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Triple Bogey

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What happened the first time you asked somebody out on a date ?

Mine - I was 17 and I had this crush on this lass at school. I was so bold in those days. I rang her up. I was nervous but I went thru with it. She was out, her mother answered. I left my name and said 'thanks'

I would be seeing her the next day at school. I wondered what would happen. Would she come and ask me what I wanted ? Would she be nice or horrible.

I was nervous going into school. She never said a thing to me, didn't mention it, didn't even speak. I was sat in her class as well. She started a conversation with one of her friends and started talking about some bloke in a loud voice. She was saying 'what boyfriend ?' - I am sure it was for my benefit. Felt horrible listening to them. I guess I got zero respect, didn't even get a 'no thanks'.

That was the first of dozens of similar situations like that.
 
I haven't officially done it yet. Long distance situations don't allow for that.

I went on a half date once, not sure what she really saw it as one and it didn't really end like it was a date. Aside from some awkwardness that is.
 
I haven't done that neither...

I've never been with a girl on a date (not even with other friends).

Just school or work, nothing more.
 
Lol, I was young. Jr, high maybe? I called to see if they wanted to go to a school dance with me. Rejected. It was ok though, I got over it fast.
 
Well it was a girl I used to work with, she did seem interested in me as we often talked and she time to come and speak to me.

So I plucked up the courage and asked if she wanted to go out after work.

She laughed in my face, told me she was never interested in my and proceeded to tell everyone in the office.

Turns out she was actually interested in the guy who worked opposite me and used her trips to speak to me as a way to try to get his attention.

I've not tried since.
 
Midnight Sky said:
I was literally laughed to the face.
Click to expand...

Same here. I was 17. Took me about 3 1/2 years to build up the courage to ask the girl I had a crush on in high school out. Took her some flowers. And she just laughed at me. Then her friends laughed. Then just anyone else nearby laughed .... "Why the fresia would anyone want to be around you?". And they are right, apparently.
 
Cucuboth said:
Midnight Sky said:
I was literally laughed to the face.
Click to expand...

Same here. I was 17. Took me about 3 1/2 years to build up the courage to ask the girl I had a crush on in high school out. Took her some flowers. And she just laughed at me. Then her friends laughed. Then just anyone else nearby laughed .... "Why the fresia would anyone want to be around you?". And they are right, apparently.
Click to expand...

No just the opinion of a group of daft school girls. You shouldn't even value their opinions about you at all !
 
Some very sorry tales on this thread. What saddens me the most is not the guys who have been rejected at high school (clearly it hurt and it isn't the impact I am on about) - it's that the same shitty teenage 'who'd want to go out with you' crap seems to happen to people at work, too. Long after the intended dates have age as an excuse for such behaviour.

Very sad.:(
 
jaguarundi said:
Some very sorry tales on this thread. What saddens me the most is not the guys who have been rejected at high school (clearly it hurt and it isn't the impact I am on about) - it's that the same shitty teenage 'who'd want to go out with you' crap seems to happen to people at work, too. Long after the intended dates have age as an excuse for such behaviour.

Very sad.:(
Click to expand...

It sounds like people on here try and when it goes all wrong, they lose hope and don't bother again. Which is sad. I asked this lass out at work in 1998 and she went nuts and eventually reported me to the manager claiming she 'didn't feel comfortable' when I was near her. Nothing happened of course because I didn't do anything wrong but it effected me so much. I didn't ask another woman out for 13 years, something like that. Why I took so much notice of the opinion of the original woman I don't know ? - She is a **** and I should have dismissed her view as honeysuckle and carried on asking women out who I liked. I thought I was some kind of monster who didn't deserve anything.

All those wasted years. :(
 
^It seems to be the nature of the kind of people on ALL to take to heart the rejections. I guess other (normal??) people would just laugh it off or say, 'that person is a ..... whatever and take no notice, and, as you say, carry on asking women out.

The converse - this is not per se a 'asking someone out' story, but I hope you bear with me. When I was young I wasn't too horrible looking a woman. I was tall, reasonably slim and always fairly well endowed in the er, chest department, which made me a bit self-conscious when I was a lass.

Anyway I was in my early twenties, I had (as women always do) been on a diet, felt good about myself and went to a party, wearing a new dress which fitted well, and made the most of everything I had. And while getting a drink I overheard one guy say to another - that one doesn't look too bad. And the other, looking me up and down in an unpleasant way, then looked me full in the face said loudly ' Doesn't do anything for me. Too much meat and not enough gravy." Then they both had a good laugh.

I never wore that dress again, I didn't go to a party again for ages and I never wore anything low cut again for years and years.. I did not know these men - so why did they do that? And I still remember it, obviously, and it was over 30 years ago!
 
pieflavor said:
I'm sorry this happened to you. : /
Click to expand...

Thanks PF. Thing I was trying to get at, really, is that after this, if a guy looked at me, or spoke to me, I thought it was because he thought I was gross, or whatever, and, as TripleBogey says, it wasted my time, because there were decent men out there I blanked because I was afraid they did not like me!

It was years ago, obviously, but it kind of is the girlie-side of turning guys down (not that I EVER did it the way it happened to bogey-baby) because I thought they simply didn't mean it... or were taking the piss..
 
jaguarundi said:
^It seems to be the nature of the kind of people on ALL to take to heart the rejections. I guess other (normal??) people would just laugh it off or say, 'that person is a ..... whatever and take no notice, and, as you say, carry on asking women out.

The converse - this is not per se a 'asking someone out' story, but I hope you bear with me. When I was young I wasn't too horrible looking a woman. I was tall, reasonably slim and always fairly well endowed in the er, chest department, which made me a bit self-conscious when I was a lass.

Anyway I was in my early twenties, I had (as women always do) been on a diet, felt good about myself and went to a party, wearing a new dress which fitted well, and made the most of everything I had. And while getting a drink I overheard one guy say to another - that one doesn't look too bad. And the other, looking me up and down in an unpleasant way, then looked me full in the face said loudly ' Doesn't do anything for me. Too much meat and not enough gravy." Then they both had a good laugh.

I never wore that dress again, I didn't go to a party again for ages and I never wore anything low cut again for years and years.. I did not know these men - so why did they do that? And I still remember it, obviously, and it was over 30 years ago!
Click to expand...

It's such a shame this happened. For all you know they were men at the party who looked at you and thought you was extremely attractive.
 
Triple Bogey said:
jaguarundi said:
^It seems to be the nature of the kind of people on ALL to take to heart the rejections. I guess other (normal??) people would just laugh it off or say, 'that person is a ..... whatever and take no notice, and, as you say, carry on asking women out.

The converse - this is not per se a 'asking someone out' story, but I hope you bear with me. When I was young I wasn't too horrible looking a woman. I was tall, reasonably slim and always fairly well endowed in the er, chest department, which made me a bit self-conscious when I was a lass.

Anyway I was in my early twenties, I had (as women always do) been on a diet, felt good about myself and went to a party, wearing a new dress which fitted well, and made the most of everything I had. And while getting a drink I overheard one guy say to another - that one doesn't look too bad. And the other, looking me up and down in an unpleasant way, then looked me full in the face said loudly ' Doesn't do anything for me. Too much meat and not enough gravy." Then they both had a good laugh.

I never wore that dress again, I didn't go to a party again for ages and I never wore anything low cut again for years and years.. I did not know these men - so why did they do that? And I still remember it, obviously, and it was over 30 years ago!
Click to expand...

It's such a shame this happened. For all you know they were men at the party who looked at you and thought you was extremely attractive.
Click to expand...


I really liked this perspective.

Why do we not think like this more often?
 
pieflavor said:
Triple Bogey said:
jaguarundi said:
^It seems to be the nature of the kind of people on ALL to take to heart the rejections. I guess other (normal??) people would just laugh it off or say, 'that person is a ..... whatever and take no notice, and, as you say, carry on asking women out.

The converse - this is not per se a 'asking someone out' story, but I hope you bear with me. When I was young I wasn't too horrible looking a woman. I was tall, reasonably slim and always fairly well endowed in the er, chest department, which made me a bit self-conscious when I was a lass.

Anyway I was in my early twenties, I had (as women always do) been on a diet, felt good about myself and went to a party, wearing a new dress which fitted well, and made the most of everything I had. And while getting a drink I overheard one guy say to another - that one doesn't look too bad. And the other, looking me up and down in an unpleasant way, then looked me full in the face said loudly ' Doesn't do anything for me. Too much meat and not enough gravy." Then they both had a good laugh.

I never wore that dress again, I didn't go to a party again for ages and I never wore anything low cut again for years and years.. I did not know these men - so why did they do that? And I still remember it, obviously, and it was over 30 years ago!
Click to expand...

It's such a shame this happened. For all you know they were men at the party who looked at you and thought you was extremely attractive.
Click to expand...


I really liked this perspective.

Why do we not think like this more often?
Click to expand...

I don't myself because I have been wildly optimistic in the past and made a fool out of myself. But the lady at the party, I can imagine the 2 men who insulted her were drunk or morons.

It's hard to find a balance of (a) being realistic and (b) being hopeful and looking at oneself in a good way.
 
Both drunk AND morons, I suspect. Still, it was a change from the 'are you a ******* lesbian then?' comments one sometimes got when (politely) refusing a date request....😸
 
jaguarundi said:
Both drunk AND morons, I suspect. Still, it was a change from the 'are you a ******* lesbian then?' comments one sometimes got when (politely) refusing a date request....😸
Click to expand...

I can imagine. There are some horrible people about, what annoys me is rude, mean, uncaring people seem to get more than me in life. I couldn't be more polite, kind and caring. Where does it get it ?
 

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