an awkward situation , What to do folks?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Moe

Active member
Joined
Aug 28, 2012
Messages
26
Reaction score
0
Location
Pittsburgh, PA
Hey folks,
its been a while since my last activity around this lovely site. here is the thing , this might looks crazy so don't laugh at me , I started playing a game called World of Warcraft aka wow in 2008 and spent most of my time on that game and I've never thought about my personal life like looking for a partner or something like that , when suddenly I met a girl in that game and I really liked her and I think she liked me back. we used to spend a lot a lot of time together whether playing WoW or watching some tv shows. she always sweet talks with me but when I do the same , she pushes me away and act like there is nothing between us , I got confused , why would she does that? I starting going offline for couple of days to see if she misses me or not , and she did sent me like 8 messages in 10 minutes to just find where have I been , I was 16 at that time and she was 20 which is weird i know at some points. a few months later , I graduated from school so did my twin sister and my parents had to send us to USA for college. anyways , that girl and I kept convincing our selves to work our issue out but we could not , I got busy and she did too , we broke up ..... and now I'm 20 and 2 weeks ago I've met my new neighbor , she is a pretty girl , I've met her in the laundry room , we talked like for 3 hours and when she was about to leave I asked her " may I have your number?" we did exchanged numbers , and then I realized that she used to play that game I played in the past and we have a lot of in common, and when i KNOW someone who has the same commons I have , I get crazy about that person but the problem is she is 28 and I'm 20 , I dont see that as a problem but I have no idea if she does , 3 days ago , I was sick and we were texting and I told her that im sick , she told me do you like chicken soup? I was like " yes" , she stopped typing for 10 minutes and then typed " check your door " I did checked my door and I found a chicken soup and a really cool letter , but she wasnt there LOOOL , that made my day though , I texted her saying " you just disappeared " she laughed and said I have to go to sleep now ,, talk to you later , we did talked ,,,, but my question is " I wanna ask her out but I dunno how because If I got rejected I'll lose her for ever , even talking with her , because I know myself , I cant do anything after I get rejected from someone. so I have to move out to another apartment I guess hahhaha
 
Go visit her, maybe try touching her at her shoulder or her knee, her reaction should give you a pretty good idea.
 
Maybe write a letter, easier for both of you than face to face, say you value your friendship but wonder if there's something more there, be casual, let her know you value the friendship and don't want to get the wrong idea and ruin that, but you need to know either way.

Good luck - let us know what happens
 
That was so nice of her, she sounds like a very caring person.

Just ask her out. It's obvious she likes you, don't make a big deal about it, just two friends going out to have a coffee or some lunch together, something like that. For some reason it seems almost every person here at ALL over-thinks everything, I know I do! Advice you hear from people is soooooo easier said than done, but I say just ask her out and don't obsess about it.
 
Seems like she likes you, bringing soup is a (very) good signal.

As everyone said, just ask her if she'd like to have lunch or just grab a coffee. That doesn't necessarily have to be a date, I often have lunch or a drink with girls who are just friends. You're clearly over-thinking it. As perfanoff said, whatever happens, make sure you tell her that your friendship is very valuable to you. It's hard to stay friends after you got rejected, but it doesn't have to end, that's all up to you.

The difference in age doesn't matter either. It's not about how old you really are, it's about how you two connect.
 
Well I was in the car today and this song came up on my playlist, made me think of you. Perhaps this is cheesy, but maybe you could play this in the background next time you meet, see if she gets the hint?



Also I was thinking you could invite her, not as a date as such, but go to the cinema, ideally a Rom-com then go have a drink / food afterwards. Maybe that'll set a mood and things will progress naturally. At the least you can discuss the film so there's no awkward silence if it looks like she just wants to be friends.

I hope that helps a little.


^ Oh, I should warn you. This is what I did on a first date once, and now she's my wife!!!
 
perfanoff said:
Go visit her, maybe try touching her at her shoulder or her knee, her reaction should give you a pretty good idea.
Dude , she lives just downstairs and it will look weird if I just visit her , dont you think? plus I'm little shy and so is she!


Edward W said:
Maybe write a letter, easier for both of you than face to face, say you value your friendship but wonder if there's something more there, be casual, let her know you value the friendship and don't want to get the wrong idea and ruin that, but you need to know either way.

Good luck - let us know what happens
hmmmmm , I would probably do that , but not now , the problem is every time I want to ask her out I fell dumb and decide not to , dunno why ><

thanks though!


Lilianna said:
That was so nice of her, she sounds like a very caring person.

Just ask her out. It's obvious she likes you, don't make a big deal about it, just two friends going out to have a coffee or some lunch together, something like that. For some reason it seems almost every person here at ALL over-thinks everything, I know I do! Advice you hear from people is soooooo easier said than done, but I say just ask her out and don't obsess about it.
about asking her out, should be like a good time to do that? or just go for it?
 
Moe said:
perfanoff said:
Go visit her, maybe try touching her at her shoulder or her knee, her reaction should give you a pretty good idea.
Dude , she lives just downstairs and it will look weird if I just visit her , dont you think? plus I'm little shy and so is she!


Edward W said:
Maybe write a letter, easier for both of you than face to face, say you value your friendship but wonder if there's something more there, be casual, let her know you value the friendship and don't want to get the wrong idea and ruin that, but you need to know either way.

Good luck - let us know what happens
hmmmmm , I would probably do that , but not now , the problem is every time I want to ask her out I fell dumb and decide not to , dunno why ><

thanks though!


Lilianna said:
That was so nice of her, she sounds like a very caring person.

Just ask her out. It's obvious she likes you, don't make a big deal about it, just two friends going out to have a coffee or some lunch together, something like that. For some reason it seems almost every person here at ALL over-thinks everything, I know I do! Advice you hear from people is soooooo easier said than done, but I say just ask her out and don't obsess about it.
about asking her out, should be like a good time to do that? or just go for it?




It's the most natural thing to knock at her door, maybe ask her if she wants to come to your place to have pizza. It's only awkward if you let yourself feel awkward!
 
dont mean to sound negative... but it feels like big sister love...
but I could be wrong... love is mysterious after all...

but love at first sight is kinda old school... by old school, I mean elementary/highschool... cuz puppy love is just so beautiful and sweet...

anyway... at 28, she might be looking for something a bit more serious, ie. building a life/future together...
Don't take it the wrong way, but you still sound a bit immature... which can also be kinda kinky to some... lol

Sorry... hate to be the only one shitting on your dreams but I tried to lighten it up at the end. friends?
 
MadMonkè said:
dont mean to sound negative... but it feels like big sister love...
but I could be wrong... love is mysterious after all...

but love at first sight is kinda old school... by old school, I mean elementary/highschool... cuz puppy love is just so beautiful and sweet...

anyway... at 28, she might be looking for something a bit more serious, ie. building a life/future together...
Don't take it the wrong way, but you still sound a bit immature... which can also be kinda kinky to some... lol

Sorry... hate to be the only one shitting on your dreams but I tried to lighten it up at the end. friends?
thanks for your honesty Mad! I really dunno what to do lol , I have no idea why I always get attracted to girls who are older than me by ages especially when we have a lot in common , but with other girls even if they're smoking hot I mean we talk a bit and when I found myself share nothing with her , I feel dumb and I say to myself " why did I talk to her in the first place ? " does that make sense or I'm being weird?
 
here is some progress . she asked me to go out with her to buy some stuff, and when we got home , she invited me to her place , she asked me if I'm hungry , I was like yeah I can eat , then she cooked the dinner and mixed 2 drinks ( she's russian american she's kinda good at mixing drinks lol ) anyways , I finished my plate then we played Xbox for a couple of hours , and yeah tha's all.
 
Moe said:
here is some progress . she asked me to go out with her to buy some stuff, and when we got home , she invited me to her place , she asked me if I'm hungry , I was like yeah I can eat , then she cooked the dinner and mixed 2 drinks ( she's russian american she's kinda good at mixing drinks lol ) anyways , I finished my plate then we played Xbox for a couple of hours , and yeah tha's all.

this sounds to me like dating. hang on, not that kind of dating. I mean dating as in getting to know the other person, it doesnt have to involve touching and kissing or be committed to be considered dating. its 'feeling' the other out.

why? because you want to know this is the person that you want to spend your life with. and the only way to do that is to do thing with them. also, a relationship involves two factors. First, she wants to do something for you. Making soup for you is doing something for you, if you think about a couple, one party always does something for the other. Second, She wants something from you. Not in the same way that she is doing for you, but in a way such as your presence, or your attention, or your opinion.

lets spin it and apply to you. why do you want a girl? a partner? 1, because you want to contribute (to do something for her). 2, because you want your partner around. right? im almost positive there isnt a #3. you give some, and you require some.

so what do you do from here? date her. do stuff with her. but dont be all crazy about it though. like everysingleday crazy. you have each others number, you two talk a lot. If something comes up, ask her if she wants to join. like how she asked you to go shopping. maybe a round of laundry. walk around a shopping center. or invite her over for a few drinks and hang, shoot the breeze, take a walk. since you two both like playing games, play some.

and ill tell you this right now. the stereotype that 'guys ask girls out' thing. if you are to shy to ask her out, and take a long time. it is okay, because if she really feel something for you, she will wait. she really will wait. and if she doesnt wait, then thats your answer.
 
Regumika said:
Moe said:
here is some progress . she asked me to go out with her to buy some stuff, and when we got home , she invited me to her place , she asked me if I'm hungry , I was like yeah I can eat , then she cooked the dinner and mixed 2 drinks ( she's russian american she's kinda good at mixing drinks lol ) anyways , I finished my plate then we played Xbox for a couple of hours , and yeah tha's all.

this sounds to me like dating. hang on, not that kind of dating. I mean dating as in getting to know the other person, it doesnt have to involve touching and kissing or be committed to be considered dating. its 'feeling' the other out.

why? because you want to know this is the person that you want to spend your life with. and the only way to do that is to do thing with them. also, a relationship involves two factors. First, she wants to do something for you. Making soup for you is doing something for you, if you think about a couple, one party always does something for the other. Second, She wants something from you. Not in the same way that she is doing for you, but in a way such as your presence, or your attention, or your opinion.

lets spin it and apply to you. why do you want a girl? a partner? 1, because you want to contribute (to do something for her). 2, because you want your partner around. right? im almost positive there isnt a #3. you give some, and you require some.

so what do you do from here? date her. do stuff with her. but dont be all crazy about it though. like everysingleday crazy. you have each others number, you two talk a lot. If something comes up, ask her if she wants to join. like how she asked you to go shopping. maybe a round of laundry. walk around a shopping center. or invite her over for a few drinks and hang, shoot the breeze, take a walk. since you two both like playing games, play some.

and ill tell you this right now. the stereotype that 'guys ask girls out' thing. if you are to shy to ask her out, and take a long time. it is okay, because if she really feel something for you, she will wait. she really will wait. and if she doesnt wait, then thats your answer.
you're perfectly make sense my man! , actually there was that awkward silence , I had no idea what to say at that time , I looked at her and when she look at me , I pull my sight away , is that creepy? lol
 
I finally took her out for a dinner, that what I thought at first but after dinner , while we were driving back , she asked me if I ever been to the Carnegie center? I was like no , she said it is after midnight shows like laser shows and stuff like that. I said yes sure . we went there , we had fun actually .. we held hands and hugged... and I knew something knew about her ... she loves cars hahahhaha , she asked if she can drive my car? I said yes ... I wish I said no ... she was driving so fast LOL.
 
good to hear that you two are still at it!

dating is fun if you know how to do it. (no, not that kind of dating, but you know what i mean). doing stuff together, going out, see shows (or see cars), talk, hold hands, moments of silence, walk around the mall/outlet. even sitting around the apt.

remember that (just incase) rejection to relationship is not an 'all or nothing' deal. you two seem to get along enough, and can continue, to be friends (not hangout buddies). keep going! enjoy your life! and help her enjoy hers if that is what you want for her!
 

Latest posts

Back
Top