childhood problems

[thomas433]

since i was a child i was lonely i did have friends in school but they were only just welcome me when they see me and stuff but not a true friend everybody had there own circle of friends i was being bullied and called a nerd very much somedays i just ask my mother questions like why do i even exist i didnt really find a reason for my exisctence and now i am 16 i dont have many friends only like 1 or 2 real friends and i just can have anymore i never get used to people easly i always push away people from me for no reason and i cant even talk to girls or have a girlfriend which is i think is now making me very depressed every person in my age has a girl that she likes him i am not popular and i think my problem now is the reason of my childhood can someone please help me ?!

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site.

 

[Peaches]

Hi Thomas, welcome to this site.

 

[a lonely person]

Apparently no

 

[Kira]

This reminds me of myself a few years ago. I had pretty similar experiences at school, bullies and lack of friends etc. I used to be scared of anyone who talked to me and always felt jealously at couples; Trust me when I say women are nothing to be scared of and I garuntee you a girlfriend is not the key to happiness. I used to think I must have been some weirdo to be bullied; yet, as soon I pushed myself to be confident in myself (I am not attractive, yet somehow showing confidence and acceptance of that meant people did not pick up on it) I noticed the bullying stopped and people gravitated towards me. I used to push people away (I was scared that they would hurt me like the kids did in the playground or whatever); yet I realized that as I was older and those around me were older people grow more sensitive and that people aren't out to get me anymore. I used to Google how to guides on killing myself because I was so depressed and felt no reason to be alive. Trust me, from experience, if you keep your chin up and be confident and proud of yourself you will find the negativity should go away. That is what happened for me at least, I can't really help further than that, but I really hope the same works for you.