A quick self-centred, slightly pointless, whiny rant about fresia all

[kinzeUK]

I would love to say that things have improved with me since I last spoke but truth is, I feel even more like I'm losing my tentative grip, clinging precariously to the craggy rockface of life and feeling that I am going to fall back arms and legs flailing wildly into the seemingly bottomless yawning chasm of depression and bitterness below me for good.

But enough of my honeysuckle; how are the rest of you?

x

 

[The Good Citizen]

Hang in there Kinze and don't be a stranger, theres always plenty of support for you on here. I'm always about on PM too and not just to exchange film ideas should you need to chat. I'm good thanks, I'm working my way through your films, watched Melancholia the other day, really enjoyed it (if thats the right word!) Got 500 days of Summer to watch tonight with a friend too.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Well I won't judge you if you fall but I believe that you can make it through. <3

 

[Tiina63]

As the good citizen says, keep coming here. If you feel as if you are falling, let us catch you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hey, Kinze. (hug)
Sorry to hear things aren't going well right now. The others who have posted are correct - you have a lot of support here you can access when you need it.

 

[kinzeUK]

Thanks guys you lot are great and I haven't forgotten about you.......it's just I rarely even have the energy to even 'talk' online. Tonight I'm sat here in the absolute pits of despair. I am STILL waiting to hear about this counseling (I enquired again recently and told it could easily be another month or so until I am next on the waiting list). A month is a **** long time when every day I struggle to even cope. I now take Zopiclone or however it's spelt to sleep which helps only I can't go a night without it otherwise I'm awake 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 times a night/morning. I am supposed to be starting a month's work experience in two weeks time for ironically a place called Panic Now which is a centre for people with mental disorders of all kinds. So I know I at least have that to hopefully look forward too but in the meantime where it counts, I'm just watching the minutes tick by to nothing.

I came this close and I mean THIS CLOSE to going downstairs in the middle of the night and wanting to take all the pills I can find (of which there is a fresia ton because of my mum's meds as well as my dad's) and down the lot. I semi dreamed doing this too. And again the only thing that really stops me outside of the fact that knowing me I would only fresia it up anyways, is what it would do to my parents. I could never do something like that to them. But I think sometimes I know they won't be around for ever. And if God forbid they were to both go suddenly or soon and I'm left homeless and feeling like I am now.......well I'm sure I don't have to spell it out.

It just FUCKS ME OFF SEVERE all of this honeysuckle.

But again, thanks for your comments I do appreciate them and I just hope you lot or at least some of you are finding life a bit easier to take these days.

x

---

Hang in there Kinze and don't be a stranger, theres always plenty of support for you on here. I'm always about on PM too and not just to exchange film ideas should you need to chat. I'm good thanks, I'm working my way through your films, watched Melancholia the other day, really enjoyed it (if thats the right word!) Got 500 days of Summer to watch tonight with a friend too.

I'm glad you liked "Melancholia" - a surefire film for depressives if I ever saw one. It has it's faults and is overlong but I bet you were totally ******* wowed with the beginning and end if nothing else am I right?

And "500 Days Of Summer" is a great film too.

And again thanks for the support and PM's, appreciated.

 

[HC22]

Sorry to hear you're feeling down
... I wish you the best, friend.

And,.. I'm ok.
I'm alone but I'm feeling good.
The message of Jesus really helped me to become a better and a happier person, it changed me and I'm so glad it did.
Read the Gospel people please.

 

[In a lonely place]

Rant all you want Kinze, hang in there.

 

[OurLadysTears]

I would love to say that things have improved with me since I last spoke but truth is, I feel even more like I'm losing my tentative grip, clinging precariously to the craggy rockface of life and feeling that I am going to fall back arms and legs flailing wildly into the seemingly bottomless yawning chasm of depression and bitterness below me for good.

But enough of my honeysuckle; how are the rest of you?

x

I'm waiting for the rest of you at this bottomless pit. Where are you? And how the hell are you?

 

[strugl]

I would love to say that things have improved with me since I last spoke but truth is, I feel even more like I'm losing my tentative grip, clinging precariously to the craggy rockface of life and feeling that I am going to fall back arms and legs flailing wildly into the seemingly bottomless yawning chasm of depression and bitterness below me for good.

But enough of my honeysuckle; how are the rest of you?

x

The rest of us are alive and hopefull.I have a lot in common with you am I am also hanging from that same craggy cliff by the skin of my fingernails.

just lost my second job in a row and am fighting not to fall in the chasm of depression i fell into after losing the first job. God I would die if ever i went back to where I was in 2010.

 

[kinzeUK]

I would love to say that things have improved with me since I last spoke but truth is, I feel even more like I'm losing my tentative grip, clinging precariously to the craggy rockface of life and feeling that I am going to fall back arms and legs flailing wildly into the seemingly bottomless yawning chasm of depression and bitterness below me for good.

But enough of my honeysuckle; how are the rest of you?

x

The rest of us are alive and hopefull.I have a lot in common with you am I am also hanging from that same craggy cliff by the skin of my fingernails.

just lost my second job in a row and am fighting not to fall in the chasm of depression i fell into after losing the first job. God I would die if ever i went back to where I was in 2010.

"God I would die if ever i went back to where I was in 2010."

I can't even tell you how much I second that opinion as far as myself goes.

I'm sorry to read you're struggling too - I don't have a job and haven't done for nearly a year but that's nothing to having a job and then losing it and it's all recent.

I wish you all the best and hope you and I get something soon.

Plenty of people on here to talk to though when you need it as you are probably quite aware (sorry I don't know if you're a new member or not, I don't think I've seen the name before)