Hello there. I am a 46 year old man who suffers from a sort of existential loneliness. That is, I can have lots of people around me, and I often do, but I feel isolated and have never really felt like I 'fitted in', even when everyone is laughing at my jokes, etc. I think in part (maybe mostly) it is due to the fact that I am gay, which causes a sort of dislocation when you grow up in a nongay world.