !

This happened every time I went out to meet people.

The reason was nobody liked me. For whatever reason, they didn't. So they avoided me or ignored me.

So the answer is your the least 'liked' of the group and that's why your left out !

Now, we're getting somewhere!

How can someone not like me when they don't even know me?

social cues, appearances

perfanoff said:

social cues, appearances

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What if I say that I wasn't the ugliest of the lot?

then:
social cues, appearances

So, do you actually talk to these women, or do you wait for them to do the talking? If they don't seem interested, maybe you aren't giving them a reason to be interested.

SomeoneSomewhere said:

perfanoff said:

social cues, appearances

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What if I say that I wasn't the ugliest of the lot?

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it's not totally about looks. It's more how friendly you appear to people. There will be something about you that makes people think twice about talking to you. Your probably unaware what it is.

I didn't smile much when I was younger so people thought I was a miserable sod. And I wasn't great at conversations so when they tried talking to me, I would hardly answer - so they wouldn't bother in the future. The saying is 'someone is hard work' - they are hard to talk to, hard to get along with.

I've no idea what I was like 20 years ago but I probably never looked anyone in the eye or mumbled a lot or appeared aggressive or rude or uninteresting. What helped me was working in retail were I was forced to interact with people. I have learned to talk to people. Therefore I appear more friendly to people. Talking to people is a skill that you have to learn, what to say and when. Asking people how they are, learning to tell a funny story etc.

Another thing is when I was 20 I wanted women to notice me. Now I don't want them to. I don't want attention so when women don't notice me or look at me - I'm not bothered. When I was 20 it upset me because I wanted these to notice me.

To the OP: I think your problem is that you're putting girls on the pedestal. They aren't angels. They aren't pure. They aren't harpies either. All of them have some sexual fantasy and fetish. They are just like guys except they have a vagina and boobs. I honestly don't see any difference between them and guys than that. Stop trying to "play" them, or pick them up. (that happens after you master the skill of talking to them) Besides what does "rejection" mean when all you are doing is talking?

You need to stop trying so hard and just have fun, with the caveat being you've completed all your serious work. Make a joke of how lame something is, make fun of someone for being weird, give a serious compliment. It's not hard to butter someone up, the fun part is knocking them down a peg afterwards, lol!

Well, I don't know about you or girls, but I'd love to be put on a pedestal. Maybe respect and admiration is bad for you, for me it isn't.

I get ignored sexually, but women make friends with me. But I know what It's like to be ignored.