Being an only child makes a person dysfunctional?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

ardour

Well known loser
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
5,570
Reaction score
1,368
Location
New Zealand
As in behind their peers when it comes to social skills, resilience, conflict resolution, and more likely to be over-sensitive, anxious and self-absorbed.
 
I think that depends alot on the parents. I have heard someone say, a while ago that: "If you have 1 kid, it'll be a spoiled brat, have two, and they constantly fight, have three, and one of them always gets left out."

I personally don't agree with that but your post reminded me of that. Anyway, i think parenting has alot to do with it.
 
I don't think being an only child makes a person dysfunctional, although I'm not exactly a proper example of that. But I think all the challenges you mentioned are prone to everyone, not only only children.
 
I don't think so. I've known some only children who were very functional, and some who were dysfunctional, but for reasons that had nothing to do with them being an only child. It really doesn't make that much difference, if any.

All of them were generally more sheltered by their parents, though, than the ones who had siblings. But that still didn't end up making much difference.
 
ardour said:
As in behind their peers when it comes to social skills, resilience, conflict resolution, and more likely to be over-sensitive, anxious and self-absorbed.

I laughed, sorry, not in a bad way or at you though. I have a twin brother. Social skills? No, I am incredibly shy at walking up to strangers and starting a conversation. Resilience? Not sure what yo mean by that. Conflict resolution? No I don't think having siblings helps you in that regard, most of the time you just "get over it" and act like it never happened with no resolve. Over sensitive? I know I can be over sensitive and anxious. My brother is a bit self absorbed, me not so much. My mother made the comment that he probably doesn't even talk to me when we are downstairs on our computers. He's always lived at home, me I just recently had to move back, and she is right. He NEVER talks to me, he's always on his many different MMO's with his headset on talking to the people he plays his games with. I only play one MMO and I don't use a headset to talk to them, I use the in game chat. Even when he plays the same one I am he doesn't ask if I can take him through anything. I've offered to him a few times, before I was even back at home and still on my own, and he always acted like it was the last thing he wanted to do, then always played it off as that I needed him. Which is totally wrong, I don't I just offered because it helps him out and honestly it would be nice. I hear him on his headset talking to his "friends" and he makes comments to them about one about that guy and his brother playing together. I sit there and think, yeah that's what a decent brother does. Even last night I was saying about something I saw online. I think he completely ignored me because he said nothing. So yeah, having a sibling doesn't help, you can still be just as dysfunctional.
 
ardour said:
As in behind their peers when it comes to social skills, resilience, conflict resolution, and more likely to be over-sensitive, anxious and self-absorbed.

Sounds like me. I have eight brothers and sisters.
 
I hope being an only child doesn't make one dysfunctional because my kiddo is an only child! I think there are many other factors involved in how one does in life.
I have 4 brothers and we were all born within 7 years. Our parents are emotionally stunted and really not qualified as good parents. Now that we're adults, my brothers & I tend to gang up on our parents :) :)

-Teresa
 
While siblings have a role in a child's development, in my experience social/economic upbringing pays a more critical part. Most children who come from a more affluent background (say middle to upper class) tend to be more self-absorbed and over-sensitive while children from a less affluent background tend to not have these traits. I've also noticed these traits are amplified when the person has a way "out." A way out meaning that they can always move back home, or ask parents for money etc. People who are fundamentally on their own tend to have a less selfish demeanor. Of course, this isn't talking about all people as you can easily pick people from both groups and show how they don't follow the above.

Just my two cents.
 
Sci-Fi said:
I laughed, sorry, not in a bad way or at you though. I have a twin brother. Social skills? No, I am incredibly shy at walking up to strangers and starting a conversation. Resilience? Not sure what yo mean by that. Conflict resolution? No I don't think having siblings helps you in that regard, most of the time you just "get over it" and act like it never happened with no resolve. Over sensitive? I know I can be over sensitive and anxious. My brother is a bit self absorbed, me not so much. My mother made the comment that he probably doesn't even talk to me when we are downstairs on our computers. He's always lived at home, me I just recently had to move back, and she is right. He NEVER talks to me, he's always on his many different MMO's with his headset on talking to the people he plays his games with. I only play one MMO and I don't use a headset to talk to them, I use the in game chat. Even when he plays the same one I am he doesn't ask if I can take him through anything. I've offered to him a few times, before I was even back at home and still on my own, and he always acted like it was the last thing he wanted to do, then always played it off as that I needed him. Which is totally wrong, I don't I just offered because it helps him out and honestly it would be nice. I hear him on his headset talking to his "friends" and he makes comments to them about one about that guy and his brother playing together. I sit there and think, yeah that's what a decent brother does. Even last night I was saying about something I saw online. I think he completely ignored me because he said nothing. So yeah, having a sibling doesn't help, you can still be just as dysfunctional.

*He* sounds dysfunctional alright. The experience of having grown up living with a sibling, or just anyone outside of parents must widen the comfort zone a bit though, even if in your case there was barely any interaction. The idea of living with flatmates for example makes me really uneasy.
 
One thing I find that being an only child has done for me has made me need a space, however tiny, that is just mine. If I ever get married, my prospective hubby won't be the only one who wants his own garden shed!! It's nice to have somewhere where I can go to think, where noone will touch my stuff, even it is only a garden chair and a shelf of secondhand books in the afore mentioned hypothetical shed.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top