Does going abroad solve loneliness? Are people friendlier overseas?

[Biloba70]

I am a Filippina and working/living in Italy for some years now... My decision of going abroad was for an important change of life (not economically, coz i was happily working in an export company). I was living a "traditionally unacceptable" situation. I was living with a man who was married in his teens and separated (but a womanizer). My mom saw no future in that relationship and she took steps to make me come out.... coz i was just content where i was. Events made it possible - by going abroad to "straighten my life and have more serenity and have better purpose". At that time and circumstances, it was the most logical thing to do.

Going abroad has helped me a lot in overcoming the final separation with the father of my children, then being able to provide for their needs as a single parent without going to courts. I was able to help my family members with their needs. But i was lonely and nostalgic.

Going abroad broadens horizons when one has the time/chance to see how broad and beautiful the horizon! and opens opportunities if given the chance to catch one (hmmm being in italy it is so difficult)... I just hope for my children who are now living with me.... but they are so much influenced by the italian ways that makes me so sad the more.

I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me. but i am choosy with friends so i only have a few. i am leading a monotone life: (home-work-home) and i get lonelier and more nostalgic everyday. And i have many worries coz i am a single mom...

my living in italy has become a struggle: with the bureaucracy, difference of culture (though i integrated well coz one needs to adjust with the environment) tiresome, and pressure that i wish to go home.... as soon as my children will be able to sustain themselves.

I believe that if i really wanted to go away from my country, it could have been different.

Sometimes, i just feel like always annulling myself for making others happy. Probably i just need a break --- to unwind and get refreshed.

 

[Daisy]

The main problem with that website is that it assumes that America is one set of ideals and absolutely everywhere else on the planet is another set. That is nonsense. I am English and the people in the north of England are totally different to those in the south. You can't make massive generalisations about a whole world. Our stereotypes here are that we are cold and remote and don't look after our teeth. That doesn't describe me or anyone I know. You get friendly and un friendly people everywhere.

 

[Thrasymachus]

I was the first one in my family born Stateside, the rest of my immediate family all were born in Greece. I can agree with what that website is saying. The United States is just a fake shell of people trying to make and spend as much money as possible. There is not much emphasis placed on a more human factor, we have no sense of community or fraternity with those around us. Your neighbors are just those that bought the house next to you, they are not part of a shared community that you interact with. Even family in the USA is cold-hearted. Many Americans brag that when kids become 18 you should force them out to live on their own, whereas in most of the world they tend to live at home till they are ready to start their own families. In the state I live there are like 1,000 lakes, but none of them are truly part of the "commons", you have to live in the town of the lake, and get or pay for a badge to be able to even swim, if it happens that they have public access. I grew up in the 80's and 90's. First I lived in a majority black neighborhood, then a majority Latino one(where I still live). It used to be only those communities that used to act as ghetto gangster wannabes, but now it is everywhere(though not as pronounced as in the aforementioned communities). If you ever have the misfortune to live in such communities, you can see the kind of disrespect that their patterns of language and behavior model. There is just too much going against the USA.

But I agree also with what others here have written that if you are lonely here, you will tend toward loneliness abroad. When I last visited Greece in 2001 is when I started to truly shut myself off to the world. I went there and just stayed locked up in Grandmother's house for a month, then came home stateside and did the same in my mother's house for a decade. I thought things would automatically become better in Greece, but I stayed with the same mentality and patterns. Lately though I have been thinking of visiting and trying to get a job in Greece now that I know I need to set myself up in life and make friends. But I am scared and doubtful if it is possible to make a independent living abroad, when I never made enough to do it here. I just cannot see myself happy living Stateside, this country and its inhabitant's mentality is just too atrocious. But advocating just moving abroad is not good advice for most as it takes many, many years to become practiced in a new language and to adjust to a new culture. They will become isolated in pots of English language expats and the foreigners who know and want to practice their English.

 

[zwan]

I recently went on a trip to Asia was fantastic.
Ok my suggestions. 1. Go through a traveling agency especially if you are a first time traveler. Plus you go in a group so the people that go on these types of things are most of the time friendly will chat with you and get you in sociable environments. There should also be a tour leader who will help you socialize.
2. I haven't gotten around to go on that site (too lazy) but when they do this 1000 percent success rate stuff it sounds like bullshit. I would suggest going through gap tours/travels or if you are a student sti travel they have specials for registered students.
3. Definitely a clean slate type of thing with traveling. You can reinvent yourself. Have fun. And take as much of your new formed character back with you.
4. If you can afford traveling you should you owe that to yourself. + you have dollars ¥y friend so traveling should be "cheap" to certain countries.
5. Avoid kon tiki tours in Europe. Cept if you are into drunk 18 year olds.
6. DO IT. It'll expand your knowledge of the world make you more wiser. Plus you will have a amazing thing to talk to anyone about back home for years. Especially if you go to an exotic country .
Any more qeustions let me know k?
Zwan

 

[cumulus.james]

Don't come the the UK. People over here are mean spireted and there has to be a reason for someone to know you. You cant say hi to someone in the street overe here. It's odd you would say that about america. I was thinking how lovley it would be to live in the states because what we see over here are neighbors all being freindly, like coming round to welcome you when you move in and stuff. People sitting out on thier porches and talking to folk who go by.

In the UK I have lived in the same village for most of my life. I don't know a single person anymore. When I was a kid in the 1980's it was still the case that most the villagers knew each other. Not anymore. You see its about community. Community is dead over here. And the people get more shallow and superficial with every passing moment.

I would imagine the places wher the people are most welcoming would be the poorer places, but thats only going to be depressing as youd also witness a lot of suffering.

I'd imagine the chinese are quite welcoming and open.

Hi all,
I've been inspired lately by this Asian American expat who has a site and movement promoting the idea that going overseas will cure loneliness and alienation problems in America. He claims that people are friendlier and more inclusive overseas, and that women are more approachable and down to earth as well, making it easier to get dates. Have any of you found that to be true?

I saw his comparison chart here of key differences between the US and most other countries. They make other countries sound like some kind of a "social/dating paradise". How accurate are these comparisons? I know nothing is 100 percent true or false, so what degree of accuracy would you assign the comparisons in this chart?

http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm

The testimonials on his site seem pretty authentic too.

http://www.happierabroad.com/testimonials.php

He also has some entertaining videos showing how much friendlier people (especially girls) were during his trips overseas:

http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php

What do you all think? Have any of you been overseas and found yourself less lonely or not lonely at all? Was it easier to make friends or get dates?

If so, then I'd love to travel or maybe even live overseas. But which country should I go to? I have no idea where to start or how to choose.

I was going to ask these questions in the forum of the site I mentioned above, but I figured that they might be a little biased, so I came here to try to get a more neutral third-party perspective first.

Also, do you think loneliness is a reflection of problems in society or of problems in the individual? I've heard people making arguments for both sides. I know that no one likes to accept blame and that people prefer to blame others or external circumstances, but seriously, how can we truly know whether the problem is in us or in society?

Thanks.

 

[WWu777]

Check out this new Global Dating Solution pamphlet that explains why International Dating is the only real solution to the male loneliness epidemic in America. It makes a LOT of sense.

http://www.happierabroad.com/GlobalDatingSolution.pdf

 

[WWu777]

Check out this new Global Dating Solution pamphlet that explains why International Dating is the only real solution to the male loneliness epidemic in America. It makes a LOT of sense.

http://www.happierabroad.com/GlobalDatingSolution.pdf

 

[WWu777]

Check out this new Global Dating Solution pamphlet that explains why International Dating is the only real solution to the male loneliness epidemic in America. It makes a LOT of sense.

http://www.happierabroad.com/GlobalDatingSolution.pdf