Lost all my friends...

Okay, so.
I've lost all of my friends from tons of different reasons, including lack of communication... My sister is the outgoing, friendly, everybody-loves type, so she used to always talk for me, go places with me, introduce me to friends. But now I'm in high school, myself. I had a few friends from years ago, but they either left me for their new friends or I never see them. As for the extremely limited few friends I actually managed to MAKE, they went head over heels for my sister, leaving me behind.
So now I'm afraid to make friends with other guys, because I'm afraid they will abandon me again. I've tried to make girl friends...but i have the inability to talk to them. The girl i liked, i was literally about to ask her out, gathering all the courage i had, then i saw her kiss one of my few friends (Icebreaker). I do nothing but sit at my desk, staring at my phone, waiting for a call or text...but nothing ever happens unless it's my family. Every once in a while, i go for a walk or something with my sister, which cures my loneliness for maybe a day, but it's just temporary.
I can't get over the fear of losing another guy friend, but i can't muster the courage to get a girl friend. The only way in the past I've made friends was through other friends, but now that i have none, i can't seem to make any on my own. How should i deal with my shyness/fear?

Are you actually going out and aggressively recruiting friends? Or just sitting at home, hoping some friends will magically show up? Because if the latter is your plan of action, then you're never going to get anywhere.

You have to force fear aside and just go out and TRY, and keep trying, no matter what. If someone thinks you're weird or awkward, who cares? Rejection isn't a personal judgement against you...everyone has different criteria for what they want in a friend, and you just don't fit their criteria. There's nothing demeaning or insulting about that. So if you're rejected, just move on to the next person, and keep searching and making small talk until you find someone that you click with. That's where you start building a friend base. So go get at it!

----Steve

Join a club or sport usually you have that common topic to tlak about. If you see a girl from there then strike a conversation up with her, she won't think its wierd because your talkign about that club or sport. And eventually start talking to her more and get to know her. But you have to feel confident for it to happen. I know its prob hard to just turn over a new leaf but take it step by step. And just become friends with them first. Also maybe start talkign to them about some tv show or something that they mgith be interested in. Its a good conversation starter.

Well, I've been trying to get new friends, but usually when i do, other people influence that person's decision. I lost a new friend because his friends said they hated me....never seen them in my life. And my last friend, well...i came home and my sister was gone, so i asked where she was....at my friend's house....he didn't invite me, or even tell me. So, I've been trying to make girl friends, but every time I'm in sight of the finish line to true friendship, something happens and I'm back to zero.
I have a limited few "friends" at lunch, but they usually talk amongst themselves, and i feel left out and distant from them. Its not that i get "rejected", i can just never reach the finish line. And for some reason, people are distant of me, i don't wear weird clothing, say weird or awkward things
example: Switching seats for english class. The class desks are arranged in a U, and i was on the end of the U from where the teacher had put us originally. I figured it was a pretty good seat, close to the board, so i stayed where i was. Once everyone was done, i looked around, and the 3 seats next to me were all empty.
So it's not that I'm not trying, its that every time i rise up, i get kicked back down
EDIT: Timeless: I can't really join any clubs or any after school stuff, because i attend college part time in the afternoon also...

I'm a bit confused as to your use of a race for an analogy to friendship. Becoming friends with someone isn't about "crossing the finish line" or completing a task or something...it's a fluid, interpersonal relationship, with give and take.

It's sort of hard to understand your situation without some more background information...but from what you've described, I think you might need to just loosen up a bit. Just because people aren't sitting by you when you rearrange seats for English class doesn't mean that no one is your friend. The other examples seem a little circumstantial as well. Your friend isn't obligated to invite you over when he just wants to see your sis. Lol he's probably just interested in her and didn't want you around at the moment.

----Steve

Yeah, well from what I can see ur just missing the gist of what friendship is.. i'm not trying to sound harsh, but from what i'm experienced everybody seems to have a personal definition of it.

There was a time like, 2 years ago that i was in your exact position, I felt distant and far away from all my friends,, my jokes don't click with them, I had trouble making new friends by myself, and most of the people just ignored me after talking to me for a few times. It was always awkward and left me in total depression...

It took me a while to get my own definition of what qualities I need in MY friend, notice the emphasize on I, MY, like Badjedidude said Friendship

Badjedidude said:

...it's a fluid, interpersonal relationship, with give and take.

Click to expand...

and what creates an interpersonal relationship is something that both you and your friend have in common, whether it be same tastes, same sense of humour and etc.

What I did in my situation is I kept in touch with my current friends, but kept on going out and around new people, regardless of the rejections, eventually i landed in a group of people who accepted me, and i was happy in my new niche...

Once you had a few great (true) friends, you'll develope the right social mindset to make and keep new ones..