I feel like nobody will like me unless I have something

Senamian said:

I have to agree with the above post... It is just how society is now. It's ridiculous... I have met people who bend over backwards to do what others want and be what others want... They are the most fake, miserable people I know. I used to date one. He never understood... That material items were not desired. But that is how he learned to gain and keep love!

I don't know your backstory... But plain and simple... What if? What if you did become what she/they want? What if you cannot keep it up? What if it exhausts you mentally, even physically? Their blood-supply will be depleted and they'll move onto the next poor victim who'll do the same, and end up the same. You may end up further behind than you would have ever imagined yourself to be.

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VanillaCreme said:

I think that's just your attitude about it. Some sort of insecurity, because this isn't the first instance of you saying something similar to this. I think that you think you have to have things for someone to like you. It goes both ways. There are people who will only want things from you. But there are also people who don't care either way. People who would accept you when you have absolutely nothing. It might be the general perception of society, but being materialistic and shallow doesn't apply to every single person.

Say you do have things - whatever it is that you believe that someone would want - and they still don't like you? Then you'd really have no reason, other than the fact that there doesn't have to be a reason for someone not to like you.

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African_weasel said:

VanillaCreme said:

I think that's just your attitude about it. Some sort of insecurity, because this isn't the first instance of you saying something similar to this. I think that you think you have to have things for someone to like you. It goes both ways. There are people who will only want things from you. But there are also people who don't care either way. People who would accept you when you have absolutely nothing. It might be the general perception of society, but being materialistic and shallow doesn't apply to every single person.

Say you do have things - whatever it is that you believe that someone would want - and they still don't like you? Then you'd really have no reason, other than the fact that there doesn't have to be a reason for someone not to like you.

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Maybe it's more deeply rooted then that. Plus there are people who don't like you because you care about someone else success and building a relationship with them. I had someone complain about me visiting someone at her workplace, which was up the street from my taekwondo studio, saying that I went there twice a week and brought her food which I didn't do. That one time I did visit her twice a week was because she skipped school and missed a test.

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African_weasel said:

This does not apply to the people I work with, just this person from school that I graduated from.

It's like every time I check my archive to validate something I see this email that this person sent to me. We never talked face to face.

And then there's this other person saying that I won't be able to make friends. *sigh*

Honestly I wish I lied and said that I had something to do over the weekend when I really didn't. I guess that's what happens when you're over eager to hang out with somebody. I blame myself for not going to lacrosse conditioning and practicing my skills at home, then maybe I would not have felt so lonely and have somebody say I did something I did not do at all. The email is down below, I think it can explain what's going on in my head.

---

(This is the email btw)I don't know you very well, but here, this is my two cents.

You seem to be normal, I assume you are employable, though doesn't seem like you work yet, and you have given some thought and consideration to the past, what went wrong, and you want to try again, so your not a total ****** bag.

Lets take stock of her. Young, not exactly on a specified course, kind apparently, sweet, pretty, witty, loves to party, loves the "life", and has something going on upstairs in terms of practical sense. Lives at home with mom and dad still. What does it all mean? she is still young inside, not quite ready to be on her own per say. So, you are a young man and you want her. This period of life is flux, period, so trying to get exclusive with her is tough. She is no longer in a stable day to day, she has to start thinking about the future, isn't able to make all of her own decisions, and likes to hang out and party (ie, guys, girls, lots of possibilities).

Lets put the two of you together . . . hmmmmmm. Ok, what YOU need. A job, your own place, and some SENSIBLE plan, nothing Dr. Evil here, but like two years out, show some thought and caring about the future. The job is paramount, you have to show you're capable of providing. All women want a man that can tow the line, at least a simple basic one. The rest of the "charms" can make up for the lack of big money, but you can't "suck". As I write this she is posting about her parents and how they fight over money. Never let that be a big issue, or it can kill you off as a man, a woman needs to feel protected and cared for, and a man that doesn't provide feels like a man that doesn't care.

Second, school, that's part of the future plan. Unless you have trade you're going into, CC is gonna be part of your vocab for a long time. Show you are serious too.

Once those two things are in place, then you can step up the "mac". As for the here and now, start talking about these things with her. She can see the process of thought turned into action. Ask her out on friendly terms once in a while and then follow it up with intelligent conversation about OTHER things, not just the two of you, but you, what you have going on, and don't let those be pipe dreams, make SOMETHING happen, try, and make something happen. The effort and some result goes a LONG LONG LONG way to showing you're not a quitter and she can count on you to go the extra mile. If you're trying, then she feels safe, and most women will go down in flames with a guy they feel would go down in flames for them.

As for the past, clean that up WHILE showing this effort. Show her you can think on your feet. Work, learn, and attend to her when you can, and then little by little, she will know she can depend on you as a friend. It's most important to be friends first, then lovers. None of this is rocket science of course, except knowing maybe what she will see in all this, that's the secret maybe. Know what will show her you're stepping up, and then do it, and then openly offer it to her, show her your efforts you gladly share with her. Above all though, she is a girl that needs time I think, the most valuable thing in the world, and that is something you will have to buckle down on, she is not heartless, and she needs to be fed in her soul, that's the party in her, she feels, so never forget that.

Ok, so big picture laid out, details, I know few, so if you need fill in the blanks, ask, otherwise there you have it man.



P.S. Please don't judge me too harshly. I have or had really thick skin but not so much now.

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theglasscell said:

African_weasel said:

This does not apply to the people I work with, just this person from school that I graduated from.

It's like every time I check my archive to validate something I see this email that this person sent to me. We never talked face to face.

And then there's this other person saying that I won't be able to make friends. *sigh*

Honestly I wish I lied and said that I had something to do over the weekend when I really didn't. I guess that's what happens when you're over eager to hang out with somebody. I blame myself for not going to lacrosse conditioning and practicing my skills at home, then maybe I would not have felt so lonely and have somebody say I did something I did not do at all. The email is down below, I think it can explain what's going on in my head.

---

(This is the email btw)I don't know you very well, but here, this is my two cents.

You seem to be normal, I assume you are employable, though doesn't seem like you work yet, and you have given some thought and consideration to the past, what went wrong, and you want to try again, so your not a total ****** bag.

Lets take stock of her. Young, not exactly on a specified course, kind apparently, sweet, pretty, witty, loves to party, loves the "life", and has something going on upstairs in terms of practical sense. Lives at home with mom and dad still. What does it all mean? she is still young inside, not quite ready to be on her own per say. So, you are a young man and you want her. This period of life is flux, period, so trying to get exclusive with her is tough. She is no longer in a stable day to day, she has to start thinking about the future, isn't able to make all of her own decisions, and likes to hang out and party (ie, guys, girls, lots of possibilities).

Lets put the two of you together . . . hmmmmmm. Ok, what YOU need. A job, your own place, and some SENSIBLE plan, nothing Dr. Evil here, but like two years out, show some thought and caring about the future. The job is paramount, you have to show you're capable of providing. All women want a man that can tow the line, at least a simple basic one. The rest of the "charms" can make up for the lack of big money, but you can't "suck". As I write this she is posting about her parents and how they fight over money. Never let that be a big issue, or it can kill you off as a man, a woman needs to feel protected and cared for, and a man that doesn't provide feels like a man that doesn't care.

Second, school, that's part of the future plan. Unless you have trade you're going into, CC is gonna be part of your vocab for a long time. Show you are serious too.

Once those two things are in place, then you can step up the "mac". As for the here and now, start talking about these things with her. She can see the process of thought turned into action. Ask her out on friendly terms once in a while and then follow it up with intelligent conversation about OTHER things, not just the two of you, but you, what you have going on, and don't let those be pipe dreams, make SOMETHING happen, try, and make something happen. The effort and some result goes a LONG LONG LONG way to showing you're not a quitter and she can count on you to go the extra mile. If you're trying, then she feels safe, and most women will go down in flames with a guy they feel would go down in flames for them.

As for the past, clean that up WHILE showing this effort. Show her you can think on your feet. Work, learn, and attend to her when you can, and then little by little, she will know she can depend on you as a friend. It's most important to be friends first, then lovers. None of this is rocket science of course, except knowing maybe what she will see in all this, that's the secret maybe. Know what will show her you're stepping up, and then do it, and then openly offer it to her, show her your efforts you gladly share with her. Above all though, she is a girl that needs time I think, the most valuable thing in the world, and that is something you will have to buckle down on, she is not heartless, and she needs to be fed in her soul, that's the party in her, she feels, so never forget that.

Ok, so big picture laid out, details, I know few, so if you need fill in the blanks, ask, otherwise there you have it man.



P.S. Please don't judge me too harshly. I have or had really thick skin but not so much now.

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He lost me at "vocab".

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